Painkillers. Again!

Dear Friends, Lately, I’ve been playing pain roulette. Well, OK. Not pain, more soreness. In my muscles, the ones I keep forgetting I have until they hurt. Right now, I have my schedule perfectly planned to ensure that I am suffering in a new and different way every single day. I think it’s particularly ingenious. I work out at the ...

Spare Holes

Dear Jim, I think I love you. In a platonic, services-rendered-for-cash kind of way, that is. Every time I see you, you hurt me. I walk away shaken and sore, but I still want more. You’ve introduced me to parts of my body I didn’t even know the names of until we met. I love the no-nonsense snap of your ...

A Warning

Dear Friends and Associates, Impending doom. That’s what you should sense if you get too close to me today. If I was nice, I’d put up a sign warning you of potential disaster. But I’m not feeling especially nice, either, so I’m far more likely to let you stumble into that trap. You’ve been warned.Jenni P.S. I did not, in ...

Unsuper

Dear Diary, I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. Here’s the problem. Coming down with a cold would destroy the theory I’ve clung to for the past few years: that I am super-immune. Losing this belief would not only seriously damage my current worldview, but leave me with exactly zero superpowers. Because ...