The Helper

Dear Dumb Samaritan: Thank you for stopping for us last night. You pulled over on the shoulder and climbed out of your Trans Sport, your ridiculously baggy Vikings jersey and knee-length cutoff shorts instantly soaking through in the sheeting rain. You had a flashlight like state troopers carry; you meant business. But we were just stopped for the same reason ...

Slave

dear diary, last night, i kicked the cat. i don’t know why i did it, other than the fact that i was upset. i was cold and couldn’t sleep. i was frustrated over the twenty or so irritating or guilty things that poke around in my head on a regular basis. so i kicked the cat to push her off ...

Unarmed

Dear Mr. Bunyan: I’ve heard that they’ve made great advances in prosthetics in recent years. Here’s wishing you a speedy recovery. Sincerely, Jenni

Cheesy

Dear Pulitzer Committee: I would like to submit a piece from an author who may likely be the most important new poet of the 21st century. While her milieu may be limited, she is able to muse upon any dairy product with eloquence and style. Please consider the following for your esteemed award. feta by stephanie ripleyoh joy! sweet, sweet ...