Sorry About the Pants Joke.

Dear Dad, Once again, you’ve saved me. My car is running, and has four matching wheels. (Which is more important? The matching wheels, of course.) You drove over to my house last night after my lifting class, toting a battery charger, a spoon I left at the Memorial Day picnic, and a coupon for Thai food that my mom clipped ...

[Insert Bad Pun Here]

Gentle Readers, Do you ever stop and wonder when all that bad karma is going to catch up to you? I do. I’m nowhere near stupid enough to think I deserve my usual good luck, so I can accept the occasional visit from the agents of retribution. Like this weekend. Saturday began happily with breakfast at the Highland Grill with ...

The Rulebook: Two

Dear Friends: Earlier this month, I started work on my handy reference guide to me. It’s time for some new material. Unfortunately, rules two and three both derive from especially timely pet peeves. Rule Two: Treating me like I’m stupid is guaranteed to make me bitterly angry. I’ve always felt that I’m willing to accept anyone’s opinion about anything as ...

From my Hot, Sweaty Hands

To my gym’s proprieters: I noticed this morning that you had posted a new policy vis-