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Spare Holes

Jan

21

2003

Dear Jim, I think I love you. In a platonic, services-rendered-for-cash kind of way, that is. Every time I see you, you hurt me. I walk away shaken and sore, but I still want more. You’ve introduced me to parts of my body I didn’t even know the names of until we met. I love the no-nonsense snap of your ...

A Warning

Jan

20

2003

Dear Friends and Associates, Impending doom. That’s what you should sense if you get too close to me today. If I was nice, I’d put up a sign warning you of potential disaster. But I’m not feeling especially nice, either, so I’m far more likely to let you stumble into that trap. You’ve been warned.Jenni P.S. I did not, in ...

Unsuper

Jan

14

2003

Dear Diary, I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. I am not getting sick. Here’s the problem. Coming down with a cold would destroy the theory I’ve clung to for the past few years: that I am super-immune. Losing this belief would not only seriously damage my current worldview, but leave me with exactly zero superpowers. Because ...

76

Jan

12

2003

To Northland Plaza: I have a slight issue with one of your maintenance men. This is not a complaint, since I’ve given up complaining for this year. Specifically, I’m wondering if this particular person has it out for me (I’m recalling a specific incident involving me, the back hallway, phone sex, and him lurking quietly around the corner), or if ...