From Above

To my Fellow Minnesotans: You may be accustomed to seeing me tearing down local highways, impatiently cutting you off as I reach for my coffee and ringing cellphone at the same time, but I bet you weren’t expecting what happened this morning: I became an airborne menace. Yes, that’s correct. ‘Fly an airplane’ has been checked off my life to-do ...

War = Bullshit

Dear Non-American Friends: Many of you have emailed me in recent days asking what the hell we Americans are thinking. I’m getting tired of typing the same thing over and over, so here’s my response to all of you. It may seem very hard to believe, but not all of us are hateful, reactionary war-mongers. In fact, there are quite ...

My Box

Dear Amazon: I appreciate all you to do lure me into spending my dollars at your fine internet marketplace, and I have to congratulate you on your success at that task. Every time I visit, you have so many new things to tell me I don’t yet have, but obviously need. I find the ‘You Know You Want It’ bit ...

NYC

To the City of New York: Remember me? I’m the girl who contributed so generously to your economy this last weekend. GWB told me that spending money was a good way to fight terrorism in the U.S., and who am I to argue? I’m a patriot. I think my favorite moments were the ones that were quintessentially New York for ...