The Worst-Case Team

Dear Mom: Don’t bother worrying about me on this trip. I have friends to do it for me. Alex:don’t be gone long.I’m gonna be worried. Me:what are you worried about?? Alex:that you’ll get hurtthat you’ll be in accident all alonethat a cougar will eat youthat you’ll run into a serial killerthat you’ll be brainwashed by a cult and reappear 7 ...

Trippin’

Dear Friends: It’s kind of funny that I haven’t mentioned this yet, as it’s been occupying most of my spare time-to-think1 lately: I’m going on a trip. Now you’re rolling your eyes and wondering what’s new, because it’s true, I do travel a lot. In fact, I just got back from Chicago at 2am this morning. But this trip is ...

For Mature Audiences Only

To the DNR: Friday morning, I was out walking around Lake Harriet. I heard splashing at the edge of the water, and assumed it was the ducks. I kept hearing it the whole way, but didn’t pay much attention, because I was too occupied with the mental list I was busy compiling, titled “Reasons I’m Walking Right Now Instead of ...

Happy Birthday to Me

Dear Friends: I’m so glad I had to cancel that trip to Amsterdam. Europe can wait. I just had the best birthday ever. Saturday afternoon, Heather and I dragged our sleep-deprived asses to the airport and got on a plane to Charlotte, North Carolina. No, come back! It gets better, I swear. Our already late-night flight was delayed due to ...