Cock. And more cock.

Dear Friends: I haven’t been to the state fair in years. And even when I did go, it was for work, not entertainment. It was pure, unadulterated hell selling theatre tickets to fairgoers back in the day. We passed the time by inventing a scavenger hunt game. You got points for spotting and pointing out certain characteristics. For example: Banana ...

Peanut, R.I.P.

Dear Peanut II: Goodbye, little friend. You weren’t a good cellphone by any stretch of the imagination, but you were cute, and I hear that looks are what counts. I traded you in in favor of the new Nokia, which is different than the classic Nokias in that it features fewer buttons (who needed all those numbers, anyway?), and also, ...

Perfection

Dear Friends: Perfect moments,

A Mighty Fine Barrow.

Dear Friends: This is a test. Round about 11:30 this fine summer morning, I got into Chico and headed downtown with two goals in mind: first, to get me a mushroom sandwich and a cup of watermelon gazpacho, and second, to get fingerprinted. Fun Fact #1: I have been fingerprinted twice this week, for two completely unrelated reasons. On my ...