friday 9.18.2009

Posted in las vegas #5 on September 29th, 2009 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: birthday, nevada, vegas

There’s nothing quite like the traditional Friday afternoon flight to Vegas. It’s perfect.

We got to the airport a little early, so we hung out at Grandaddy’s Bar, a Humphrey Terminal favorite. We’d just gotten another round as the gate agent came to announce that they were leaving early. We slammed our drinks and headed for the plane.

I will never be sure why Sun Country has Willie Wonka in their safety cards. Also, no SkyMall. What?

Right before takeoff, I looked up to see a large man in an amazing white wig grinning his way down the aisle. He was causing quite a stir, because it was Gary Spivey. The guy behind us yelled, “Hey Gary! Will I get lucky in Vegas?” Gary replied, “Only if you don’t gamble!”

We got to Vegas a little early, around 5pm, and took a cab to our hotel. We had a free place to stay at Polo Towers, courtesy of our landlord. This is the view from our balcony:

There was no bed in our room, and its location was not immediately evident. We finally realized there was a murphy bed integrated with a couch; it required removing all the cushions and lowering it from the wall. It took us so long to figure it out, I’m really glad we didn’t wait til we’d been drinking. We’d have ended up sleeping on the floor.

We had some time to kill, so we went over to one of our favorite bars at Planet Hollywood, called Yolos.

After a drink, we went back to our hotel to change into fancy clothes. Because I’d had managed to obtain some kind of foot injury in the previous week, to the point where I could barely walk and was on anti-inflammatories, we decided to take a cab rather than walk over to the monorail at Excalibur. I’m sure I looked awesome limping in a dress.

Our town car driver was fantastic. He told us about his favorite bars at Mandalay, and all about the great gambling at Hooters, interspersed with tirades about how much he hated his phone.

We went to Rumjungle for a cocktail before dinner, and were immediately in love. The place was huge and industrial-looking, and they had about 40 rums behind the bar. The bartender was rushed and sarcastic. The drinks were killer strong, and seemed to all be served in pint glasses.

We vowed to return later, and headed over to Fleur de Lys for our 9:30 dinner reservations. They ushered us into the bar, and the bartender made me some kind of delicious drink based on my vague specifications. It’s possible we were more than a little tipsy by then anyway. Then they led us to our table, and we ordered the tasting menu: vegetarian for myself, and the regular version for Matt.

It was nearly impossible to take photos in there, as it was dark and I didn’t want to use the flash. We mostly took them so we could remember how amazing it was, because it was honestly the best meal of my life. (Here are the rest of the photos from Fleur de Lys.)

I had six courses, and Matt had at least 8 or 9. Everything was amazing. He even got two dessert courses, and then we had after-dinner espresso while Matt was presented with a cookbook signed by Hubert Keller. We were so absolutely thrilled with that meal; it was worth every cent.

Dan and Kate, who had arrived the day before us, had just finished their show at New York New York, so we decided to go to eyecandy to wait for them. It’s the lounge in the middle of the casino floor, and had been recommended by the Bradstreet folks. There was a DJ and people dancing in the back, and a bunch of couches around the bar area. Dan and Kate joined us a bit later, and we hung out til Matt and I were ready to collapse. We finally grabbed a cab back to our hotel, and proceeded to do so.

saturday 9.19.2009

Posted in las vegas #5 on September 29th, 2009 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: birthday, nevada, vegas

We got up with plenty of time to make it to our pre-noon plans, which is always surprising in Vegas. We headed up the strip toward Caesar’s, figuring we’d have plenty of time to get there by 11:30, but we barely made it!

It’s possible I stopped to take a lot of pictures. At Caesar’s, we headed toward Mesa Grill to meet April and Kara for brunch! They’d driven up from San Diego the day before.

I’ve never been a huge fan of Bobby Flay just because of his personality on his Food Network shows, but I’m very glad we chose his restaurant for brunch. Everything was fantastic; I even looked up the recipe for the chilaquiles I’d had, and made them again at home with food from our garden.

After brunch, Matt and I headed off for another favorite Vegas tradition: hitting up the bar in the Forum Shops for a long island (it’s something like 47 shots, I think), and shopping. Though we went into my favorite store, Shanghai Tang, I managed to not need anything there. To make up for it, Matt got a really awesome shirt.

Post-shopping, it was time for more cheap gambling. We were in search of a blackjack table, but they were full across the street at O’Shea’s. We played video poker and blackjack instead, and enjoyed the amazing ambiance of the place. Classic rock and a beer pong arena? You can’t possibly go wrong.

There was a leprechaun outside yelling, too, but he disappeared before I could take his photo. Of course.

We set off in search of tables elsewhere, and eventually managed to find Pai Gow at the Flamingo. It was a $10 minimum, but it’s the kind of game where your hundred bucks can last a really long time. And if you get lucky, you’ll even end up winning:

After a couple hours of gambling, we decided we needed to find beverages. We tried to get to the bar at Margaritaville (for old times’ sake), but it was packed. Instead, we headed down to Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall to get us some dollar margaritas.

As I learned last time we were in Vegas, there’s a trick to the dollar margaritas: they fill the cup most of the way with overly sweet nonalcoholic mix, then pour a shot of Sauza on top. Drink the tequila off the top and throw out the rest of the drink. Who wouldn’t pay a buck for a big shot of tequila, anyway?

We decided it was probably time for some sports-betting, as it was something we were both very interested in, and had never done before. We walked over to Bally’s to get on the monorail, stopping to put a dollar in the giant slot machine. We won $10, cashed it out, and got our tickets.

We rode up to Harrah’s, and walked from there to the Venetian. It was hot… almost 100 degrees.

We had less luck playing $5 on Wheel of Fortune at the Venetian, but that was fine. We finally made our way into the Palazzo, and from there found the entrance to the sports book on a weird basement level. However, the sports book (called Legasse’s Stadium, after Emeril), was packed full. Something to do with a million college football games, of course. The girls at the counter said there would be a very long wait for a table, but we were welcome to pay a ridiculous cover charge for a VIP table. It amounted to having to spend about $100 total, which seemed unlikely for just the two of us.

We managed to find a table out on the patio and began perusing parlay cards. After 20 minutes or so, there was still no sign of a server. As we were starving by that point, we decided to get the hell out of there and find some food before we passed out. Sports could wait.

We crossed over to TI to check out a couple places that were on my potentially-awesome list. After walking around for way too long and considering just laying on the floor, we decided on Isla Mexican Kitchen. It was an excellent choice, and they had great vegetarian food. Also, who could go wrong with mas tequila*?

*Yes, that was a Sammy Hagar shoutout.

Revived, we started making our way back down the strip. We had plans to meet Dan and Kate later in the evening to celebrate Kate’s birthday, so we figured we’d head back to the hotel, change, and work our way towards Mandalay.

We rode the monorail with a bunch of people who were going to the fight at MGM. We had to wade through throngs of people near the MGM event center, but it was kind of fascinating to see. After changing, we made the somewhat unwise decision to walk to Hooters. It seemed really close (like everything in Vegas), but we soon discovered there was no direct route there. We had to circle the block our hotel was on, go down the back road behind MGM, and then got stuck trying to make our way past limos, buses, and security guards, all while sweating our asses off in the 90-degree (at night!) weather. We finally traversed a parking garage and found our way to Hooters. It took forever.

It took a long time to find a place to drink, get drinks, and decide what to do. However, the drinks cheered us up, as did the fact that the bartender comped them even though we went to the bar, because we were gambling (I think I put $5 in a video poker machine). We liked Hooters a lot better after that.

Dan texted to say they were done with dinner, so we headed towards Mandalay via the tram from Excalibur. Strangely, my limp was improving. I was on anti-inflammatories, but I’d expected Vegas to make my foot injury a lot worse. Obviously, it’s magical.

We met up with Dan, Kate, and a couple friends at Rumjungle. The $10 cover was surprisingly low for a really awesome club at 1:30am. I was really sad to not be able to dance, but it was great watching the dance floor. After their friends headed out (they had an early flight the next morning), I told Dan I didn’t think I’d be able to make it much longer. He did a small amount of arm-twisting, though, and we caved: to the strip club! We went out front, grabbed a cab, and headed downtown.

I should mention that we didn’t have a plan for the strip club at all; Dan just looked one up on his phone, checked reviews, and we were off. We chose well, too: the Girls of Glitter Gulch is legendary. Everyone knows the sign, at least.

There was a $20 cover, which included the first drink free. Our server, a stiff-but-friendly Russian lady named Dacha, led us to a round booth along the wall and took our orders. We watched the ladies dancing and occasionally had to say no to lap dance offers, but there was nothing pushy about it. Eventually, we all ended up spending time on sniffer’s row. I may be a little scarred from having cougar boobs in my face, though. I guess it was our fault for going up there just because the girl she was onstage with was really hot.

Somewhere between 4 and 5am, it was time to call it a night, so we shared a cab back to our hotels. The best part was when the driver just pulled over in front of the Monte Carlo, stopping traffic, and Matt and I had to jump out and run across the strip. Man, I love Vegas.

sunday 9.20.2009

Posted in las vegas #5 on September 29th, 2009 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: birthday, nevada, vegas

Sunday, we got up very late. Unsurprising, since we didn’t get to bed til after 5am. The surprising thing was that we weren’t terribly hung-over.

We walked over to Planet Hollywood, did some shopping at the ABC Store (it’s a tradition begun in Hawaii), then went over to Paris. We were waiting on Dan and Kate to have lunch, so we killed some time playing video poker there. I don’t remember the exact result, but I know at least one of us won. We were doing pretty well with the low-stakes gambling!

In Bally’s, we had to play the giant slot machine again. This time we won $10.

Dan texted to say they couldn’t make it, so Matt and I went to have lunch at Le Burger (“it means ‘the burger’!”). It was delicious, but neither of us was up for the Eiffel Tower of Power so early in the day. Plus you could only get beer in it. That’s just not great.

Instead, I decided to finally give in to my urge to buy a ridiculous souvenir glass at Paris. I’d been wanting one ever since the first time I went to Vegas, so it was about time. I got a margarita in a ceramic balloon!

Matt posing with the balloon

The balloon was a great idea until we got about halfway back to the hotel. It was maybe only half a mile, but it was ridiculously hot, we were tired, and I was well into my margarita. It got heavier and heavier, to the point where I was pretty sure it weighed 10 pounds. I survived, though!

We changed and went up to check out the rooftop pool. It wasn’t huge, but it was pretty much perfect.

We bobbed around til we were too cold to do so anymore, then headed downstairs to shower. Afterwards, we walked over to New York New York to get a pretzel to tide us over til dinner, because god knows when that would happen. We forget to eat regularly in Vegas, for some reason.

We had plans to meet Dan and Kate later on in the evening at the Stratosphere, so we decided to start working our way up that direction. We walked to the monorail at MGM, and rode all the way up to the convention center. Matt wanted to make a stop at the Peppermill, and without knowing exactly where it was, that seemed to be the closest stop.

Man, were we wrong. What felt like several miles later, we found our way into the Sahara. We still had no clue where the Peppermill was, so we figured we could go wander and find it. That usually ends really badly in Vegas, of course.

We did end up walking forever, but we managed to find the Peppermill past Circus Circus and the Riviera. Whatever you do, don’t get off the monorail at the convention center; there’s a stop right at the Sahara!

You know what? The long walk was absolutely worth it. Look at this place:

That’s a fountain with FIRE in the middle.

That’s Matt looking like this was one of the best days of his life.

We had a couple drinks there at the most gloriously oldschool bar in town, and spent time talking to the awesome bartender about sports. We’d probably have stayed all night (moving over to the Perkins-esque side of the place when we needed to eat), but responsibility called. We walked up to the Riviera and got a cab to the Stratosphere, where we found Dan and Kate playing video poker.

They were already totally worn out (understandably, considering the previous day), so we decided to pass on the rides on top of the Stratosphere. We played video poker with them for a while, and then went to find food when they headed back to their hotel. We decided on the tacky 50s-style diner nearby, because I’d eaten there before and knew they had vegetarian food. I had a salad, and I swear it was the best salad of my life. Or I may just have been hungry.

Matt won a bunch more money playing penny slots while waiting for me in the bathroom. Since our streak of luck was obviously continuing, we decided to head back down to the Sahara. Not only would we probably find cheap tables there, but we’d likely win in other ways: we’d seen a sign advertising $1 shots with a souvenir glass. SOLD.

Oh, and we stopped at the sex toy store along the way. It was sadly disappointing!

We had some delicious dollar shots, then went to find a blackjack table. That’s when my lucky streak ended, but that’s not surprising. I know how to play blackjack correctly, but I just haven’t been getting cards lately. That’s fine; it’ll turn around at some point!

After losing at blackjack, we went to play pai gow. That went better for us, or we were at least losing a lot more slowly. We wanted to stay and play longer, but we were too aware of the 10am checkout at our hotel. We decided to call it a night, and headed that way.

monday 9.21.2009

Posted in las vegas #5 on September 29th, 2009 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: birthday, nevada, vegas

We got up bright and early Monday morning, only because we had to check out by 10. Nobody should have to see Las Vegas that early in the day.

We took our usual trek through Planet Hollywood and over to Paris, stopping for our traditional delicious European brunch at the cafe there. Matt had a bacon roll, and I had a cranberry roll with a cheese and fruit plate. We refilled our DIY iced coffees, and headed over to the sports book at Bally’s. There, we placed prop bets on Monday Night Football, and hopped on the monorail back to the Flamingo.

We stopped in at Sin City Brewing to pick up another shotglass (it’s one of our favorites), and then went off in search of a pai gow table. After passing time with video poker for a while, we found a couple of seats. Matt wasn’t having great luck, so he went to play blackjack instead.

We’d made plans to meet up with Dan and Kate before airport-time, so we headed back down toward MGM around noon. We stopped to get some much-needed pizza for lunch, then crossed over to Hooters to find them. We all wanted to take advantage of the much-advertised free $100 in slot play just for joining the players’ club.

The promotional slot machines were a joke, of course, but it was entertainment. We also got $5 free on the regular slots, so we took that over to the penny machines. Within a few minutes, I was up $20. I cashed out, and we went to play some blackjack instead.

Our luck had really turned at that point… the dealer had an awesome run and wiped almost all of us at the table out in fairly short order. Such is the way of Vegas.

Dan and Kate left to get their bags and go to the airport extremely early, so Matt and I decided to go over to a bar we’d heard about at the Bellagio. After much walking and heat and having to backtrack because the street was closed, we gave up on the plan and went to New York New York instead. One of the items on my to-do list was to have a yard, and we hadn’t done that yet. Plus we visit Gonzalez Y Gonzalez every time we’re there!

We had yards, and got talking to the bartender, who was clearly a terrible influence. That’s why that plastic dinosaur cup held a giant Patron shot. And I still have it, because why would you not keep that glass?

After sitting there for a while watching Nascar on ESPN, it suddenly seemed like a great idea to go make another bet. Matt took Mark Martin to win the Nascar season (the cup? I think?) because the TV told us to. Hey, it could still pan out! Then we crossed the street to Fatburger, where he went in to order while I stood outside with the drinks. I have a bunch of photos of the people sitting in front of Walgreens, and I really have no idea why.

We found a table at the Hawaiian Marketplace. A cover band was playing the greatest hits of the 70s through today; we ate and giggled at the incredible awesomeness of Vegas while watching tourists dance. They played ‘All Summer Long’ by Kid Rock (it’s obligatory), and then we swing-danced to Stevie Ray Vaughan. Pretty much the perfect way to end that particular trip to Vegas.

We walked over to Polo Towers, got our bags and a cab, and were airport-bound. There, we found Dan and Kate napping at the gate, and our plane all ready to go.

Til next time, Las Vegas! I’m sure we’ll be back soon.

sat 6.7.2003 (part one)

Posted in miami for my birthday on June 10th, 2003 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: beach, birthday, charlotte, florida, miami, north carolina, ocean, south beach, visiting friends

Saturday afternoon, the day before my 30th birthday, Heather and I dragged our sleep-deprived asses to the airport and got on a plane to Charlotte, North Carolina.

No, come back! It gets better, I swear.

Our already late-night flight was delayed due to weather, so we spent four hours in Charlotte, which was exactly four more hours than we wanted to be there. I whined and fidgeted and complained until Heather told me to go away so she could read. I can say with assurance that I have seen every square inch of the Charlotte-Douglas International Airport, from the cigar-store Indian with giant man-breasts to the Stock Car Cafe, and every women’s room and Starbucks in between. It’s not as big an achievement as it sounds.

Finally, our plane arrived and dumped its load of crotchety old people on their way back from Vegas into the airport, many of whom got back on the flight to Miami. I spent the next two hours hearing every single detail of one such woman’s worst vacation ever. Because it was my birthday, I decided to forgo smacking her, but I’ll admit that I did consider it once or twice.

We got to Miami at 2:15am, and Alex was there waiting at the gate. He drove us to the hotel, then showed us around South Beach, which was mobbed even in the middle of the night. I ate black beans and rice and fried plantains at a little Cuban restaurant at 4am, and laughed my ass off at the old waiter, who had it out for Heather. Alex introduced me to Cuban coffee (the cortadito in particular), which was probably a huge mistake on his part, as I’ve been jonesing for it ever since. After dinner, we went to the beach, because my plan was to watch the sun rise over the ocean. I wanted my own perfect 30th birthday moment. And that’s exactly what I got.

sun 6.8.2003 (part two)

Posted in miami for my birthday on June 10th, 2003 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: beach, birthday, florida, miami, ocean, south beach, tattoo, visiting friends

We walked back to the hotel. Alex, who had finished a 12-hour shift at 8pm that day, headed directly to work for another 12-hour shift. Heather and I went upstairs and slept for two hours, then headed to brunch. I ate the best gardenburger in the universe. Or half of it. The thing about Miami is, it’s hot. No, you don’t understand: it’s so fucking hot. And humid. You go outside and your clothes are immediately damp, and they never, ever dry as long as you stay outdoors. So you go inside, thinking you can dry off and cool down, but that’s a huge mistake. Everyone has the air conditioning on full-blast all the time, so the second you walk in, you become cold and clammy, and every passage between inside and out is a brush with pneumonia and your potential death. So, anyway. The other thing about the heat? You don’t want to eat. You want to drink iced coffee and sugar-free smoothies all day. Or maybe that’s just me.

The other thing about Miami, or South Beach in particular, is that everyone is beautiful. Even the ugly people. The women wear outfits so insubstantial they’re pointless. Everyone is in perfect shape, only you get the feeling it has nothing to do with being healthy, just looking good. So when you’re a pasty white Minnesotan wearing wrinkly, perpetually-damp clothing and running shoes on the high-fashion streets of South Beach, you might as well be something that escaped from the zoo.

After eating and wandering and gawking and shopping, I did the next logical thing: I got a tattoo.

I don’t know, it just seems like the right thing to do when you’re newly 30, recently liberated from regular employment, and on a 36-hour last-minute trip to a place with palm trees. Here’s the result:

With my arm wrapped fashionably in blue saran wrap and masking tape, we headed up to Lincoln Road, home of no less than one billion good restaurants and some really incredible people-watching at outdoor tables.

We had a late lunch, or half of lunch. By 4pm, the heat and humidity had reached levels previously unknown to Midwesterners. As I stood up from the table, I discovered that my entire right pants leg was wet from sitting with my legs crossed. We walked back to the hotel to rest and dry off. Heather decided to take a nap, but I was too deep in lack-of-sleep (at that point, I had slept 7 hours in the past 72) and caffeine consumption to even be able to sit down. I let my clothes dry for ten minutes, then put them back on, starting to regret my decision to only wear one outfit all weekend, because the only thing worse than hot, damp, clingy clothes is cold, damp, clingy clothes.

I walked over to check out the beach during the daytime, got more iced coffee, and headed up Ocean Drive. It had started to rain, but it’s not like it made any difference in the humidity. I wandered through dinner crowds at even more nice restaurants, watched girls dancing on tables in a club, managed to limit myself to just looking in the cute shops, stood and pondered the Versace mansion, and walked. And here’s observation #3 about Miami: people don’t walk there. They stroll. They amble. They sometimes even sashay. But they don’t walk. That, coupled with narrow, crowded sidewalks, is enough to drive a girl who’s always in a rush absolutely crazy.

I went back to the hotel in time for Alex’s return. He had come over directly from work, not having slept in almost two days. He took us to dinner at a place in Coconut Grove, where we shared a bunch of food and laughed like idiots. Afterwards, he drove us back to South Beach and dropped us off at the hotel, where it was finally time to sleep.

mon 6.9.2003 (part three)

Posted in miami for my birthday on June 10th, 2003 by jenni | No Comments »
Tags: birthday, florida, miami, visiting friends

Monday morning, I was awakened at 6am by Heather banging on the phone, trying to get it to stop ringing for our wakeup call. I finally gave in and put on a different shirt. We packed up, checked out, and got a taxi to the airport. I was a little disappointed that we were flying something as bland as US Air, considering the many colorful alternatives offered in Miami, most of which I never knew existed, stuff like ‘Jamaica, Mon’, ‘¡Airplanes Ole!’, ‘Air Ahoy’. We stopped for coffee:

Me: Do you have a coffee menu?
Impatient Snack Bar Lady: American coffee.
Me: Can I get a cappuccino?
ISBL: Latte.
Me: Ok, I’ll have a skim latte.
ISBL (to ISBL 2): Café con leche.

At this point, my brain slowly ground to a realization: they had Cuban coffee, too. And to switch my order at that point would undoubtedly have caused an early-morning airport snack bar disruption of monumental proportions. I accepted my un-skim latte and skulked off to the gate. We sat, I wandered, we sat some more. We got on the plane and sat. We got off the plane in Charlotte, and had lunch in the crappy, smoky ‘Cheers’-themed bar, because, unbelievably, all the other restaurant options were worse.

On the flight back to Minneapolis, I was irritated by every single person in the surrounding seats. This was mostly due to the exposed-nerve sensation caused by sleep deprivation, having to watch the US Airways videos for the fourth time in 36 hours, and the fact that the stale air dried my contacts, making me feel bug-eyed and fuzzy. The couple in the seats in front of us were eating a homemade lunch, pausing to make out every five minutes. The flight attendants (sporting festive-looking patriotic pocket bunting) were rolling the beverage cart up and down the aisle, bumping violently into the seats. Heather and I watched the first-class passengers delving into their cornucopia of gourmet snacks, then sadly accepted our dusty Snyder’s of Hanover Snaps (fat free for extra dryness!) and cups of ice.

The old women across the aisle were a portrait of courage in the face of adversity, the kind of people whose every daily activity is a struggle against their natural ineptitude. Dorothy #1 rushed on the plane in a huff right before takeoff, loudly announcing, ‘Don’t ever, ever buy e-tickets!’ As for Dorothy #2, we were over Ohio by the time she managed to buckle her seatbelt. She surrendered her Snyder’s of Hanover Snaps (fat free!) to Dorothy #1, preferring to feast on fistfuls of pills from a giant plastic organizer instead, which I had no doubt she would still be struggling with when we landed in Minneapolis.

We decided that the pilot was the same guy who flew us from Miami, since he had the same taxi-ing style: speeding around the tarmac, taking corners so fast I was surprised the wingtips weren’t touching the ground. His landings were the only time I’ve ever experienced airplane whiplash; we bounced and nearly screeched to a halt, as if the runway was only 50 feet long. He flew over the heartland of America, executing 90 degree turns and near-barrel rolls. I wasn’t sure why, but I figured it was to give us all a really good view of the cornfields we’d soon be plummeting into. Thankfully, for my 30th birthday, death decided to pass me by. Just this once.