I got up at 7 and felt like maybe I had already adjusted to the time change. Stephanie and her sunburn (which was substantial enough to constitute another entity) got up and we headed off down “Highway” 19 (highways in Hawaii are something entirely different than in the rest of the universe. They could conceivably term a cattle track a highway, from what I saw there.) We were in search of food, and soon discovered nothing was open, not even the coffeeshops. The whole town of Honaunau was without power. We finally found a grocery store in Oceanview, and bought fruit and snacks. In the midst of the lava-dust parking lot, they were hosting some kind of weird outdoor flea market thing, with fruits I’d never seen before.

old lava flows

The Kona Coast is all trees, ferns, flowers, and coffee farms. About 40 miles to the south, the lava fields begin. The first time I saw them, I wondered why all the earth was plowed up like that. It looked like a freshly-tilled field in Wisconsin, only with scrubby plants. The colors range from brown to grey to black. I thought it was what it must look like on the moon.

We drove through a cute little town with a classic car parade and a giant sea turtle painted on the roof of the main building, very close to the southernmost point in the US. We stopped to see a black-sand beach along the south coast of the Big Island; it was incredible. The sand is very gravelly and hard to walk on until you’re close to the water, and then it’s fine and powdery and warm from the sun. We climbed over lava flows and watched black and red crabs scrabbling over the rocks. I was really smart and wore flip-flops to do this. Also, we very quickly discovered that one cannot spend a single moment outside in Hawaii without sunscreen. Within 10 minutes, I could feel my nose burning.

We got to Volcanoes National Park, made the obligatory stop at the visitors’ center to pee and see if the rangers were hot, then set off for some hiking. We saw steam vents, which made walking around in the heat extremely unpleasant, and then the sulfur vents like one sees at Yellowstone.

steam vent

sulfur banks

kilauea crater

offerings to pele

We saw the crater at a couple different overlooks, then spent time walking around the gravelly lava rock. I was fascinated by these piles of rocks I saw everywhere; at first I thought they were trail markers, but there were way too many. I still can’t figure out what they were about, but I fell in love with them.

We hiked up Devastation Trail to the other big crater, then toured the Thurston lava tube. The lava tube portion of the park was the first real rain-foresty environment I’d ever seen in my life. It was amazing.

devastation trail

kali-kilauea crater

thurston lava tube

By 2pm, we were exhausted from the hiking and not having much to eat. We decided to drive to Hilo, which was the opposite direction from our hotel, and the other “big” city on the island. It was probably the lack of food that made us extremely cranky, but we were immensely pissed off at Hilo. We couldn’t find the downtown. We could only locate fast food and Wal-Mart and a crappy mall. We drove in circles until finally the guidebook led us to the Hilo Bay Cafe, one I had originally chosen.

The food was excellent, and we were both reminded of Real Food Daily in L.A. at the exact same time. Our faith in Hilo was restored.

We asked our server girl if it would be faster to take the loop around the top of the island from Hilo back to Kona, becase it seemed it might be quicker that way (technically, there’s the Saddle Road that cuts across the middle of the island, but apparently it’s only passable half the time). She said it was a nicer drive to go that way, so we did. On the way out, we discovered the real downtown Hilo, and our faith was doubly-restored. It wasn’t the industrial, boring city I had read about at all. It had a cute little downtown, an awesome farmer’s market, and a natural foods store where I stocked up on healthy treats like a crazy person.

Eleven miles north of Hilo, we turned off to see Akaka Falls. The route led us through a tiny town of maybe six buildings, with a very cute cafe where we stopped for coffee. We drove up the hill through bamboo farms, then hiked in to Kahuna Falls, then Akaka Falls.

akaka falls

This was even more rainforest than it had been at the national park. I couldn’t get over it. Monstrous trees, ferns, and dangling vines everywhere. It was so humid it was painful to breathe. It had its own little local rainshower.

It seemed as if there were hundreds of birds singing in the trees, but I couldn’t get a glimpse of them at all. It was beautiful.

We drove up the coast over valleys, each with their own waterfall. Near Waimea, we took the exit and drove up to see the Waipio Valley, along the north coast. The travel guide warned us three times to not drive Captain Cook down into the valley, as he would likely never come out. Just the walk to the overlook was so steep I was worried about falling down the hill. We got to see the sun starting to set over the ocean.

waipio valley

We drove back to Kailua in the dark, which pretty much sucks on those Hawaiian “highways”. We decided to give in to the ridiculous touristy aura of the tiny main drag in Kona, which was all bars and restaurants on second-floor decks over ABC Stores and the like. We went to Lulu’s, because the book said they were offbeat and their servers had horrible attitudes; it screamed Luce to me. Of course, no place can ever be Luce but the real thing. The main lesson of the night was do not make eye contact with drunk guys at any cost!

But the nachos were awesome.

We arose mas early, got coffee, and headed back to Volcanoes National Park. Stephanie made the drive in about 2 hours, which is remarkable; it’s only 90 miles, but then it’s also Hawaii. We took Chain of Craters Road 20 miles down to the southern coast, where Kilauea is still actively producing lava.

On the way, I called the 800 number to get the lava update. They tell you where red lava was last sighted in the park, and give you about a million safety precautions. You drive down to the ranger station at the end of the road (it used to be a much longer road until it was buried in lava), you hike in a half-mile, and then you start climbing. They tell you to come fully prepared for a hardcore hike, and not to even think about it if you’re any kind of pussy.

The park ranger at the station explained to us where the lava was sighted: they had four beacons set up, three following the coast to mark the do-not-cross-or-fall-in-the-ocean-and-die line, and then the fourth inland near the furthest reaches of the safety zone. He said the lava could be found somewhere around the 3rd and 4th beacons, somewhat inland. We set off on the hike.

I’m having a very hard time explaining the hike through the lava field. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before, and nothing I ever expected to see in my lifetime. It was the most surreal, barren, and beautiful landscape. It makes me cry to think about it now; it was completely unbelievable.

lava spilling into the pacific

As we climbed lava hills along the coast, we could see the steam plume rising from the ocean. We had been warned that the vapor from the plume contained hydrochloric acid and bits of lava glass. To get out to the fourth beacon, however, you kind of have to spend some time near the plume. It made me nervous.

The route out to the first beacon was marked with little glow-in-the-dark tabs to lead the way. People hike the route at night, because it’s easier to see the red lava. (Having done that hike during the day, I think anyone who does it at night is either insane or suicidal.) Once you get there, you’re on your own… you know the general direction of the beacon, but it’s way too far away to see it. You just walk and hope to find it. We managed to find 2, then completely missed 3 somewhere near the coast. As we were about to collapse from fear of being lost in the lava field, we found 4, and took triumphant photos with it (involving rock hands, as usual).

pahoehoe

I was pretty worried at that point about the steam plume. I licked my lips and had the most horrible taste in my mouth. In addition, the lava out that far was a lot less stable. There were big collapsed holes where gas bubbles had burst. I’d walk over areas that were much, much hotter than the rest. We knew there had to be fresh stuff nearby, but didn’t know how much longer we should be out there. Finally, we saw a couple walking back from much farther out; they said they saw some red rocks about 45 minutes away, but no flowing lava or anything. We didn’t want to die and were running low on water, so we decided to head back. It was a hell of a long hike, and it was hot.

fresh lava – still glass

Halfway back to the ranger station, Stephanie slipped and slid down onto a rock. Well, lava being like glass, it did some damage. She had blood running down the back of her leg like crazy. We did our best to clean it up with Kleenex, and she had to limp the last couple miles back to the ranger station. By the time we got there, we were out of water, covered in this strange volcano dust probably consisting mostly of acid, and exhausted.

We went to Volcano Village and found nothing of use, so we drove into Hilo for supplies to patch her up. We then drove back around the top of the island (which is now known as the ‘fast route’), and arrived in the Kona area around six.

We drove south 20 miles or so to the national historic park of Puuhonua o Honaunau. It had been a sacred site and place of refuge in the 16th century for warriors and people who had violated kapu (taboo). [Note: kapu quickly became one of our favorite words of all time.]

the big’un was about 6″ long.

We arrived at the perfect time. The sun was starting to set, and the place was beautiful and serene. It was a salt-and-pepper sand beach around an inlet, with ceremonial huts and tiki idols. We climbed on the lava rock amongst tidepools and and looked for sea turtles.

puuhonua o honaunau

We both spent time wandering around by ourselves, and I felt like it was one of the most perfect, calming places I’d ever been. I took almost 40 photos there, just trying to capture it.

We stood with the tiki statues at the mouth of the little inlet and watched the sun disappear into the ocean. It’s a place and time I’ll never forget.

After dark, we drove back to Kona Town and the touristy strip again for dinner. This time it was enchiladas at a Mexican place. I realized as I was sitting there overlooking the street that I had become completely accustomed to that constantly-sticky feeling one gets from excessive heat and humidity. It’s something that drives me crazy at home, but in Hawaii it just seemed to fit.

We stopped for picnic fare at Down To Earth and headed up the side of Haleakala. The route between Kahului and the volcano takes you through upcountry Maui, which is another term for ‘Wyoming’. It’s truly bizarre to see cactus and cattle farms in the middle of a tropical island.

It’s a 25-mile drive up the side of the mountain, and we encountered several bike tours coming down. People pack in vans and shuttle to the top of the volcano to see the sunrise, then get outfitted with bicycles and ride down. Seeing those guides, I seriously considered the possibility of moving there and taking up that career. Damn web development for being so lucrative.

silversword

We drove up to the summit, at over 10,000 feet. It took me a few minutes to lose the altitude-dizziness. From the top, you can see 360 degrees around the whole island; the West Maui mountains, the valley in the middle, Lanai, Molokai, Molokini, and even the Big Island far off in the distance. I was cold in my hoodie and capris, but figured I’d warm up while hiking.

We saw the extremely rare silversword plant, which can take up to 50 years to bloom, and is only found on Hawaii. The leaves are truly silver. We were glad to see a single plant in full bloom.

haleakala

We drove down a little ways to the vistor center and trailhead. Both of our travel guides had advised us to avoid the Sliding Sands Trail, but we’re not always great at resisting a challenge.

sliding sands trail

One can take the trail all the way across the park; it’s a two-day hike, so most people pack camping equipment. We just wanted to go down into the crater, so we brought our food and tons of water (having learned from the last volcanic adventure). We had warm clothes and even a first-aid kit.

The first part of the trail, we had to pick our way around horse poop, so the beginning of the hike was alarmingly stinky. Descending into the crater, the trail was fine volcanic gravel and dust, just slightly less difficult than walking on sand. I had the sense that if I stepped off the trail, I would go sliding down the steep hill into a crater and never be seen again.

The thing I like about this kind of adventure (i.e. the kind of thing not everyone in the world gets to experience) is how other people act when you encounter them. Everyone says hi. Everyone is friendly. Everyone wants to talk about what they’ve seen just a mile down the path, or to encourage you with ‘you’re almost there!’ When a pack of horse-riders passed going uphill, every single person greeted us. It’s something you don’t see very often, which is sad.

cheaters!

We walked and walked and sometimes slid our way down the trail, constantly aware that the climb back up was infinitely harder, and supposed to take twice as long. After about three miles, we decided we should probably start heading back. We only had so much water. As we decreased in altitude, it had warmed up somewhat.

above the clouds

The climb back up was brutal. I discovered that if I walked at my usual hiking pace, I’d be painfully out of breath within a matter of 20 paces. It was a combination of the altitude, the steepness of the climb, and the fact that it was like walking on sand. I finally figured out that if I climbed really slowly, at a very constant pace, I could focus on keeping my breathing regular and not feel like I was about to have a stroke.

It’s a lot easier for me to keep moving constantly than stop and rest at regular intervals, so I’d do as long a walk as I could manage, then stop and wait. I noticed that even the people who appeared to be really seasoned hikers, totally tricked out with all the right gear and walking poles, were still moving at a snail’s pace up the mountain. That made me feel a lot better about the fitness I was starting to question. It was one of the most physically demanding things I’d ever done, second only to the Breast Cancer 3Day.

more of those stone-stacks

It was fascinating to see the differences between Haleakala and Kilauea. We had walked on new lava — not just new in terms of geologic time, but fresh lava, still cooling. The terrain around Haleakala was completely different, having had eons to weather. Half of the Big Island still looks very much volcanic, with little vegetation, and huge fields of lava. Everything except the actual crater is fairly overgrown on Maui, and the lava flows in the ocean are eroded into sharp rocks forming tidepools along the shore.

no spectre of the brocken

We were pleasantly surprised to actually survive that hike. We dragged ourselves back to the parking lot, and changed into more comfortable, not-lava-filled shoes at the car. I squatted to stretch my thighs, pulling my arms up behind me, and promptly got a massive cramp between my collarbones, something I’ve never had the joy of experiencing before. We washed volcano dust off our faces and arms in the bathroom, then drove back down the mountain to the another overlook.

The Leleiwi Overlook is one of three places on the planet (the others are in Scotland and Germany) where the Spectre of the Brocken can sometimes be witnessed. If the clouds roll into the crater valley close to sunset, you can sometimes see your gigantic shadow on them, surrounded by a rainbow.

i’m convinced nene are a myth.

We drove back down to Kahului, and went to check out Queen Kaahumanu Center, the big mall that was described in the book as looking like something out of Star Wars. We had trouble with the name, so we just called it Queen Kamehameha Center. Stephanie had a fascination with Hawaiian Macy’s; I expressed my feelings by suddenly having an overwhelming need to vomit, presumably from having eating vegetable chips an hour before. I’ve never rushed through a store to the bathrooms so quickly. That was some excitement I surely didn’t need.

i take this photo on every vacation. unsexy hiking hair.

The mall was, well, eh. It did have a cool futuristic canopy-thing, but the stores were traditional and, on reflection, I believe it was absolutely lacking in ABC Stores, which explains a lot. It didn’t have any decent restaurants, either, so we came up with another plan: we’d go back to Lahaina. We’d been joking constantly about Cheeseburger in Paradise since we’d first seen it, because I assumed from the name that it was another Jimmy Buffett restaurant like Margaritaville, which fills me with rage for no good reason except for the whole parrothead thing. But we knew they had two kinds of gardenburger there, and some goofy touristy entertainment on that order is always amusing. (Later we found out it had nothing to do with Jimmy Buffett at all except for the name. Whew.)

the a-frame hotel

We stopped at the hotel to shower first, because we were nasty. I didn’t even realize how filthy I was until I scrubbed and scrubbed and still managed to get black dirt all over the towel when I dried off. There was volcano dust in our eyes, ears, and noses. Yuck.

For the big Cheeseburger moment, I decided to wear a skirt. This probably amuses only me, but it was funny. We drove to Lahaina and waited in line outside along the ocean for half an hour, eavesdropping on the very very annoying east-coast family, praying we wouldn’t have to sit near them. We ended up seated at a shared table between a group of four who did a lot of staring but not talking, and a couple who talked a lot.

They were from Philadelphia, and were supposed to have arrived in Maui two days before, but had instead gotten in the previous night. They told us the horror story of their flight: layover in New York, layover in Texas, emergency landing for a sick passenger in Phoenix, long refueling, then finally reaching Maui. The girl told us she was terrified of flying, and actually screamed when they encountered turbulence. All of a sudden, I didn’t mind our hour-long delay at all. (Not that it made me hate Northwest Airlines any less).

We had dinner and talked to them for a long time afterward. On the way back to Kahului, we stopped at the overlook to see the stars. They were unbelievable. We could clearly see the Milky Way, and were able to pick out constellations we wouldn’t see that time of year in the north. I saw two shooting stars, three planets, and some airplanes I tried to convince Stephanie were really slow-moving comets. We went back to the hotel, packed our bags, and I showered again to remove the rest of Haleakala from my hair.