Jenni

We got up at 9 on Saturday morning, had an equally great breakfast on our patio again, then walked into Hamilton to go to the Gosling’s liquor store. We wanted some beer to take to the beach, and to find out what unfamiliar rums they might want to sell us. The guy there told us that since we were flying out, we would have to buy duty-free at the airport, which was fine with us. They had regular and duty-free prices listed for everything, and the difference was huge. We decided to just pick up some Scrumpies for the beach.

We stopped at a couple other souvenir shops on Front Street (knowing it might be our last chance, since they’d be closed later), then headed back to the hotel to get the beach shuttle.

We ended up riding there with a group of women from New Jersey, who were pretty entertaining. We told them the story of how we got there, and they were all very excited about it. When the driver found out we were from Minnesota, he started exclaiming about the Twins, and told us how he was one a very good minor league ballplayer in the U.S. (he lives part-time in New York). He told us he’d be back to pick us up at the beach at 3:30, and we told him we may or may not take the bus back earlier, so he shouldn’t wait on our behalf.

Elbow Beach was gorgeous. Only slightly less gorgeous than Horseshoe Bay, which had cemented itself in my mind as my favorite.

We walked down to the Australian guy with chairs and umbrellas (we named him Crocodile Dundee, of course) and rented a couple. We sat and enjoyed a couple of Scrumpy Jacks, and marveled at how very hard our lives were.

We went to swim for a while, and Matt practiced his wave-punching. I couldn’t believe how clear the water was there.

We went to hang out in our chairs for a while and have another Scrumpy. There weren’t many people on the beach, but watching them was still pretty entertaining. A bit later, we went to go snorkel.

There are a couple reefs that are really near the beach, and there were way more fish there than I expected. Smiley fish was my favorite:

Once our backs were sufficiently sunburnt (we’re terrible with sunscreen) and we were starting to get hungry, we walked over to the Elbow Beach resort next door. Nobody seemed to mind that we were over there using their bathrooms, showers, and changing stalls, which was awesome. While I was changing, a guy working there asked Matt how his day was going. He said it was excellent, and the guy told him his wasn’t because Amy Winehouse died. Then he walked away, leaving Matt to wonder if that randomness was actually true.

They were preparing for a wedding reception at the downstairs bar, so we went upstairs for a rum swizzle and appetizer. They were setting up tables on the lawn there, too. I don’t even want to imagine what a wedding at the Mandarin Oriental in Bermuda must have cost.

We headed back up toward the South Road to the bus stop, wishing we’d taken the more direct route from the beach: the climb through the resort was brutal. We were very grateful, once again, for the air conditioning on the bus. We rode back to Front Street, stopped to shop at the soccer store, and then walked up to the grocery store we’d seen near the bus station. A guy was getting out of his car, and told us he was out working on his tan (he was really dark-skinned). We laughed and said we were working on burning, so he told us the solution to that was to keep moving, kind of like a rotisserie. Awesome.

Our main goal at the store was something I knew I would have to find on the island: one of my favorite snacks, Go Ahead. It’s a fruit-filled cracker made by McVities in England, and as much as I’ve searched for them, I’ve only ever found them on previously-British islands: the Bahamas and Barbados. Not only did they have them at the grocery store, but they had a NEW FLAVOR. I grabbed six packs of them to bring home. We got a couple other items for the walk, and some ibuprofin for Matt’s ankle, and headed back to the hotel, hauling a big bag of souvenirs and another big bag of wet towels and bathing suits in the oppressive humidity. I don’t think it’s possible to stay hydrated enough there. (Sometimes you have to rely on Scrumpy Jack, too.)

We dropped everything off at the hotel, cleaned ourselves up, and headed right back into Hamilton to the bus station. We were going up to St George, which is known as ‘the oldest continually-inhabited town in the New World’. And also a UNESCO World Heritage site, which makes me nerd out a lot.

The bus ride was supposed to take 50 minutes, but we got there in half an hour. We hopped off in town, and got our wander on.

I was annoyed that I couldn’t get a good picture of the state house (the most-photographed building in Bermuda), because there was a truck parked right in front of it!

We also found Sir George Somers’ heart. Yep.

We walked up the hill to see the Unfinished Church, and managed to get ourselves completely drenched in sweat again. From there, we went back down into town and out to Ordnance Island to see the Deliverance.

There were a bunch of kids jumping from the bridge, and an old guy coming out to yell at them occasionally. Also, a ton of cars would cross the bridge, make a U-turn, and head back into town. Strange.

We had a list of a few restaurants/bars we wanted to see in St George, so we went to the most famous (and nearest) first: the White Horse Pub. It was fairly early, so there were only a few groups eating out on the patio. We got a pitcher of rum swizzles, and Matt got an entree that had wahoo, snapper, and rockfish. I went with one of the few vegetarian options: a cheese pizza (I wasn’t sad about that… I really wanted pizza). The place didn’t seem to have much going on and the service wasn’t great, either (I’m sure it’s probably way better late at night), so we formulated to plan to conduct a St George’s pub crawl that would include Blackbeard’s (at a nearby resort), Tavern on the Sea, and Wahoo Bistro (the only other bar we’d seen there… the other two we had read about).

All the tables at Wahoo Bistro were full, so we grabbed the two seats left at the three-seat bar. The guy next to us introduced himself as Ian, and also introduced the bartender, Geezer, a crusty, awesome old French guy. We ordered drinks and got to talking to Ian about how awesome Bermuda was. He was British, but had been living in St George on work visas for quite a while. He said he worked as a tailor two doors down, and had only stopped in to talk to Geezer about a suit. His bag of groceries was sitting on the floor of the bar.

Ian was awesome. We talked all about where we’d gone in Bermuda, what we should come back to see, the Cup Match, and other places we’d traveled. Then we moved on to American politics, traveling the US, and finally covered the fact that Amy Winehouse had, in fact, died.

While we were talking, Ian had Geezer make us ‘the best rum swizzles in Bermuda’. We realized why that was when Matt noticed that his was no normal bottle of Gosling’s, it was overproof. They were fantastic, too. Oh, and Ian bought us the round.

We told him we were planning to go up to the bar at Blackbeard’s next, and asked how far away it was. He was a few beers in at that point, so his directions (drawn with his finger on the bar) were somewhat confusing. He finally told us he would take us out and point us in the right direction. We thanked Geezer and headed off down the street with Ian. We turned on the same street we’d taken to the Unfinished Church, and he pointed us up that way and repeated the directions. (The main thing we got from it was ‘walk through the golf course, and DON’T TURN LEFT.’) We thanked him, and he wished us well and kissed me on the cheek. I almost died of cute.

We climbed back up the huge hill past the Unfinished Church, and found the road through the golf course. We then went down the hill on the other side, and just like Ian had said, we found Tobacco Bay. It was amazing.

From there we followed the narrow road past some buildings that appeared to be abandoned, and finally saw our destination on top of a hill near the fort. As we approached, we could hear actual awesome hiphop, for the first time on our trip. It sounded like they were having a hell of a party.

We climbed up yet another hill to Blackbeard’s, and walked around the back where the music was blaring. Something seemed kind of off, though, and I noticed the sign just as a British guy approached us to tell us we’d wandered into a private party. WHAT THE HELL.

There was nothing else nearby, so we had no option but to walk the mile or so back to St George. Before heading back, though, we climbed a hill on the golf course and watched the sunset. We also watched a cat as he climbed into a sand trap, scratched around, and pooped. Hilarious.

We climbed back up the hill to St George’s and headed to the Tavern on the Sea. We got a table on the patio, and ordered a couple of Dark and Stormys. After a couple of drinks, it was getting close to time for the last couple of buses to Hamilton, so we walked up to the bus stop. The main drag was crazy all of a sudden… there was a constant stream of cars and scooters going back and forth, loud music, and people parking all over the place to go into the carryout restaurant across the street.

The bus arrived and we were on our way back to Hamilton. There weren’t many people riding, but the crowd was generally louder and more entertaining than previous rides… it was Saturday night. We approached Flatt’s Village (about halfway to Hamilton) and suddenly there was a huge line of traffic ahead of us. We saw police cars, and a bunch of cars in front of us started making u-turns and going back the other way. That wasn’t really an option for the bus, obviously.

Apparently there had been an accident on the road ahead of us, and the whole thing was blocked. Once we got nearer to the site, the police started directing cars off onto a side road to go around. The road appeared to be a beach access driveway, and was mostly sand. The bus couldn’t fit on that, either, so we were stuck waiting.

We sat there for a long time, and finally the driver got out and walked up the road to see what was up. The guys in the back of the bus were trying to convince us that the bus could totally turn around (there was no way). The driver came back and we sat, watching cops walking around and cars passing on the beach road. They were only going the one direction, though, so everyone coming the other direction was probably just sitting around, too. Finally the amusing dudes in the back said they were giving up and going to walk, so they hopped off the bus and headed up the road. Matt said, “we’re going to be seeing them again soon.”

After at least half an hour, the cops came up and started waving the bus forward. We passed a smashed-up van being loaded onto a tow truck, and the line of traffic waiting to go the other direction. There weren’t many cars there, so most of them must have given up and turned around. We got to the first stop in Flatt’s, and there were the guys who had gotten off to walk. They boarded the bus again, laughing.

Shortly after that, we picked up a big group of teenagers. They were really loud and really drunk, and made their way to the back of the bus. The driver said something to a couple of them as they got on, warning them about being rowdy. That didn’t seem to stop them, though. They weren’t really doing anything wrong, just laughing and yelling, but the driver was really annoyed by that. The massive delay plus the kids was making him angry, and he was driving so fast that we couldn’t believe it, tearing around narrow corners and stomping on the brakes. He yelled back at the teenagers to warn them again, but a couple of them just laughed.

They hit the bell for a stop, but then realized they’d pushed it too early and wanted the next one instead. The driver was having none of that, though: he pulled over and told them to get off the bus. And not just the couple of kids who requested the stop, but all of them. It took them a few minutes to all give up and sullenly leave. As we pulled away, we watched them gather on the side of the road, laughing, and suddenly a rock hit the window right by our seats. It scared the hell out of me and made my ear ring for a long time afterwards. Holy crap.

FINALLY, we made it back into Hamilton. We started recognizing buildings, but didn’t have a good sense of where we were in town. The bus stopped at an intersection, and the engine died. The driver couldn’t get it started right away, and everybody started exclaiming about it. He finally got it going again, and tore around the corner to what we realized was the bus station… having to walk from there wouldn’t have been the end of the world. As he hurtled at top speed toward the parking bay, a couple started crossing the street in front of us. The man stopped and backed up, but the lady kept right on going despite the bus honking repeatedly at her. He slammed on his brakes, barely missing her. We pulled in to the station, and everyone on the bus could not get off there fast enough.

Matt and I walked through an alley back toward Front Street, trying to decide what bar to go to. We went with O’Flanagans on Front Street, since we hadn’t been there yet. We went upstairs and grabbed a table as far as possible from the insanely loud DJ. There weren’t many people there except gathered around the bar, so they weren’t absorbing any sound. We sat there for a very long time with no indication of a server coming by, so we decided to go to the Outback Sports Bar instead. We got a table there, and Matt went for drinks. We then realized they were showing the Judah-Kahn match on giant screens all over the bar, and that almost everyone was there to see it. So we sat there and got to watch a pretty awesome fight in Bermuda, which was unlikely.

I was way too sober and about to doze off, so we decided to head back to the hotel afterwards, and get ourselves to bed. I passed out right away, but kept waking up with crazy chills from sunburn.

Sunday, we had to get up at 8:15 and finish packing. We had breakfast, and I collected a lot of new friends with bits of my toast:

We were going to miss this view every morning.

We checked out of the hotel and went out front to wait for our cab. Standing in the sun was painful, even with our sunburns covered. A driver came up, and though he wasn’t the cab we requested, he took us to the airport anyway.

He was great to talk to. Like everyone, he told us about all the awesome things to see in Bermuda, and how we had to come back for the Cup Match. He then explained how their employment program works: lots of kids go to Canada or the US for school, but they’re guaranteed a job in their chosen field when they return to Bermuda. He said that he and his wife owned a house in Nova Scotia just so their kids could go to school in Canada for resident rates.

We got to the airport around 10, and the check-in desk wasn’t open for our noon flight yet. There was a long line of people waiting, and eventually the Delta agents showed up and started checking people in. We got our boarding passes, and were told to take our suitcases with us to security. In between there and security was the duty-free shop, so we hit that up for some Gosling’s Old Rum and 140-proof Black Seal (no 151, sadly) and other souvenirs, then re-packed the bags with those items. We dropped them at security, then went to customs. (The US has their customs right in Bermuda, for some reason. I’d rather get it out of the way early, so I’m a fan!)

We stopped at the shop for snacks and souvenirs. I noticed they were selling Go Ahead there, too, so I had to grab another pack. We then went to go wait for our flight in the giant shared airport lobby.

In case you’d forgotten, this is why we went to Bermuda for free! Matt and his awesome Barritt’s cocktail:

Our flight was delayed slightly, so we boarded only about 20 minutes late. On the tarmac, and through the back door again. There was a lady who was separated from her kid on the flight, so she was asking the people next to her in our row if they could switch. Since that would split those girls up, we offered to move over so they could be across from each other. The flight attendant said he was giving us all free drinks for that, and we weren’t the slightest bit put out by that since we’d improved to a window seat anyway.

Leaving Bermuda was painful. Look at it:

We did indeed get our free drinks, plus the rest of the leftover mixer and another sealed bottle (which we saved for the second leg of the flight). We got to Boston a little bit late, and sat on the tarmac watching them unloading a soldier’s coffin from the plane we would be boarding shortly. Sad.

We got on the next flight, and were overjoyed to have an entire row to ourselves again. We had our free drinks thanks to Delta, and got home with plenty of time to unpack and hang out in the house for a while before returning to work.

We headed out of town Friday after work in Missy’s car. The most eventful part of the drive there was discovering a cell network called Bug Tussel in middle-of-nowhere Wisconsin:

We stopped at the Great Dane in Madison for dinner. It was shortly after 9, but Madison was already approaching drunk disaster mode. (I think it’s like that 90% of the time anyway.) We had dinner and a beer, then headed on to Milwaukee. We got into our hotel around 11:30pm, checked in, and then hung out in Joe and Missy’s room drinking Surly and watching Slap Shot. What?

Saturday morning, we went to Hi Hat Lounge for outdoor brunch. It was fantastic.

We finally heard from Chris and Meg that they’d arrived at their hotel (they had left town after us, and camped on the way). We made arrangements to meet them at 2pm, and headed to the grocery store for tailgating food and booze. We got enough beer and rum to supply at least eight tailgates, but that’s normal for Wisconsin.

From there, we headed to Great Lakes Distillery. We each had a cocktail, then joined the tour at 2pm. (That made three distilleries I’ve toured: Jack Daniels in Tennessee, Mount Gay in Barbados, and now Great Lakes in Milwaukee. That’s a pretty good mix.)

The tour was great, and the tasting was better. For some reason, Missy and Joe didn’t want their gin or absinthe, so we got doubles. We picked up a bottle of Roaring Dan’s Rum, absinthe verte, and pear eau de vie. (Those were off-limits for tailgating.)

We met up with Chris and Meg, and caravaned to Miller Park to set up for tailgating.

The lines for the port-a-potties were insane, so I was hoping to wait til we went into the park. Of course, this resulted in Matt and I practically running into the building by that time, but we made it.

We had standing room tickets, which allowed us to experience the Twins’ massive failure from multiple angles. I’m glad the tailgating was good, because the game was horrible.

We left around the 5th inning and headed to the Safe House for dinner. We didn’t want to stay there all night drinking from fishbowls, but they had decent food and Joe got his martini that traveled through a tube in the ceiling. Also, I got to see my butt on Buttcam. It’s a tradition.

Missy and Joe headed back to the hotel, so we rode with Chris and Meg to the Hamilton, a cocktail place off Brady Street where Nick (originally from Town Talk) occasionally tends bar. He wasn’t there, but the other bartenders were fantastic. They made great cocktails, and gave us advice on other destinations in town. We had to talk Matt out of trying to make another stop at a tiki bar before going elsewhere, but we all wanted to survive the night. We headed right to Bar None instead.

I won’t review our previous Bar None adventures, but this was on par. We had apple pie shots, the bartender was awesome (again), and some Brewers fans really wanted to talk me out of liking Delmon Young (to no avail). Chris and Meg headed out, and Matt and I took the longest cab ride ever a bit later. (They were staying on the opposite side of town from us, so that was our only option.) We sat in the hotel lobby for a while, waiting for pizza and watching a wedding party stumble around. And then I burned the hell out of the roof of my mouth on cheese, but it was worth it.

Sunday, we got up and headed right back to Minneapolis, listening to another Twins disaster on the radio. (If they hadn’t played that poorly on Friday, too, I’d have thought we had jinxed them.) We got back right as Pride was wrapping up downtown, and transferred our belongings between cars surrounded by glitter and rainbow confetti.

Matt had another regional conference to attend in LA, so we made it a long weekend!

(The entire photoset is here on Flickr.)

Read from the beginning below, or jump to each day:

• 4/22: Friday
• 4/23: Saturday
• 4/24: Sunday
• 4/25: Monday

Lately, Matt and I seem incapable of taking the same airplane on vacation. On the way to LA, he flew out in the early afternoon on Frontier, because he had a voucher for a cancelled flight to use up. I was flying Delta after work.

Since I have 24-hour parking in downtown Minneapolis, I decided to leave my car in the ramp and take the train, which is only a couple of blocks away. I would be arriving before Matt on the return leg, so that seemed to work out well. The airport was pretty much dead when I arrived, and the security people were barely paying attention to anything. I didn’t get scanned or patted-down, for the first time in a long while.

I got a sandwich at the new Surdyk’s at the airport, then climbed aboard my on-time, not-overbooked (!!!) flight.

We landed in LA around 7:30, and I found Matt near the rental car shuttle. We went to get the car and headed to our hotel, the Marriott at Marina Del Rey. It’s conveniently located near the airport and within walking distance of Venice. The hotel was super-fancy, way nicer than we’d normally choose, but his coworkers had picked it. There seemed to be some kind of ultralounge in the lobby, and an Indian wedding going on. The formal saris were kind of amazing.

We dropped off our bags and headed off on foot to Venice, where we had dinner reservations at 9:30. The place was about a mile away. As we headed down Ocean Drive, we suddenly heard a bunch of loud quacking, and turned to see these guys just standing in someone’s yard macking on a lady duck. They didn’t care that we were only a few feet away watching them.

We were very much underdressed for the Tasting Kitchen (their website says ‘casual’… not even close). We had a cheese plate, fresh bread, fries, and I had broccolini and lentils for dinner. We had a couple of cocktails, too, and their sidecar was the best I’ve ever had. Seriously, I’ve had some fantasies about it since. Also, our server was fantastic. We liked her a ton.

We walked back to the hotel after dinner, and this time it was past the ducks’ bedtime. Not to mention ours, since we’d sat down for dinner at 11:30 Minneapolis time!

This was the view from our room on Marina Del Rey. It wasn’t overcast, just really sunny. So much nicer than at home.

We had breakfast with Matt’s coworkers, then drove over to the site of the conference at Pepperdine University (not the main campus, but the one near Howard Hughes Center). I dropped Matt off, then headed towards Griffith Park. On the way there, I saw a car burst into flames on the 405. Oh, California.

I ended up driving around Hollywood for a while looking for a place to get more caffeine and use the bathroom. This resulted in me using one of the scarier gas station bathrooms I’ve ever been in. Refreshed, I headed into Griffith Park.

I was hoping to do the same hike my sister and I had taken before, which climbs a steep hill and ends up overlooking the observatory and the rest of the valley. When I got there, though, I realized that was a lot harder than it sounded: there wasn’t one trail, there were many, many trails. And many, many people hiking them, which meant no parking spots. I decided to keep driving up the hill, to see if anything looked familiar. It didn’t, but I did end up at the observatory itself. Which was awesome.

There were a ton of people up there, since it was very nice outside. I climbed up to the top of the observatory to see the overlook first.

I then went inside the observatory and took in some science. There are a lot of great displays there, but it was way too crowded to spend much time in there. My favorite part was getting to see the actual telescope.

From Griffith Park, I decided to head into downtown LA for the Museum of Neon Art. It was around lunchtime at that point, so I was kind of half-heartedly on the lookout for food as well. As I turned down a street, I saw a bunch of food carts a few blocks away, so I headed that direction. It ended up being the Fashion District, and it was mobbed.

The Fashion District seems to contain several square blocks of stall after stall selling clothes, accessories, and pretty much everything else you could ever want. It reminded me a lot of every Caribbean port town. There were a million hot dog trucks, too: no other food, just hot dogs. I’d have stopped to do some shopping, but there was nowhere to park, and it took me a good half-hour to just circle a few blocks in that neighborhood. I decided to head to the Museum of Neon Art instead.

The museum was small, but awesome. I talked to the lady at the front counter for a while, then went in to see the exhibits. They had a good combination of classic signs and new pieces. She said they were building a new museum in Santa Monica that would be open next year; I really want to go back and see that, because the drawings of it looked amazing.

It was getting close to time to go pick Matt up, so I drove over to Kassava restaurant to pick up some Jamaican patties to go. They were way faster than I expected, so I ended up with time to kill. I drove through Beverly Hills, then got on Sunset Boulevard headed back toward LAX. At that point I was glad I had spare time, because there was an insane accident that had me sitting in the same spot in traffic for over half an hour. I was glad when Matt texted that they were running late, too.

I got back to Howard Hughes Center before they were done, so I parked and got a coffee at Starbucks. This allowed me to sit outside and soak up the California sun, which was glorious. Matt joined me after a bit, and we went to check into the hotel.

The Millennium Biltmore is hella fancy, and its lobby is famous for being in several movies, including Ghostbusters. The rooms aren’t anything super-extravagant, but it was very nice, and very conveniently located in downtown LA. Also, you can avoid the $40/night valet parking fee by parking in the garage across the street, which is only $15/night.

After dropping our stuff off, we headed to one of the greatest bars in the world: Tiki-Ti. Though it was only 5:30pm, it was already a standing-room-only crowd inside. (That was probably to do with their 50th anniversary celebration, which was just kicking off then.) The doorman was Ken, the same guy we sat and talked to the last time we were there. We only had to stand for a bit, and then a table opened and some people moved, so we got seats at the bar. The bartender let me fondle the 50th anniversary tiki mug, too. (We came home and ordered one a few weeks later.)

We needed some food, so we headed over to El Carmen (mostly because we knew it was full of luchador memorabilia and good drinks). The host told us there wouldn’t be any open tables for a few hours, but we were welcome to hang out by the bar. We grabbed a less than optimal spot and started to look at the menu. Soon afterward, the host came back and told us they had a cancellation, and we could have a table. Score! Our food was excellent, as were the cocktails. Matt had a mezcal that tasted like scotch. We’d have stayed longer, but that would have meant taking a cab back to the hotel, so we headed back to the Millennium and parked the car for the night.

From the hotel, we walked the mile or so to Caña Rum Bar. We’d been reading about it forever on the internet, and needed to go. You enter it through a parking garage, and it’s very small. The tables were full, so we went out to the enclosed patio (it was kind of like a greenhouse), which we had to ourselves for a while. The cocktail menu there was amazing. We had a couple drinks, then decided to go inside the bar because it was getting chilly outside. There, we were served by Allan Katz, the GM and rum-nerd celebrity (I think Matt was a little star-struck). He poured us a personal tasting flight that was fantastic.

We would have stayed all night, but we’d probably never have found our way back to the hotel.

Sunday morning, OpenTable was kind enough to get us reservations for brunch at Susan Feniger’s STREET. We kind of kept forgetting that it was Easter.

STREET was amazing. I had the Kaya toast, which is covered in coconut jam and served with an egg and soy sauce. I’ve been having fantasies about it ever since. We both had excellent brunch cocktails, too. I couldn’t believe the place wasn’t more crowded on Easter.

From there, we headed to Venice Beach. We’d driven through the area and saw enough to know it was awesome, but hadn’t been to the actual boardwalk. It was time to fix that, and it was gorgeous outside.

We wandered down the boardwalk, taking everything in. There was a lot to look at. Then we handed over the best $5 we ever spent, and went in to see the freakshow. It was fantastic.

I bought two pairs of sunglasses from a vendor on the boardwalk, and then we decided to stop at the beer garden and hang out in the sun for a while. Of course we both managed to get sunburnt within less than an hour.

Somehow I always manage to forget how massive the beaches in California area. Seriously, they’re huge.

On the way back to the car, we stopped to buy an awesome calavera from a vendor on the boardwalk, and then for food at a couple of walk-up windows. Matt got samosas, and I got a falafel sandwich from a man watching Armenian television.

It was then time to head southward. Our goal was Costa Mesa, home to the well-known (to booze nerds) Hi Time Liquors. They were only open til 4 on Easter, so we had to time our departure well! On the way, we saw the Goodyear Blimp hanging out at its home.

We got to Hi Time with only 15 minutes to spare. That was plenty, though, because we managed to find not only some of the rums we’d sampled the night before at Cana, but our original goal: Lemon Hart 151. It’s just been recently imported into the US, and it’s extremely hard to find.

Our dinner reservations weren’t til 6:30, so we killed time wandering around Newport Beach. We saw the little town, did some shopping, and wandered out onto the pier. We then stopped into the Newport Beach Brewing Company for a beer, and managed to see the Anaheim Ducks get knocked out of the playoffs. Hooray!

It was then time to head up the PCH to Huntington Beach, where we had reservations at Don the Beachcomber. It’s hard to express how excited we were about that, but holy crap. It was great.

Our table was a little slow to be cleared (actually, we were pretty early), so the server asked if we wanted to sit in the lounge instead. That was an excellent stroke of luck, because the lounge was fantastic, and we probably would’ve missed it if we had sat in the dining room. We got a round table, ordered tiki drinks, and settled in to watch the Hawaiian band. I loved every minute of it, to the point that I didn’t even mind their complete lack of vegetarian food (I ordered a salad without meat).

We sadly had to leave Don the Beachcomber and head back to LA. We wanted to stay all night, but then we’d be sleeping in the car in Huntington Beach. On the way back to Hollywood, we ended up in a traffic jam on the 101. At 9:30 on a Sunday. What the hell, LA? (Our theory: everyone in LA is issued at least 2 cars, and is obligated to drive them as many hours as possible. There’s no other explanation for why the traffic is so insane there 24 hours a day.)

We finally reached our destination, the Dresden Room. Matt really wanted to go there, as he’s seen Swingers something like four million times.

The Dresden Room was awesome. They had the typical round tables and oldtimey bar, and a bartender who looked like he’d been working there since the 50s. He made a great Manhattan. There were only a few other people there, but I did manage to eavesdrop on a very dramatic conversation between some Hollywood-types. The lady was going on and on about how hard it was that day with all the extras on the set.

After the Dresden Room, it was again time to go drop our car off by the hotel for the evening. We parked and headed in the direction of Cole’s, which has an awesome speakeasy-style cocktail bar called Varnish in the back. It was midnight as we arrived, so we were appalled to find the managers there closing the place up. (We’d yet again completely forgotten it was Easter.) We asked if any other place was open, and they pointed us next door to a bar called The Association.

The Association was an awesome little lounge with a good variety of classic cocktails. But what mattered more was that we befriended the DJ and his other friend at the bar, and ended up talking to them the whole time, which then resulted in shots of Fernet seeming like a really great idea. When Fernet seems wise, you know things have reached a certain point.

Our friends insisted on buying us a cab back to the hotel, even though it was only 8 blocks or so. We’re pretty sure they didn’t believe us when we said we were walking, since nobody in LA actually walks. They’re all too busy driving their multiple cars.

When we woke up Monday morning, our heads hurt a lot. Thanks, Fernet! We packed up, checked out of the hotel, and headed to Santa Monica to try to find some brunch before leaving LA.

When we arrived there wasn’t really enough time for a sit-down meal, so we decided we’d try to find something else. We went to the co-op where I’d found California Suncakes before (seriously, it’s a sick obsession), and I really wanted more of them. The store had just been remodeled and was right in the middle of restocking, so of course they weren’t in the same place as before. I found an employee and asked about them; after 20 minutes and consultations with a few other employees, still no Suncakes. They were apparently still hidden in the back somewhere. SIGH.

We grabbed some lunch food (I got a surprisingly good vegan ‘chicken’ salad sandwich, and Matt had sushi) and sat outside the store eating. It was kind of the appropriate lunch for our hangovers: shoving food in our mouths in a busy parking lot.

It was then time to head to the airport. We dropped off the car, and said goodbye in the terminal because we were flying different airlines. At least our flights were only 15 minutes apart this time! I had no line at the Delta gates, but of course had to go through the body scanner. (I survived.) Matt had to wait in a huge line. My flight was direct and landed in Minneapolis early; his was delayed leaving Denver.

I got to the airport, hopped on the train, and went to retrieve my car from the parking lot. That was a pretty good system, though if I didn’t have an excuse to take the time, I think it’s probably worth it to just take a cab home. I went home, unpacked, and went onto Flightaware to keep an eye on Matt’s flight. It kept getting later and later, and I was getting sleepier and sleepier. I finally resorted to walking in circles around the house just to stay up til he got in.

I headed to the airport around 11:30, and finally had my fiance back!!

Matt and I wanted to go to Las Vegas for the WCC Tournament and the Nightclub and Bar show, but he also had to do a work presentation in Waterloo, Iowa. We made it work!

(The entire photoset is here on Flickr.)

Read from the beginning below, or jump to each day:

• 3/4: Friday
• 3/5: Saturday
• 3/6: Sunday
• 3/7: Monday
• 3/8: Tuesday
• 3/9: Wednesday

Matt headed out to San Diego to schmooze with his coworkers on Friday morning, while I waited until after work to leave, as I’ve been conserving vacation time for The Honeymoon. I had an entertaining dinner with my parents, and then they dropped me at the airport around 8pm. I was not the slightest bit thrilled to see the huge security line and the body-scanning machines in use. But because I’m tricky, I managed to avoid both the scanner (and the pat-down, nothing short of a miracle) because I chose the right line and got stuck behind someone who irritated the TSA to no end. Their distraction was my win.

When I arrived, Matt texted that he’d be picking me up in an egg yolk. He wasn’t kidding:

Since it was already after midnight and he had to be at a conference in the morning, we headed right to the hotel to sleep.

The next morning, we got up and had breakfast with his coworkers, and then I dropped him off at the nearby University of San Diego. I decided to go over and see Balboa Park first, because though I’d been to San Diego a couple times before, I’ve never seen it.

I got there just as the run/walk for autism was dispersing; it took me a while to realize why there were so many people with numbers attached to them wandering around. By the time I found parking, not only had the crowds cleared, but so had the sky. It was sixty degrees, which for a Minnesotan is almost summer: I was in a sundress and flipflops, while all the locals had jackets on.

Balboa Park was gorgeous. I’m obsessed with anything Worlds-Fair-related, too.

The park is huge, too, so I drove around it as much as possible, then did my wandering.

In a part of the park that was meant to look like a rainforest, I encountered Demandey the Squirrel. I was worried he would chew my face off if I didn’t produce a snack for him.

I wanted to see more of the international village, but only the main house was open. The Ukrainians had it for the day, and were demonstration traditional handcrafts. I realized it was weird to look at the pysanky (Ukrainian eggs) and think, “eh, that’s old hat”, but I totally used to make them as a kid. Just ask my mom, she’ll be happy to show you her collection.

From Balboa Park, I headed toward Point Loma. On the way to Cabrillo National Monument, I noticed a sign for Shelter Island and decided to go check it out, since we had dinner reservations there later that night. I sat and watched a sailboat race for a bit, and wished Matt was there to see it too. He’d probably want to commandeer a boat himself, though.

On my way back, I got a text from April asking if I wanted to meet her for lunch. I did! We decided on Old Town Mexican Cafe, so I headed back that direction. I was pretty early, so I planned on wandering around Old Town and shopping to kill some time. Of course I’d forgotten how hard it is to find parking around there, so I spent most of that time driving around looking for a spot for the Yolk.

Lunch was excellent (I had vegetable mole enchiladas and a margarita), and it was great to get to see April again! I hadn’t seen her since our previous trip to Las Vegas. She had also supplied us with many many suggestions for later dinner and cocktail entertainment, which served us very well.

After lunch, I headed back toward Cabrillo National Monument. I’d forgotten that you have to drive through a naval base to get there, so that freaked me out a little. At the overlook, I met this little dude, who was missing half his tail.

The view from Cabrillo is excellent. I think you can see Mexico from there.

It was getting close to time for Matt to be done, so I headed back toward the university, listening to the Butler-Florida game on Sirius. The game reached the final minute of as I arrived, and I was very relieved to find a parking spot so I could freak out safely as they went to overtime. Matt arrived shortly thereafter, and we went to the hotel to watch Butler win, and so he could change out of his business clothes.

From there, we went to Coronado Island. As I constantly torture him with Don Henley songs (he hates the fuckin’ Eagles, man), of course we had to go see the original Hotel California. Plus there’s beach!

It was really windy and overcast on the beach, but we still saw multiple weddings going on. Also, some pretty impressive sand castles:

Because they had patio heaters, we were able to sit outside Babcock & Story and have cocktails and an appetizer. The people-watching at the Hotel Del Coronado was amazing, and there were a ton of people in Coast Guard uniforms with fancy ladies wandering around for some kind of ball that evening.

From there, we went over to see the Embarcadero, which I’d also never seen before. Because I’m super-classy, I changed out of my dress into jeans and a hoodie in the car. It was getting chilly outside, and things were shutting down, so we wandered and saw the ships, then headed back to the car.

We had some time to kill, so we drove back up to Balboa Park so Matt could see it. After circling around for a bit, we headed over to Shelter Island for dinner at Bali Hi.

We figured we’d maybe have some oldschool tiki drinks and alright food, but everything was way better than expected. They had excellent vegetarian options, and of course the tiki drinks were great. Also, I got to bring this well-known guy home with me:

After dinner, we headed to the Tractor Room, a bar April had recommended. It was fantastic; they made really inventive cocktails, and the bartenders were awesome. We hung out there for a few hours, and then it was time to go back to the hotel.

The next morning, we dropped the Yolk off and shuttled to the commuter terminal at the airport, or “the place all flights to LAX originate from”. We got to walk to our tiny plane on the tarmac, which is always exciting! The flight was really short, and we could see the coast of California the whole time.

We had a 2-hour layover in LA, so of course we had to return to our favorite “beach bar”, where we’d spent many hours being delayed on the way to Hawaii. This time, at least, Delta chose to be on time for once, so we were home with plenty of time to hang out on the couch that evening.

We had a unique start to our trip to Las Vegas: via Waterloo, Iowa. Matt had a work seminar to lead on Saturday morning, so we rented a car around 3pm on Friday and got on the road to the beautiful Waterloo-Cedar Falls metro area. We arrived in town shortly before 8pm, and got our room at Waterloo’s Finest Hotel (according to their website): the Ramada.

I would like to argue with that name: it was crawling with hundreds of loud children, the rooms were very outdated, and everything smelled like smoke. Granted, the kids weren’t really their fault: there was a state wrestling tournament going on in Cedar Falls. The parents on our floor had all propped their room doors open (many of them with coolers full of beer), and the kids were running rampant. We dropped off our stuff and got the hell out of there quick.

We walked to a pizza place a few blocks away called Doughy Joey’s for dinner. The food was pretty great, as was the beer: I had Millstream Backroad Stout, which is made in the Amana Colonies. AMISH BEER!?! So exciting.

After dinner, we went across the street to a place called the Drunken Monkey, which had been recommended as a great dive. It was indeed that: a few of the patrons there were definitely no strangers to meth. We got some cheap drinks and hung out for a bit listening to 50 Cent on the jukebox, but there were too few people there to entertain us. We decided to take a walk around town and see what else we could find.

There didn’t seem to be much else going on in Waterloo that wasn’t extremely divey (there were apparently trendier places across the river, but it was too cold to walk that far), so we decided on a place called Smitty’s because of the hockey-related sign out front. There were only 6 or so people in there, too, so we grabbed seats at the bar and quickly got to know the bartender. We were very excited to find Templeton Rye; it’s made locally and only distributed around Iowa and Illinois. Matt really wanted to bring some home, so I’d done research and read that it was pretty difficult to find because it sold out right away.

We asked the bartender how he preferred to drink it, and he said the Templeton Press was most popular. That’s the second time we’d heard the term ‘press’, and apparently it involves a splash of water and 7-Up. After some research on the internet, we found out that ‘press’ comes from ‘Presbyterian’, and used to mean a non-alcoholic cocktail of some kind. I asked the bartender if he had any advice on where to find Templeton, and he said the little Pakistani liquor stores were the most likely to have some in stock. I added that to my to-do list for the next morning.

We headed back to Waterloo’s Finest Hotel, where it was thankfully past all the children’s bedtime.

Saturday morning, I dropped Matt off at his conference at Allen College and went to go see some of central Iowa. It was very grey outside.

I saw the other side of Waterloo across the bridge, and there were definitely some pretty nice restaurants and bars over there. The downtown was interesting, but pretty run-down. It reminded me of a smaller version of Milwaukee. There were also a ton of houses on stilts that were either moving or recently moved, presumably because the rivers there flood nearly every year.

I kept driving around til I came across one of the liquor stores the bartender had mentioned the previous night, called Red Star. They had Templeton Rye! I got two bottles for just shy of $100, which meant we were going to have to do a good job of protecting them since they were going to Vegas and back.

From there, I drove over to see Waterloo’s sister city, Cedar Falls. My first stop was at the UNI Dome, because we wanted to get a picture of Bally at the home of the Panthers. However, I soon discovered that that’s where the million annoying children had gone: the state wrestling tournament was going on there. I took some crappy out-the-window photos of the dome, circled the campus, and moved on.

Downtown Cedar Falls was completely different than Waterloo. There were a bunch of really cute little shops along a pedestrian-friendly main street, and everything was recently restored. I wish Matt could’ve seen that instead of Waterloo!

Speaking of Matt, it was nearing time to go pick him up. I stopped at Barnes and Noble because they had everything I could ever want at that moment (coffee, a bathroom, and the newest Martha Stewart Weddings), then drove up to the college and parked to wait for him. I got a ways into my airplane knitting project because they were running a little late, but as I’d calculated the latest time we could leave Waterloo about 14 times in my head, I knew we were safe.

Before leaving town, we stopped at the famous Maid-Rite. Matt got a loose meat sandwich (seriously, that’s what it’s called!) and I got some cheese-curd-like things. The employees at Maid-Rite were probably the nicest people on earth, too.

We got on the road to Des Moines, which was a little over 2 hours away. Our flight was at close to 5pm, so we had plenty of time to stop and see the famous Traer Winding Stairs. Yep. (Sometimes you just have to go visit stuff like this, because when the hell are you going to get back to Traer, Iowa? I’d never heard of it until we drove through.)

We arrived in Des Moines, turned in our rental car, and went to get some food and beers at the Capitol City Brew Pub. It was ideally situated so that we could see the plane arriving from our seats at the bar. As expected, it was about the size of a bus. We got on and were soon back in Minneapolis. You know what’s weird? Flying into your hometown to go on a trip.

We arrived in Vegas shortly before 9, and went to go pick up our car. Since we were staying off-strip for a couple of nights, we calculated that it would be way cheaper to rent a car than take cabs to places like the Orleans Arena. And conveniently, parking everywhere in Vegas is free, plus you can leave your car overnight if necessary.

We were spending the first night at the Sahara; not only was it cheap, but we’d had a great time there before (i.e. $1 shots and pai gow). The first thing we encountered after exiting I-5 was a car on fire in the middle of the Strip. Welcome to Las Vegas!

Our room was outdated, but it was clean and comfortable, and that’s all I care about when all I’m doing is sleeping there. We dropped off our bags and headed off on foot toward the Peppermill, a few very long Vegas-blocks away. It’s just past the Riveria, across from Circus Circus.

We got food at the counter in the restaurant (it’s like Vegas Perkins, seriously), then went into the lounge. We had the exact same bartender as the previous time, and he was fantastic. They were also playing the exact same crappy music videos on the TV, plus ESPN. God, I love that bar.

After a couple drinks, we went across to check out Slots-A-Fun. I’d read about their $3 blackjack and $.50 craps games, but there wasn’t too much going on even though it was after midnight on a Saturday. We got some beers from a vendor out front and wandered through that casino and into Circus Circus. We were nowhere near drunk enough to have a Fear-and-Loathing-style freakout, but it’s always good to remind yourself of how bizarre Vegas can be.

We headed back toward our hotel, and got there around 1am. We were too sleepy to gamble, but we had to go see if they still had $1 shots. The bartender told us they’d been discontinued, which pretty much ends any good reason to visit the Sahara. But we did take advantage of some $1 beers instead.

We got up Sunday, checked out of the Sahara, and drove down to the Palazzo for some brunch and sports-betting. We stopped to talk to the lady with the in-game betting devices, but they didn’t have enough options yet to be that interesting. There were some basketball games we were interested in, but they weren’t til later that day.

The benefit to arriving at Lagasse’s Stadium early is that you get a great seat. They put us at a table in front of a giant bank of TVs, right next to the book. We collected odds sheets and instructions (because we can never remember how to place bets), and set to picking games. It was a little too early for them to be serving food, but it was definitely not too early for coffee and beer.

We placed bets, ordered food, and also got a pitcher of Long Islands. Happy morning in Vegas!

After brunch, we headed down the strip to do some gambling. I was in search of a friendly-looking craps table, because I was determined to finally try it. I’d even been practicing my betting on the simulator at home. We stopped into O’Shea’s, but the tables were all full. However, when we checked in on Foursquare, we got a message saying we could show the bartender the check-in and get 2-for-1 drinks. So we did.

We went into Imperial Palace and found an open Pai Gow table. After sitting there for a while, I was down about $60 out of my $100. That’s the first time I’d really lost anything at Pai Gow; it’s a break-even kind of game, if nothing else. Matt wanted to switch to blackjack, so I decided to go give craps a try. I put $10 on the pass line, then a $10 odds bet, and quickly ended up with $40. I did that again, and I had more than my original $100 back. Craps was instantly addicting, but I was too excited to keep playing. I took my chips and cashed out, and we went to get our wander on.

We crossed over to the Mirage, and found a comfortable-looking bar right outside the entryway. It was called Rhumbar, and they featured fancy rum cocktails and cigars. How could we go wrong, really?

It was then time to head over to Orleans Arena for the semifinal games in the WCC Tournament, which started at 4pm. We arrived a bit early, and they let us walk across the court to the far end, where our seats were in the bleachers behind the basket. Even getting to do that blew my mind a little, but that didn’t seem unusual to anyone else. The first game was St Mary’s vs Santa Clara; we were sure St Mary’s would win, but I was more concerned with how much they one by, since I had bet on the game.

St Mary’s covered by a point, so I was very excited. Gonzaga won the second game easily, of course.

After the games, we went over to the Palms to check in. It was one of the preferred hotels for the tournament, so Matt had gotten us a great rate on a room there. I found out much later that it was also the week they were filming MTV Spring Break there. All I can say is that whole thing was incredible: Jersey-Shore looking dudes everywhere, and ladies walking around in bikinis even though it was nowhere near warm enough to go near a pool.

For some reason, they upgraded our room. We ended up in a gigantic suite with 2 bathrooms and a jacuzzi, with a great view of the strip. Not to mention MTV Spring Break going on below us!

Around 10pm, we went over to the Bellagio to see if we could get into the Fontana Bar, which overlooks the fountains. It wasn’t crowded at all, and though it was too cold to sit outside, we still had a good view of the show outside. And the show inside, for that matter: a cover band was playing the greatest dance hits of the 70s through today, complete with several costume changes. They were really entertaining.

The show finished around midnight, so we headed off in search of food. Anyone who says you can get anything you want in Vegas 24 hours a day is full of shit; as we’ve learned over the years, most of it closes down starting around midnight. We covered several restaurants before finally finding one in Paris that was open, serving breakfast all night. It was by no means good (or cheap), but it was food. I had a croque monsier quesadilla without ham, and Matt had a breakfast involving pancakes. One of which he stole, because he wanted to throw it on Las Vegas as revenge for having the audacity to be partly closed. We needed to wrap it in something, so it ended up packed between some Keno sheets in my purse. And when you’ve reached that point in the evening, you know it’s time to go back to the hotel!

I woke up way too early on Monday morning because Wiz Khalifa was soundchecking by the MTV Spring Break Pool. You know when one of those pimped-out bass-blasting cars drives by and makes everything rattle? Multiple that by 10. There was no further sleeping to be done. Also, someone near us in the hotel was smoking weed in their room, accompanied by massive quantities of incense. I don’t care about the smell of weed, but the other stuff was seriously gross.

We got up and headed to Paris for our usual brunch, stopping first to put a couple bucks in our favorite giant slot machine. I won at first, then lost again.

After some delicious baked goods, fruit, and cheese at JJ’s Boulangerie, we went to go wander around and see some of the new sights in Vegas. All of City Center and the Cosmopolitan had opened since we were last there, so there was an entire block of newness to explore.

We hit up the Cosmopolitan first, and it kind of ruined us for the rest of it. It’s swank, and over the top in a mostly nontacky way, if that’s even possible there. The bars all catered to the Mad Man theme, with classic cocktails and comfy armchairs. In the center of the casino was a three-story bar within a gigantic chandelier, appropriately named the Chandelier Bar.

We walked around the second floor, checking out the restaurants. Jose Andres’ spots were there, and we had reservations at one of them later that night. After looking at the menu, though, we were considering the other one instead. We stopped into a store selling kitchen and barware, and ended up having a long conversation with an employee there who was originally from Wisconsin. She said I had an accent, but I refuse to believe it. She told us more about the Cosmopolitan, including the fact that the chandelier was made of Swarovski crystals valued at $34,000,000, and that there was a secret pizza place in the building. That made us love it even more. (Also, they had one of those cigarette machines converted to an art-book dispenser, and a giant vending machine where you could buy makeup, trinkets, electronics, and other high-end fanciness. Swank.

We decided to go have a drink in the chandelier. It was amazing.

From the Cosmopolitan, we crossed the street into the City Center complex. The mall was full of really high-end stores that weren’t that amazing (mostly because they already exist in places like Caesar’s), but some of the restaurants looked interesting. The Vdara casino was really pretty, but after having just been in the Cosmopolitan, we were pretty unimpressed. Nothing else is quite that nice.

We got trapped in the mall on the way back out of the complex. That place is confusing! We finally made it across the Strip to Planet Hollywood, where we wandered around the shops (it’s a tradition). After a stop at ABC Stores to remind us of Hawaii, we needed to sit down. (I realized while typing this that didn’t seem like much walking, but it was close to 2 hours!) We headed to Cabo Wabo Cantina, where we got a table on the patio.

It was raining a tiny bit on and off, but it was still pretty nice outside for people who had come from winter. We got some food and margaritas, and I used our Groupon. WIN.

After lunch, we headed back up to the Palazzo to get the car and drive over to the Orleans. The game wasn’t until 6pm, but we figured we could kill some time gambling.
We found a blackjack table that was just opening, and sat down to play. The place was full of basketball fans, at least 90% of them for Gonzaga. People asked us who we were supporting, and were impressed to hear that we didn’t really care, we’d just come for the tournament.

I ended up winning a bit of money at blackjack, and the game was a good excuse to quit while I was ahead. We went to the bar to grab a quick drink (since they weren’t serving inside the arena), and headed into the game.

We spend the first half of the championship in our seats, then moved closer to the St Mary’s student section to be prepared for court-storming. The game was close enough that picking a side was really difficult, but we preferred St Mary’s. (My favorite part of the game was toward the end when St Mary’s was down quite a bit, and their band launched into Cee-Lo Green’s ‘Fuck You’. The booing was spectacular.)

During the last 30 seconds or so of the game, we watched the security guards dragging out ropes and lining them up along the sidelines. Other guards stood blocking the corners of the arena where the students were sitting. It suddenly became evident what they were up to: BLOCKING THE COURT-STORM. Lame.

We stopped at the Palms to change to warmer clothes, and were surprised that there were no MTV spring breakers around. I decided they had probably all frozen to death in the pool. From there, we headed over to see the world-famous Double Down Saloon, which Matt had been determined to visit since the first moment he learned about it.

It had been described as a very late-night place, but we figured it’d be a lot easier to go early and be able to get in. Late night turned out to not be a joke: it was 9pm, and there was only one other person sitting at the bar. (I think he worked there.) By the time we left there were probably 10 people total in there.

I got a beer and Matt got a shot of Ass Juice. The bartender was hilarious. He explained that ass juice was basically just an attempt to get girls to drink grain alcohol; we were pretty sure it was just juice and Everclear. I had to try one after I finished my beer, and it was surprisingly good.

I put $20 in the blackjack machine in front of me, and quickly learned that gambling at the bar was enough to get you a free drink, which is awesome. (That’s true even at the Cosmopolitan, apparently.) After losing on a hand, I tried to lower my bet to the minimum and couldn’t figure out how, so I started clicking the ‘bet’ button, figuring it would go to the top and then start over. That was not the case, however, and I ended up with an $18 bet sitting on my machine. We called the bartender over and asked if he could fix it; he said, “well, we’d have to call the gaming commission, and you might be sitting here for a while.” Holy crap! So I bet my $18 as everyone there watched, and ended up with a push. WHEW.

A couple came in and we moved over a seat to make room for them, so they bought us shots of ass juice to thank us. We got to talking, and learned that the guy was a local rapper, and the lady was his girlfriend from California. They were disappointed we wouldn’t be in town long enough to get to his CD release show. So were we, just because the situation was so amusing.

We said goodbye to everyone and left the Double Down while we were still capable, though it was very tempting to stay there all night. (We’ll be stopping in on every trip to Vegas, I believe.) We went down the street to the Cosmopolitan, because we were in need of dinner.

The ramp at the Cosmopolitan is the most advanced parking ramp I’ve ever seen. There was a digital display telling us how many spots were available on each floor, and rows of overhead lights in red and green showing which spots were open. Once we parked, we of course had to get out and make sure our light had turned to red. It was that exciting.

We got seats at the prep bar at China Poblano, one of Jose Andres’ restaurants there. The menu was a mix of chinese and mexican street foods, and everything was amazing. Here are Matt’s tacos:

I had a margarita with a mezcal float. Hello, happy time. We sat there watching the second floor fill up with club-goers; Monday is industry night, and apparently gets pretty crazy. We had to fight our way out of there after dinner, pushing through people wearing clothes about 100 times fancier than ours. We tried to get into the Chandelier but it was packed, so we went downstairs to Bond for a drink instead.

We had to reenter the gigantic club crowd to get to the parking elevators, but we survived. While waiting there, we witnessed two security guards helping a girl who was in a panic about not being able to find her car in the ramp. She couldn’t even remember what floor it was on, and that’s because she was so drunk she was about to fall off her heels. The guards were trying to be helpful by helping her find it. What the hell, dudes? I pulled one of them aside and asked, “you’re not really going to let her drive that drunk, are you?” He kind of waved it off like they couldn’t possibly do that, but I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened.

We headed back to our presidential suite, which was by then so full of the smell of incense it was horrifying. It seemed to be mostly isolated to the living room, though, so we could cut it off by closing the door. But, really, dudes, if you’re going to smoke weed in a hotel, just smoke week. Nobody cares.

We got up at the last minute on Tuesday, checked out of our presidential suite at the Palms, and headed to the Venetian to get brunch. After that, we went down to the sports book and cashed our our immense winnings (something like $40) on the basketball games.

Then it was time for the Nightclub and Bar Show!

All we knew was that there would be a ton of vendors represented, and that there would be some samples. What we didn’t know was that there would be a million samples and giveaways, and that everything would be amazing.

The exhibit floor was open from 12-6, and we figured we’d only be there a few hours before getting bored. Man, were we wrong.

Also, a porn star autographed that sign for us, and wished us happy wedding. AWESOME.

How we survived the NCB Show, I’m not really sure. What I do know is that one should not try to experience it all in one session.

We stopped to get food at In & Out Burger on the way to our new hotel, the Flamingo. By the time we got to the room, I’d forgotten that we had eaten. Also, the front desk told us there was a package waiting for us there, but apparently there was not. I’m still troubled about that.

The Flamingo’s ‘Go!’ rooms are great. They’ve been recently updated and are very modern. My favorite amenities were the TV built into the bathroom mirror, and the shower with horizontal jets. We’ll definitely be staying there again.

After crashing for a while, we went out to have a very late dinner at Todd English’s Urban P.U.B. in City Center. The food and beers were great, and the crowd getting pretty nuts there. After dinner, we went back over to the Chandelier Bar for another cocktail. It had quickly become our favorite bar in Vegas.

Wednesday morning, we checked out, brought our bags to the car, and went to go see the wildlife sanctuary at the Flamingo, since we’ve never stopped in there.

I love that the turtles have their names painted on them, and that Amy was standing on Mike.

We went to go play pai gow for a while, but I had a really bad run and lost $60 again. I fully expect to win a bunch next time I play, because twice in a row is unlikely. We decided that brunch was a better use of our cash, so we went up to the rooftop at Margaritaville and had some food and margaritas.

On the way back through the Flamingo, I wanted to show Matt how to play craps, since he was playing blackjack the first time I’d tried it. I placed my bet, and quickly recouped the money I’d lost at Pai Gow. Whoa.

We went over to do our usual shopping at Caesars, and managed to not buy a single thing at Shanghai Tang. (First time ever!) Then it was time to go get our stuff and head to the airport, sadly. We did manage to meet a showgirl on the way, and had Bally’s photo taken with her. WIN.

On the flight home, we saw a court-storming on the airplane TV. So not fair!

We arrived in Syracuse via Cleveland (where our plane was so tiny we got to walk on the tarmac!) around 12:30, got our car (a Kia Soul called ‘Scar’, according to the keytag), and drove to Armory Square for lunch at Empire Brewing. I had empanadas, poutine, and we split the beer sampler. Win.

We saw a bit of downtown, then drove to see the university and stop at the bookstore for souvenirs. Bally got himself a new orange friend named Otto! (Yes, I did decide to like Syracuse basketball a few years ago primarily because of the color.)

We headed east on US 20 toward Hamilton, home of Colgate University. Matt was going there for work; they have a yearly conference in the area, and he teaches a seminar about technology. We got our room at the Wendt University Inn (one of two hotels in town), met a couple of his coworkers from Boston, then drove the mile into Hamilton to find food. We ended up at a little tapas place that had weak margaritas, but awesome food.

We didn’t have cell signals the entire time we were in Hamilton. That was kind of mindblowing, considering we don’t even have that problem anymore in Matt’s hometown! It was really disconcerting to feel so disconnected.

Around 6:30, we went over to Reid Athletic Center at the university to see Colgate vs Brown!

We’d looked into tickets a few months ago and figured we could risk buying at the door, but didn’t realize how far off our expectations were. First of all, we were able to park in a lot right next to the rink, for free. Tickets cost $6 (or $12 if you wanted a reserved seat with a back). There were maybe 500 fans there. We sat in the front row. I couldn’t believe that these were teams on the same level (in the NCAA, at least) as the ones we’re used to seeing here. It was fantastic, and made me appreciate the Mariucci experience a lot. I’ll try not to complain too much when we have 8,000 fans in the building instead of a capacity crowd.

We got to see a penalty shot, too!

After the game, we went to a couple of bars in town. At that point, it was very hard to differentiate upstate from Wisconsin (in all the good ways).

We got up bright and painfully early the next day (6:30 on a Saturday? Ow.), checked out, and I dropped Matt off at Colgate. Due to the lack of signal, we had to revert to the olden days form of communication: “I’ll meet you here at 3pm. If I’m not here… well, maybe assume I’m dead, because there’s no way to get a hold of me.”

I got back on highway 20 and headed toward my 48th state, Vermont! There were 90 miles of small towns before I got to Albany, and I was nervous the entire time due to my lack of signal and very few cars around me. I decided that even though it’d be slightly farther, I was taking the interstate back.

The area east of Albany is gorgeous, and I reached Vermont around 10am. My first stop was at the tallest structure in the state, Bennington Monument:

I drove around town a little, then stopped at the general store for my obligatory Vermont souvenirs. The place was exactly as hippie-esque as I was hoping. Also, the lady behind the counter demanded that I stop in at the Crazy Russian Girls Bakery across the street before I left, so I picked up an awesome scone for myself, and a cookie to bring back to Matt. Then I was back on my way to New York!

I got into Utica before 2pm, so I had some time to kill before going back to Hamilton. I decided to find a liquor store and pick up some local beer for the evening. The first one Google sent me to was closed (what??) , so I found another one nearby. Upon walking in, though, I realized that they didn’t sell beer, just wine and liquor. I asked the guys at the counter what was up, and they said they weren’t allowed to sell beer. Most groceries had it, but the cheapest could be found at Rite Aid. I headed there instead.

Rite Aid had the cheapest, for sure: Bud Light, Coors, and Milwaukee’s Best. Not exactly what I was hoping for. I thought the booze laws in Minnesota were strange!

I drove back to Hamilton, took some pictures around town and on campus, then parked and waiting for Matt. He arrived right on time, and I went in to help him pack up. What I learned while there is that his coworkers adore him. And why wouldn’t they? They’re obviously smart people.

We packed up and headed to Oneida in search of food, but there was little to be found there. We decided to go check in and find something at our hotel instead. On the way, we stopped at a grocery store to examine the beer situation, and were delighted to find a sampler pack of Saranac there.

We were staying at Vernon Downs, a casino and harness racing track near Utica. I knew it would be entertaining, but it was even better than we’d hoped. We had a quick dinner at the buffet, then went to play video poker (they don’t have tables there). I tripled my money very quickly, which has never happened to me on those machines before. We then hopped the shuttle to the racetrack, where they were giving out free tshirts since it was the last racing of the season. Over the course of a couple hours, I won $90 on horses, too. I loved it.

We went back to the hotel, laid on our bed drinking beers and watching the racing (we overlooked the track), then returned to the casino to watch the cover band, which was being cheered on by a large group of Canadians and the Elvis impersonator who’s performing Thanksgiving weekend. Amazing.

Sunday morning, we got up at 8 and drove to Cooperstown, about 70 miles away. I’d been there as a kid, and had since forgotten how cute the town is. We had a quick breakfast at the Cooperstown diner (where the locals were all arguing about the merits of small town vs city), then went over to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

My favorite thing at the hall of fame? Joe Mauer’s sideburns!

We had to tour the museum pretty quickly because we only had a couple of hours there, but we made the most of it. The Twins displays were the best, of course. We’ll have to go back when they induct Bert Blyleven and add Target Field to the stadiums exhibit!

We did some souvenir shopping in Cooperstown, then got back on the road to Syracuse. (In case you’re considering following Google’s directions and avoiding the tollway, don’t: it’s way faster.) We arrived in town around 3pm, and headed back to Armory Square for lunch. The place we’d chosen was closed, so we ended up at Empire Brewing again. It was hard to be too sad about that.

After lunch, we drove to the airport and dropped the car off. We had flights on a couple tiny Continental Express jets again, which were fantastic. I really hope they can maintain that awesomeness after the United merger.

Since this conference happens yearly, it’s entirely likely we’ll be going back next year. I didn’t think I’d be very excited to return to upstate, but now I’m looking forward to it!

(The entire photoset is here on Flickr.)

Earlier in 2010, we planned for this to be the year to go to Europe with Steve and Colleen. Then we started checking airfare, and after a few months it became clear that we weren’t going to be able to get there for cheap. So we did what any smart person would do: we decided to go to Hawaii instead.

Matt and I spent a day in LA, three days in Kauai with Steve and Colleen, four days in Maui, and a couple days in Oahu. No matter how much time I stay in Hawaii, though, it’s never even close to enough.

(The entire photoset is here on Flickr.)

Read from the beginning below, or jump to each day:

• 10/2: Minneapolis to Los Angeles
• 10/3: LA to Oahu
• 10/4: Oahu to Kauai
• 10/5: Kauai: Waimea Canyon
• 10/6: Kauai
• 10/7: Kauai to Maui
• 10/8: Maui: Iao Valley
• 10/9: Maui: Haleakala
• 10/10: Maui
• 10/11: Maui to Oahu
• 10/12: Oahu: Waikiki
• 10/13: Going home

Saturday morning around 9:45, our friend Bill picked us up and drove us to the airport. I felt a little bad about making someone get up so early on the weekend, but he had a new baby at home. He said he was used to it.

We got to our gate just in time for the agent to announce the flight was delayed due to “a mishmash of mechanical issues”. (If there’s any way to instill confidence in travelers, it’s not that.) A bit later, they told us that the plane had a broken windshield, so they were going to replace it at some point. With nine flights scheduled over the next week and a half, we’d expected to spend some time in airport bars, but we hadn’t been counting on that quite so soon.

Delta managed to do something right, because the new plane was delivered fairly quickly, only about an hour delayed. We boarded, and the captain said we could blame him for not wanting to fly with a broken windshield. We were totally fine with that decision; I’m more alarmed that Delta was willing to leave it at the pilots’ discretion.

We touched down at LAX around 2:30, picked up our rental car, and headed into Beverly Hills via Santa Monica Boulevard. Our plans kept adapting to the time we spent in the car: we were hungry and hoping to find an In-n-Out Burger or Del Taco, but eventually we became so tired of driving and being hungry that we were just looking for anything decent. We ended up finding Good Microbrew and Grill on Sunset Boulevard, and it turned out to be an excellent choice.

We sat out on the patio having awesome beer and really good (i.e. California) food. (I can never get over the huge difference in the quality of produce between here and there. It’s very noticeable.) There were Minnesota beers on the menu, too!

After dinner, we headed a few blocks down Sunset toward our primary destination: Tiki-Ti. I won’t bother trying to explain it, since the website says it all. It was even more spectacular than we’d hoped.

The bar sat 12 people, and there were tables for maybe 20 more at most. An old guy propping up the end of the bar scooted over and greeted us with, “Hello king, hello queen.” He’d obviously spent some time in Jamaica.

We had some tiki drinks, then I got up to use the bathroom. When I got back, Matt had made friends with the guy on the other side of him. He introduced himself as Ken, and told us that his dad was Filipino and his mom Scandinavian (hence the Minnesota connection). We spent the rest of our time there talking to him about his experience living in LA and his visit to the Philippines.

We didn’t really want to leave, but knew we’d never get out of there alive otherwise. We said bye to Ken and the bartender, and went to go check into the hotel.

We picked Stay because of its proximity to the places we wanted to visit on our short trip to LA. It’s very conveniently located right in the middle of downtown, on Main Street. The building is very strange but awesome: the rooms are updated with modern art, and everything is very clean. Half the rooms have shared bathrooms in the hallway, but we got one with a private bath. The only downside, though, was the lack of air conditioning. While it wasn’t too terribly hot, the importance of that fact wouldn’t become apparent til later.

After we became situated, I started looking up our other stops on the map on my phone, only I couldn’t make sense of anything on there. I couldn’t even figure out where we were. I finally laid down when I realized I was having a huge blood sugar crash, obviously due to the tiki drinks. It was very strange because I’d felt totally fine til right then; usually you can feel any blood sugar disturbance within half a minute. At any rate, I passed out for 20 or 30 minutes, and experienced the very unpleasant delirium of the rush of insulin. Within the hour, I felt fine again, just really exhausted.

We walked to a nearby pizza place for a slice, then moved on. We’d initially been planning to go to Caña, but it was about 2 miles roundtrip and I wasn’t sure I could make it. We added that to the ‘next time in LA’ list, and went here instead:

(We’re both graduates of the University of Minnesota, and huge Gophers hockey fans. The bouncer asked for our drivers licenses and made the connection right away, so we loved him.) The Golden Gopher is a super-classic bar, though it didn’t look too much like it on the inside. We got there around 9 and it was fairly empty, so we grabbed seats at the bar and ordered manhattans.

Around 11pm, the bar started to fill up. It wasn’t hatefully douchey or anything like we were expecting in LA, but it was still pretty different from our usual crowd; the most common drink ordered was Grey Goose and Red Bull. Seriously, you’d pay $11 for a drink involving Red Bull? At least don’t bother with the Goose. Once it became crowded to the point that people were leaning on us, we headed out.

We got back to the hotel around 12:30 and had to switch our usual places in the bed so that Matt could be nearer the open window (he’s the one who’s always way too warm). It was then that we realized the true downside to no A/C: not the heat, but the noise. It was a combination of people yelling, cars honking, music, and possibly even a brass band from 1am til sometime after 4. Needless to say, it was not the greatest sleep of our lives.

Our hotel starting blasting dance music from the lobby at 8am. It would’ve been way more painful had it not been for the time change that made it feel like 10am, and the vacation adrenaline. I get up way earlier on vacation than I ever voluntarily do at home!

I went to get coffee and a giant croissant in the lobby while Matt finished showering, and then we headed out to see more of LA. Stop one satisfied the geology nerd in both of us: the La Brea Tar Pits.

(It’s always bizarre and confusing that that exists right on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles. Before the first time I visited, I assumed it was in the middle of nowhere.)

From there, we drove up to Hollywood Boulevard for the obligatory super-touristy stop.

It was gorgeous outside, but apparently not gorgeous enough for all the impersonators to be out hassling people for photos. We were pretty glad about that.

Matt and Bally picked their favorite stars on the Walk of Fame. Shortly thereafter, we named our rental car ‘Ponch’.

We stopped at Jack in the Box for a quick lunch (we’d still been unable to find In-n-Out or Del Taco, even though California ads led us to believe they were on every street corner). Matt visited the restroom on the way out, and said he’d seen a guy enter the stall with his hamburger and heard him continue eating on the toilet. CLASSY.

We hopped on I-10 and drove to Santa Monica, where we sat in the same insane traffic as the two other times I’ve visited Santa Monica. What the hell? We finally found a parking spot and walked down to the Promenade so Matt could check out the dinosaur topiaries and awesome street performers, the best of whom was Biggie Smalls painted completely silver.

From there, we walked down to the pier. Though these pictures make it look really overcast, I don’t recall it being that dark at all! It was just the typical Pacific coast fog.

I’d told Matt that the first time I visited the Santa Monica pier was on my three-week solo roadtrip, and it was one of the only places I was sad to be alone, because it was kind of romantic. I wanted to fix that, so we did.

The pier was as crazy as I’d remembered. There were buskers (including Mongolia’s only pro contortionist), the amusement park, and vendors selling things like unflattering caricatures and your name on a grain of rice. It’s basically exactly what you want from that kind of spectacle. We walked down to the end of the pier, saw the fishermen and the end of Route 66, then headed down to see the beach, which had a different kind of spectacle:

(The crosses represented the number of soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Horrible.)

We went down and dipped our feet in the ocean. It was freezing, so we were pretty excited to be heading to Hawaii very shortly…

…or so we thought.

As we climbed the steps back up to the pier, I got a phone call from Delta. I missed it and called right back, knowing what it would inevitably mean. The agent said our 6pm flight was delayed 2 hours, but that we would still have to be at the airport at the correct time, ‘just in case’. AARGH.

We still had some time to kill before heading there, so we did some shopping at an awesome British grocery (the snacks we got there made it through the entire trip with us, on various flights), then stopped at the TNB BBQ truck for Korean tofu tacos. We may not have made it to In-n-Out, but we did get to experience one of LA’s finer taco trucks!

We took highway 1 down the coast toward the airport, passing through Venice (which was awesome) and Marina del Ray. By the time we arrived at the car rental place, Delta had called again to notify me (via friendly robot) that the flight was now delayed 3.5 hours. That would put it into Honolulu dangerously close to midnight, and I knew we were starting to run the risk that it wouldn’t leave at all that night. While I’d have loved an extra night in LA, I’d prefer it to not come at the expense of our trip to Hawaii (and also missing the next day’s flight to Kauai).

We checked in, and the Delta machines spit out a couple of $6 meal vouchers as apology. (Nice work, guys.) We decided to turn them into drinks, and headed to Malibu Al’s Beach Bar, to attempt to pretend we were somewhere tropical already. Also, it was right by our gate. We ordered long islands, played cribbage and canasta, and later ordered pizzas from CPK (located across the way… they just carried them over).

We eventually got sick of Malibu Al’s and crossed over to the Cantina just for a change of scenery. There, we ordered margaritas and watched the Giants game. We were so tired and punchy that everything I saw was the funniest thing ever. Finally, after 5+ hours at LAX, they announced the boarding of our flight.

We were glad to be in row 19 near the front, and to have already been supplied with blankets and pillows. I was also really glad to have the window seat this time. I napped on and off for 4 1/2 hours or so, then spent some time staring out the window at the stars and ignoring the reruns of stupid comedies on the overhead screens. We landed in Honolulu around 12:15, and the passengers on our flight were the only people left in the airport.

We grabbed our bags and headed to the shuttle bus, which of course had to wait around for a long time for other passengers. We finally headed off into Waikiki. Matt and I were dying of exhaustion, and kept ourselves awake by counting the number of ABC stores we saw on the way to our hotel (11 of them!). We arrived at the Castle Ocean Resort, close to 2am. They’d roped off the lobby and were cleaning the floors, but there was still someone waiting at the desk to check us in.

When we got up to the room and found that our keys didn’t work in the door, I thought Matt was going to die. I left him with the bags and ran back to the lobby, and thankfully everything worked the second time. We barely took time to plug in our phones and brush our teeth before collapsing in bed. This time, with air conditioning!