keleti pu

I was awake at 4am, unable to sleep. I was having anxious dreams all night about something going wrong on the way to Prague. We got up at 6:30 and had the usual (awesome) breakfast. I watched a group of Japanese businessmen pouring kimchee on their eggs, and mixing up ramen. One of our favorite games in the hotel restaurant was to pick out the Americans. It was harder than I expected.

We checked out and took the metro to Keleti Pu, our train station. We had no clue how early one had to arrive for a train, assuming it was much like flying. We were wrong, because we were there way too early. We rolled our bags up and down the station, figuring out how things worked. We had about an hour before our train would even show up on the board. We checked with the ticketing lady to make sure we had everything we needed, and we were good to go.

In our wandering, we found the post office. We walked in and were instantly confused. None of the signs had any meaning. We finally found the right window, and waited in line forever. When we got to the window, I was worried we might get beaten up for having so damn many postcards. But the girl there was very helpful. She totalled it all up, we paid, and she pulled out 3 different stamps and an airmail sticker for each postcard. I wanted to die, but I figured we’d found a good way to kill an hour. Only she didn’t give us the postcards back. She said she’d do them herself. Wow.

We went back and sat on the platform with our suitcases. Since the station is open on one end, it was a little cold. I tried not to doze off. I sat there wondering whether they’d have food I could eat in the dining car, and whether there would actually be a dining car at all. I didn’t know! I’d never taken a train across Eastern Europe before. I decided to stock up just in case.

I wandered off downstairs to one of the million bread/pastry shops in the metro station, and returned proudly carrying a pretzel larger than my head. I was set.

our train car

Our train had come up on the board, so we rolled our way down the track and found the car. We had seat reservations, so it was easy. The train’s final destination was Zoo Station in Berlin, and according to the labels, we’d have our compartment to ourselves until halfway through the trip. Rock.

It was a six-seat compartment, with two rows facing each other. There were racks overhead for luggage, a door that slid closed, and mirrors above the seats. I discovered later that the mirrors made finding your compartment by the people in it really confusing. I’d see Bertine and go to walk into one compartment, when actually she was in the last one. Train funhouse!

the obligatory crappy mirror shot

We sat in the station for about half an hour while the train loaded, and then we were off. I was way excited about things like using the train-WC (we had started calling it the WC since arriving there), and visiting the dining car. I’m a sucker for novelty.

sitting at the station

Shortly after the train left [train movie], a guy came around checking our tickets. After that, passport control came through. They were usually a team of two, one with a stamp for the country you were exiting, and one with a stamp for the country you were entering. You could hear them coming by the chunkCHUNK of the stamp, as they progressed down the hall. Having looked at the railroad map beforehand, I figured we’d be entering Austria briefly to go through Vienna, then heading into the Czech Republic. Imagine our excitement when we looked at the passports the officer handed back to us, and realized we were in Slovakia.

dining car

Train travel is slow, and the train rocks in such a way that it makes you really sleepy. I spent the time alternately knitting and dozing. Though I hate sleeping on airplanes, it was easy on the train. I saw the towns of Bratislava and Brno, cities I’d heard a lot about in Russian classes but never expected to see. Most of Slovakia and the eastern part of the Czech Republic looked like it was made up of little fairytale villages.

We got some new compartment-friends in Bratislava. One of the guys put a big bottle of beer up on the shelf, where it proceeded to roll around a lot. There was also a teenage girl, who Bertine saw being waved-to by her mom from the platform. She looked very nervous, and didn’t say a word until we reached Prague.

We decided to try the dining car shortly after Bratislava. The guy who worked in there was awesome, and we loved him. He was so over-the-top. He didn’t want to serve me soup, because it came from a packet. I got the cheese plate instead, because, you know. Cheese. Bertine got paprika chicken, and we had Czech beers. As we were eating, we crossed the border into the Czech Republic. Passport control came through the dining car. In the back corner, we were alternately amused and annoyed by a group of crusty British guys who were bitching about not having smokes. One of them said, ‘We just went an entire country without a cigarette!’ At one of the stops, they lined up at the door, waiting for the second it opened. The train would only stop in small towns for perhaps a minute, and people would rush to get on or off. They sprang back into the dining car with a pack of cigarettes they had purchased in a mad rush from one of the booths at the station. So funny.

We paid for our food (note: the dining car is really expensive, and they made some extra money by obviously rounding up in the conversion from euros to, in our case, forint) and headed back to our compartment. The guys had gotten off the train, so only the girl was left. We spent the rest of the trip to Prague dozing off, and peering at the travel guide.

We arrived at Holešovice Station around 5:30pm. As before, we first stopped at the cash machine. Prague only had single-day travel passes, so we had to get change for the metro ticket kiosk. We stopped into a little shop to buy pop and food, and I realized I could just buy a ticket there. We were on our way to the hotel.

Thing is, I didn’t know exactly where the hotel was. It was called Hotel Ibis Smichov, and there was a Smichov station, so that seemed obvious. The directions in the guide were as if you were driving, so I had to guess. In the metro station, we were immediately stopped by a transit cop, who checked our tickets. He told me I needed another 10Kc for my suitcase. We decided to play dumb-tourist and risk it anyway.

We took the metro to Smíchovské nádraží and walked out onto the street. We didn’t see the hotel, so we walked around and tried to find street names we’d recognize from the tiny map I had. We saw a couple signs with promising-sounding names, but had no clue where we were. We were freezing, and it was dark. I tried to call the hotel, but couldn’t figure out how to dial a local number; all I knew was how to call the US. OSKAR, the local cell service, kept telling me ‘the number is being cheeky’. The neighborhood was pretty dodgy, and I was tired of rolling my suitcase over cobblestones. We finally went back to the metro station and Bertine managed to find a nice woman who knew where were were headed. She told us our hotel was actually at the previous station. We were relieved.

We hopped back on the metro with no ticket, hoping we wouldn’t get caught. We got off at Andel, and walked out to find ourselves in an infinitely nicer part of town. It was all fancy shopping and bright lights. For a second, it struck me as downtown Las Vegas.
While we stood at the metro exit looking for the street name for our hotel, a guy came up and asked what we were looking for. We told him, the Hotel Ibis on Plzenska (which I later realized was ‘Pilsner’, like the beer). He looked excited and waved us after him. I muttered to Bertine that we needed to watch out for that guy. He rushed us around the corner at the main intersection and headed down Plzenska. We could see the hotel from there, so we stopped and thanked him for his help. I dug quickly in my wallet and came out with a bunch of coins. I handed it to him and he said no, and pointed at my wallet. I said, ‘Sorry! Thanks!’ and we hurried off. I’m pretty sure he probably ended up with more Hungarian forint than koruna.

hotel ibis smichov

We were so happy to find that hotel. We were even happier at the location. It was right by a big mall with lots of restaurants (immediately named ‘The Mall of Prague’), and a brand-new Humanic store that Bertine was positive would open up just for us. We checked in and dropped our stuff off in the room, then immediately headed over to the mall to find dinner.

big flush, little flush

thanksgiving dinner

We called the folks back home to wish them Happy Thanksgiving, and let them know we’d made it to Prague and were beyond thrilled to be there. We circled the mall and headed up to the food court, which was way nicer than the usual American version. We decided on the Turkish place. Yes, we had falafel, hummus, Turkish coffee, and chai for Thanksgiving. We rule.

giant nutella display

Afterwards, we stopped at ‘The Target of Prague’, i.e. Carrefour. It had a huge grocery on the lower level, and everything else on the second floor. We marveled at the crazy European candy, and decided to come back for souvenirs before we left. We went back to the hotel and went to bed shortly after 9pm.

We woke at 6am; it was still dark out. Breakfast at the Hotel Ibis Praha Smichov was even better than in Budapest, because they had all the same food and Laughing Cow cheese. We ate, bought metro passes, and took the metro to Staromestská, or Old Town Square. Bertine led the tour. I photographed. The cold was especially painful that day, for some reason.

the church of our lady before týn

They were setting up booths in old Town Square and Andel, near our hotel, for Christmas. We didn’t really know what they’d be used for, but we were hoping they’d be open before we left.

church of st. nicholas

Old Town Square made me really, really happy. It was one of those places that’s so essentially Prague. It’s perfect.

štorch house

powder gate

astronomical clock (old town hall)

We positioned ourselves in front of the clock on Old Town Hall at 9am. Every hour, it puts on a show; a procession of apostles comes out and music plays. My favorite figures on the clock were Death (a skeleton, of course) and The Turk.

window on old town hall

9am also meant the clock tower was open. We went inside, climbed a bunch of stairs, and then took a magical round glass elevator to the top. The first thing we did, even before checking out the view, was smash some pennies in the machine.

Prague is all about red tile rooftops, winding streets, cobblestones, and church spires. It’s amazing from above.

celetná street

looking across the vltava: prague castle on the right

church of st. nicholas

church of our lady before týn

old town square, setting up for christmas festival

looking south

We circled the clock tower and peered at the city until we were freezing. We took the magical round glass elevator back downstairs and set off wandering.

u rotta

marionette shop

Most of the shops didn’t open til 10, so we followed the guidebook and read about the sights, noting the stores we wanted to come back to. We went into a few churches, and by then I felt like I’d already been in so many churches I couldn’t keep track of them anymore.

I was excited to see a Tesco, so we went in and checked it out. It was kind of like a multi-level K-mart. Not terribly exciting, but we at least warmed up. Afterwards, we headed back towards Charles Street in Old Town, where all the shops were. We found a little candy store that had coffee, so we stopped there for a while.

The people who worked there were so awesome. I had a cappuccino, and Bertine had tea. When we were done, we picked out a bunch of treats for people at home, and then each bought a bar of chocolate. That was the first time I’d ever had sugar-free chocolate that actually tasted like the real stuff.

karlúv most (charles bridge)

Charles Bridge was one of the things I was most excited to see, so of course when we got there I started crying. I can’t help it!
Even in the cold, the bridge was busy, and lined with stands selling prints, photos, and crafts. We each picked out a photo of Prague that we liked. I took about 300 pictures.

little quarter and prague castle

st john nepomuk: rub him for good luck

We found the frieze depicting St John Nepomuk being tossed off the bridge (they really seemed to like tossing people from things in Prague). Tradition states that one should rub him for good luck, so we did. He’s all polished from all the good luck he’s been distributing over the years.

people seem to pet the dog too!

grand priory mill (little quarter)

little quarter bridge tower

We walked down to the other end in the Little Quarter, then headed back across to Old Town. I took 300 more photos, and the bridge got even more crowded in the ten minutes since we’d gotten there.

Also, we couldn’t resist talking about the movie XXX and Vin Diesel a lot while we were there. I mean, it was all about Prague. Shut up.

the vlatava river

For some reason, my phone only picked up T-Mobile while we were in metro stations, and on the Charles Bridge. Otherwise it was OSKAR. I was happy when I could get T-Mobile, because that meant I could send photos to the interweb, and let people know we were alive. I sent four of them from the bridge.

musicians on the charles bridge

st norbert, st wenceslas, and st sigismund

We went back to Old Town and headed back into the main shopping area. By now, it was BUSY. There were tourists everywhere doing their tourist thing. It was hard not to trip on the cobblestones when walking in a crowd, I noticed. On Charles Street, I had to buy a bunch of tshirts and other things by Fun Explosive. It’s a miracle I only bought five shirts, because I wanted fifty.

We did much, much shopping in old town, then found a place for lunch in a side alley off the main square. It was a little Italian restaurant called Giovanni, and in keeping with all our dining experiences, it was awesome. As was the decor: gold-flake ceilings, velvet drapes, mirrors everywhere, an eclectic mix of tables and chairs. I ordered a four-cheese pizza with brie, and Bertine had penne. I got ‘comfort coffee’: a cappuccino with SoCo. SO AWESOME.

vegetarians are HOT.

kafka street

After lunch, having been sufficiently warmed-up, we decided to take our numerous shopping bags back to the hotel. We turned right around and headed back to the same metro stop, but this time turned the other direction into Josefov, the Jewish Quarter. Prague’s Jewish ghetto was enclosed and didn’t become an actual part of the rest of the city until 1850. It’s very crowded.

maisel synagogue

old-new synagogue

The Old-New Synagogue was built in 1270; it’s the oldest in Europe. It’s also the home of Rabbi Löw, who created the Golem and supposedly hid it in the synagogue.

Man, I was really excited about the Golem. That quickly became my second-favorite thing about Prague, after the Charles Bridge. At the gift shop, I got little Golem figures, and a book illustrated by the Fun Explosive people. I really dug the Golem. I couldn’t stop talking about it.

old jewish cemetery

old jewish cemetery

The Old Jewish Cemetery is unbelievable. It’s hard to capture in photos just how crowded it is. It’s about the size of half a city block and has around 12,000 gravestones, but there are supposedly 100,000 people buried there. They charge a lot to visit it, but it’s absolutely worth it.

rabbi löw’s tomb

people leave pebbles and coins as a sign of respect

kafka statue

We walked around the rest of Josefov, getting lost a lot. There’s something about the combination of winding, dead-ending streets and alleys and the fact that it takes a lot of work to actually find street signs that made getting around in both cities a challenge. Organic cities are always hard to navigate. We finally found the Spanish Synagogue, but I was more excited about the Kafka statue. Kafka is definitely my third-favorite thing about Prague. It makes me happy being somewhere he was.

wenceslas square

We took the metro over to Wenceslas Square, which is best known for being the site of anti-Soviet riots. We were pretty exhausted from walking in the cold all day, so we decided to stop at McDonald’s and go to the bathroom. For some reason, I guess I’m OK with going to McDonald’s in Europe. We got Coke Lights and Spinach and Cheese pockets, which were dangerously close to real food. We warmed up. I went on a long journey to find the bathroom, because they’re hardly ever nearby. This one was out back in a courtyard. I paid my 5Kc, and got a McDonald’s receipt in return.

We set off up Wenceslas Square, then started to realize maybe we weren’t in the right place. We turned around and walked back. At McDonald’s, we turned left and then found ourselves in Wenceslas Square. Which really isn’t much of a square at all, it’s just a really wide, divided street with a bunch of stores. It was somewhat similar to the area near our hotel: fancy shops and restaurants. There were carts and booths set up in the middle, and it was quite crowded.

jan palach memorial

We walked down to the end near the opera and museum, and stopped to see the memorial to anti-Soviet protesters. Standing at the high end of Wenceslas square, overlooking the crowd, we decided we were cold and worn out. [And, according to this movie, I really wanted coffee.] We hopped on the metro at Muzeum and rode back to Andel.

dinner!

We decided to buy food and hang out in our room instead of dining out this time. We stopped at the Target of Prague (Carrefour), and scoured the grocery. For ourselves, we got a few kinds of fresh bread, cheese, snacks, Squash-brand cherry vodka (which was only twice the price of pop, as liquor is super-cheap in Europe), Coke Light, and a beer. We also bought a ton of candy to bring back home to everyone. Kinder eggs are always an especial favorite.

We brought our haul back to the hotel, noting on the way that Humanic really looked like it might be open in time for us to shop there. We ate dinner, drank Coke Light with cherry Squash, and watched the Simpsons dubbed in German. Which was hysterical. My favorite part was Mr. Burns answering the phone, “Oy-oy.” We also watched parts of Aliens in Czech, Big Brother in Czech, and then MTV Made in German. We almost died when we saw it was a story about a kid in Minneapolis wanting to be a rapper. They showed scenes of Uptown, and his hip-hop mentor was wearing a Pizza Luce tshirt. So bizarre.

We slept hard that night in our twin beds with the blankets so narrow you had to be careful your ass didn’t hang out.

Saturday morning, we metroed our way over to Malá Strana, or the Little Quarter. The sun came out!!

tram

We had the option of climbing up to the castle or taking the tram. Hello, tram. We’d only walked about 4,000 miles already. In the cold.

st vitus’ cathedral

We got there right as the castle (Pražský Hrad) opened. We would discover later that this was a most excellent plan.

The centerpiece of the castle is St. Vitus’ Cathedral. It’s too monstrous for photos. I’ve never see a church that big. It was begun in 925 by St. Wenceslas. 1,000 years later, it was completed.

st vitus’ cathedral

We bought tickets for the tour, because that was the only way to get into the crypt. How could you not go into the crypt? Well, it included other important things, too, but mostly the crypt.

altarpiece

As with all the churches we had visited, no photography was allowed. Hence the crappy quality. It’s not like that really stops me, but I have to be quick.

st vitus’ cathedral

We saw the tomb of Good King Wenceslas. The book even pointed out the ornate door handle to which he clung while being murdered by his own brother. Hey, at least he didn’t get tossed out of something. Most others did, from what I hear.

crypt

The crypt was very quiet, but not terribly spooky. They had some of the pieces of the original church there, and also the tombs of the royal people not important enough to get a spot on the main floor.

royal tombs

stained glass window

tomb of st john nepomuk

We saw the tomb of the little man we rubbed for good luck. You’re not allowed to rub his solid-silver coffin for good luck, though. The guards would defenstrate you with a quickness.

rose window

While surreptitiously taking photos in the cathedral, I tried to blend in with a busload of Japanese tourists. Then I realized I was a head taller than all of them. I fail at blending.

st vitus’ cathedral

royal palace

gold mosaic on st vitus’ cathedral

The south-facing side of the cathedral is the most interesting. One face of it has a giant gold mural, that seems not in keeping with the rest of it. Even the windows have gold accents, whereas they don’t on the rest of the building. Also, there’s a large gate decorated with the signs of the zodiac.

gemini!

This is the side that faces the palace, which pretty much takes up the whole south wall of the castle.

golden lane

Our tour included Golden Lane, which was also critically important to me, because Kafka had lived there for a few years. It was originally built for the palace guards, but became a slum until they cleaned it up and made it all nice and touristy. Now it’s a series of souvenir shops. It’s very cute. The houses are painted in a rainbow of colors, and don’t seem like the kind of thing you’d find in a castle.

franz kafka lived here

ego

I’m not sure what this sculpture is about. It doesn’t really fit, and I can’t find anything about it. It’s right outside Dalibor Tower, near the back of the castle.

We had coffee and went to the bathroom with the Japanese tourists, then saw Dalibor Tower, where they would lock prisoners in a deep underground dungeon to starve to death.

view of the little quarter from the castle

I haven’t mentioned yet that Prague has an Eiffel Tower, too. It’s on the hill in the distance, hiding behind those trees.

looking south

looking east

looking northeast

I’ve heard Prague is always hazy like this. There’s definitely a lot of air pollution. By the end of the trip, I thought I was getting a cold. I was coughing, sniffling, and my throat hurt.

In the far-off distance in this photo is the Soviet-era TV tower. A modern artist was hired to spice it up; it now sports gigantic babies crawling up and down the legs. It’s really freaky. [here’s a movie of the view]

vladislav hall (royal palace)

Of course we had to check out the palace, if only because it had stairs specially-designed for horses. This hall supposedly looked like a giant market in the olden days. In fact, I bet it was exactly like the Christmas Festival in Old Town Square. I hope, at least. Wait, we haven’t gotten there yet.

horse stairs!

My favorite spot in the palace (besides the horse-stairs), was the site of the DEFENESTRATION. I’ve always loved that word. Hell, I’ve always loved that concept. They have a term for tossing people out windows!! Turns out that word originated here, with the infamous defenestration of 1618. The dudes survived by landing in a dung heap. Just FYI.

Wait, can we just review why Praha is the coolest? Golem, defenestration, Kafka, horse stairs, people being tossed from bridges, Pilsner, and Squash-brand cherry vodka for, like, $4. Granted, Budapest did have a holy hand. That’s nothing to shake a stick at.

crowd outside st vitus’ cathedral

We walked back up towards the front gates of the castle, and holy crap. There were a million people there. We were really glad we got there early.

We bought a ton of stuff at the castle gift shop. I got a tarot deck with Prague scenes on it, and a bunch of gifts.

us, reflected

my favorite photo: restaurant on hradcanske námestí

We walked up the hill through Hradcany, the little town that had sprung up around the castle. It’s mostly tourist-oriented now: fancy hotels and restaurants. And also a famous pilgrimage site, the Loreto.

the loreto

The Loreto was specifically built to attract people on pilgrimage, so it’s way over-the-top. I had to really sneak photos in this place, because the guards were vehement.

santa casa

The centerpiece of the place is the Santa Casa. It’s supposed to be a replica of the house the Virgin Mary lived in when visited by the angel. I didn’t really understand it until I went inside: it looks like a little cottage on the inside, as opposed to the weird Greek monument it appears to be externally.

At the Loreto, we had one of the creepiest moments of the trip. In the main chapel, the Church of the Nativity, they have several relics, including skeletons that are fully clothed and have wax faces molded on. While I was being consumed with horror over those, Bertine was having a panic attack over the cherubs. They were evil, demonic-looking cherubs. They were unbelievably scary.
There was a guard standing at the back of the chapel, yelling at people with cameras. I had mine up my sleeve, but didn’t dare. It absolutely killed me that I could not photograph one of the scariest things on Earth.

[Note: I have this described as such in my journal: scary² cherubs! Also, here’s a fascinating movie of me writing in my journal]

statues outside the loreto

looking toward the castle from the loreto

changing of the guard

We got back down to the castle in time to see the changing of the guard. There was a huge crowd there. Afterwards, we decided to walk down the massive staircase to the Little Quarter.

view from the castle gates

archbishop’s palace

bundled up

steps to little quarter

looking up towards the castle

We were really glad we’d chosen not walk up. There’s a limit to how much two people can move in a week’s time. Not surprisingly, even with all the awesome food we ate, I lost weight in Europe. So much exercise!

puffy!

We explored the little quarter, which is mostly shops and restaurants and a very steep hill. There’s a cute little Italian neighborhood there. We stopped for lunch at an overtly-touristy place that cost way too much, but the food was great as always. I had blini-like pancakes with spinach, garlic, and cheese, and Bertine had broccoli gratin. We had Pilsners, because finally we had made one critically-important realization about the dehydration situation: drink beer. It’s even cheaper than pop by volume, and you get a glass so large you’ll be lucky to be able to drink it all. Problem solved.

near the church of st. nicholas

plague column

statue of st. cyril in the church of st. nicholas

old engraving in the wooden railing upstairs

We toured the baroque Church of St. Nicholas, which was quite a change from the gothic cathedral we’d seen that morning. It was all gold and (fake) marble, and warm colors. The dome is one of the best-known landmarks on the west side of the Vltava River.

church of st. nicholas

nerudova street

We shopped in the Little Quarter. It was much like shopping in Old Town. We stopped at a little shop to buy a tiny bottle of absinthe. How can you be there and not try it?

beethoven plaque on the house at the golden unicorn

We got a little confused by the Wallenstein Palace and walked into some highly-secured building. The guards looked at us funny and directed us to the right place. There was a line outside, and we’d kind of seen enough in terms of palaces already. We decided to cross the river back to Old Town.

charles bridge

little quarter and castle

old town bridge tower

old town hall

We walked all the way back to Old Town Square, which felt like quite a ways. We were thrilled to see that the Christmas festival had begun!!

the christmas festival

The booths had either food or crafts and souvenirs. The very first booth we saw had roasted chestnuts. I was ecstatic.

choir in old town square

jan hus monument

We circled the festival, checking it all out. There was a raised bridge in the center, so people could climb up and see the whole thing from above. There was a little nativity-like petting zoo, a giant Christmas tree, and a choir performing all day. We nearly died of excitement when we saw the carp pond on the map. However, it was too early in the season to buy your Christmas carp. We missed out.

jan hus with the church of st nicholas in the background

potato pancakes, sausages, and such

We tried everything there. I had potato cakes kind of like latkes, with fennel in them. Bertine had a sausage wrapped in a potato pancake. I finished up the chestnuts and had a cappuccino. Our very favorite thing, though, was a grilled pastry they were making on round rollers. (We just called it ‘circle’, as in, “Where are people getting those circles?”) They were so good.

grilled pastries

I wanted to come back and see the festival after dark, so we had an hour to kill. We decided to take our stuff back to the hotel. On the way, we discovered to our vast delight that Humanic had indeed opened just for us.

Bertine bought a pair of shoes. I bought boots and clogs. They’re fabulous, and also cheap. I really wish we had that store in America.

church of st nicholas

We went back out around 7:30 to see Old Town Square lit up. It was just starting to snow big, puffy flakes. It was beautiful.

old town square

The choir was singing Carmina Burana. I made a little video of the scene.

old town hall

We walked around for a while, and I discovered that delayed flash takes good snow-pictures! And then we headed back to the hotel.

church of st nicholas again

staromestská metro station [here’s a movie of this same thing]

We went back to the Turkish place for dinner again. I had a falafel sammich, and she had gyros. We stopped at the Target of Prague again lest we have missed anything exciting before we left. I was sad that we were wrapping it up so soon.

We went back to the hotel, determined to try the absinthe. We split the little bottle (one should be careful with supposed neurotoxins, I hear), watered it down, and added fake sweetener in place of the sugar. It tasted horrible. Like Jagermeister, but worse. It really didn’t do anything for us, but I suspect that was the very small quantity. Hey, we tried it!

Sunday morning, we got up at 6:30 and finished packing up. We had awesome bread and cheese and muesli with yogurt for the last time. Sad. We checked out and headed to the metro. Flaunting the rules yet again, I did not buy a 10Kc ticket for my suitcase. I’m a scofflaw.

Because it was hard to find this information anywhere, and the travel guide says to take the shuttle to the airport, I’m here to tell you it’s easy to take public transportation. Take the green line to Dejvická, then the 119 bus from that stop to the airport. Technically it should be two 20Kc tickets, but we were stupid tourists and just had one. It only takes about 20 minutes to get to the airport from the end of the metro line.

We checked in at the airport, and for some reason, they could issue me a boarding pass for the connecting flight in Amsterdam, but not Bertine. We were pretty early, so we bought snacks in the airport, and sat and had coffee. Near the gate, I was picking through my coins and bills, and realized I had one of everything but the 50Kc bill. Bertine ran and bought me a sudoku book, and paprika chips for herself, just so I could have that bill.

As in Budapest, we got to take a fat bus to the plane out on the tarmac. I almost started crying as I walked up the steps and got on the plane.

praha airport

The flight was late, and we only had an hour layover in Amsterdam to begin with. Captain Dykstra got on the intercom and said, “We do our very best to fly as fast as possible to get you to Amsterdam on time.” I loved Captain Dykstra. The flight on Czech National Airlines was supposed to be 1:30, but we made it in an hour and ten minutes.

We went to the transfer desk at Schipol to get Bertine’s pass and were told that the place was already boarding, an hour early. That seemed strange. We went through security at the gate and were interrogated by the agents there, as expected. They examined our passports twice, and then right as I was supposed to board the plane, they pulled me aside and checked my passport again. I figured that meant I was flagged at customs in the US, the bastards.

The DC-10 was booked full. Bertine and I were seated far apart, both in the annoying center 5-seat section, but the guy next to me agreed to trade with her. At least we got to sit together. We went through the same snack, pop, dinner, pop, coffee routine, but it didn’t do much to pass the time. We watched Fantastic 4 and The Honeymooners, which made me want to slit my throat twice. It was hot, and felt like the longest flight ever. Finally, the giant map popped back up on the screen, and we were over Michigan. In less than an hour, we were home.

We really had no trouble with customs in the US. The guy asked me if I had any liquor; I told him I had an empty absinthe bottle. In the meantime, Bertine was carrying through a big bag of Czech and Hungarian liquor, and they didn’t even ask her about it.
The first thing we did after the baggage claim was stop at Starbucks. Europe ain’t never heard of ‘grande’.

[Thanks to Bertine for all the movies!]