Matt and I arrived at the airport around 2pm, cleared security, and paid a visit to Granddaddy’s Bar, a tradition that makes every flight more tolerable. We giggled at Skymall for three hours, and arrived at Sea-Tac around 6pm. Steve and Colleen were waiting to sweep us away to their apartment overlooking downtown Seattle.

seaplanes fly very close to their rooftop.

We had cocktails on the roof of their building, then headed to Mama’s Mexican Kitchen for dinner. We dined in the Elvis room in back.

We went to a bar called Shorty’s for drinks and pinball, then hung out in the back room for a while because it had the awesomest bar stools I’d ever seen. We couldn’t even sit in them because they were full, but even looking at them was way too exciting. Our bar will definitely have pimp chairs such as those.

We moved along to the NiteLite, a place that was disturbingly empty for a bar around midnight, but they had cheap drinks and a standalone naked ladies game I couldn’t figure out how to play. We had a round of shots and Long Islands, and when Steve went back for another round, he was denied. The old lady behind the bar told him there was a limit of one per person (even though they’d given him another, just not an entire round). He told me that I should try to get others at the bar, but we were denied again. Incensed that we’d been cut off (and not even from drinking, just from one beverage in particular), we decided to go elsewhere.

Elsewhere was the Whisky Bar, mostly because we liked the name. We did not indulge, thankfully (Matt and I had water), and we had some discussion about the fact they were playing Bon Jovi’s Runaway, although we don’t remember what we were debating, exactly.

We decided to take the bus home, except it never really worked out that way. We definitely stood at the bus stop for a while, then started walking. Eventually, Matt and Colleen became trapped in a cabinet we found outside a restaurant.

After that, we ran though sprinklers outside a building, and all ended up with very wet pants. Which is not terribly comfortable when you still have several blocks to walk, dudes. Remember that.

Saturday morning, we went down to Bumbershoot to pick up mainstage tickets, then visited the Space Needle. Matt and I had been there before, but Colleen and Steve hadn’t.

Steve and Colleen had to run home briefly, so Matt and I bought half the inventory in the gift shop and then went and laid in the grass underneath it. It was gorgeous outside, and I could’ve stayed there all day.

We had lunch at the Mecca Cafe (where Steve ordered french toast and a gimlet), then walked back to their apartment to hang out for a while.

Later in the evening, we went back down to Seattle Center to see Gogol Bordello’s set. I hadn’t seen them before, and loved it. Afterward, we headed back toward Steve and Colleen’s place, to a bar called Paddy Coyne’s. They didn’t know of the wonder of the Johnny Jump-Up, so we were only happy to spread the love to the city of Seattle.

Sunday morning, we took the monorail down to the market.

colleen and steve

We had brunch at the Athenian Inn, an old restaurant inside the market, and then wandered around until it was time to go back to Seattle Center. We hopped on a bus and rode up to see the Kings of Leon, one of my favorite bands. I saw them many moons ago at Bonnaroo, and at the Fine Line in Minneapolis.

Then we all crowded into a smallish building (I didn’t know they had indoor shows there!) to see Bouncing Souls. My favorite part, of course, was when they did ‘Argyle’, the song P.O.S. covers in ‘De La Souls’.

We then herded into the mainstage area to see Sean Paul, followed by Fergie. First of all, I did not realize I knew at least half of Sean Paul’s songs. I’ve danced to all of them many times, in bars and barefoot on streets throughout the land. His set was pretty awesome, if populated mainly by 15-year-old girls. Seriously, I went to the bathroom and realized I was twice as old as every girl in there, and half of them were drunk on smuggled beer. They’d be passing out by 11pm for sure.

And then, there was Fergie.

Thing is, I don’t really like Fergie. I’ve obviously danced to ‘London Bridge’ and ‘Fergalicious’ a minimum of 50 times apiece, because that’s just dance music. But when I heard she’d be playing there, of course I had to see her. How could I miss that opportunity? It’s not like I’m going to pay for tickets to her shows.

The first part was as expected: all her radio songs, and three costume changes (in a one-hour set). She was apparently doing hand-springs and such, but we were too far away to really be able to see much. Towards the end, she yelled, Do you want to rock?? Of course we wanted to rock, at least until we found out what she meant.

She launched into ‘Barracuda’ by Heart. It was definitely out-of-place, but not totally wrong for her; she had the voice for it, at least. I was amused knowing that probably 90% of the people there had never heard the song before, since they weren’t even born then. At the end of the song, she shouted, You know where you are? You’re in the jungle, baby! You gonna DIIIIIIEEEE!

Our minds were blown. We barely even absorbed the fact that she also covered ‘Rehab’ by Amy Winehouse. We felt like we were broken, and stumbled out after the show, stunned.

We walked toward Belltown and decided to go to Cyclops, Colleen’s dad’s favorite bar. It had an awesome interior, even more awesome bartenders (I loved the girl who called us lovebirds because she kept seeing us making out), and a strangely mixed crowd.

We spend a good portion of our time there watching a couple dudes putting the hardcore mack down on two willing girls. They swooped in with a bucket of Rainier, most of which was consumed by the little guy, who we named ‘Limpy’, due to the fact that his friend was obviously going to get all the play when he was unable to perform. We could only see the other dude from the back, but he was clearly a giant, so Steve named him Frankenstein. I loved their antics, especially when Limpy would start to doze off clutching his beer bottle, then spring awake to make another sly move on the ladies.

We left as the bar was closing, and unfortunately did not get to see the outcome of their efforts. However, we’re pretty sure the score was Frankenstein 2, Limpy 0.

sophie the monorail cat

Monday morning (well, more like afternoon), we at the 5-Point. It’s owned by the same people who run the Mecca Cafe, only it’s very near Seattle Center. It’s also open 24 hours, so you can drink til 2am, sober up for a few hours, then start drinking again at something like 6am.

They have a periscope in the men’s room so that dudes can look at the Space Needle while they’re peeing. AWESOME.

We went back downtown to stock up on supplies at Lush. The girl working there said they’d be opening a store in Minneapolis soon! Yay!

matt and steve at the first starbucks

We did some more wandering around the market, then went down to the waterfront. We spent a very long time shopping at a pirate store, and then it was time to head back to Bumbershoot to see Lyrics Born.

puget sound

lyrics born callin’ out

Lyrics Born is always amazing, dudes. I’ve seen him four times now, always in the most awesome circumstances: closing down the Hip Hop n’ Harmony festival, at Foundation, in the front row at Lollapalooza. He’s coming back to Minneapolis this fall, and I can’t wait. He has the greatest energy.

After the show, we waited in line at the record company booth to meet him, but they booted us out of line because we wouldn’t buy a CD (I have it already), and he’d only be there for 20 minutes. LAME. At least I got this picture.

lyrics born

We shopped at the extensive craft fair, then made our way over to the 7-11 near the Space Needle for Slurpees (fun fact: 7-11 has sugar-free Slurpees! VERY EXCITING.) We were carrying flasks full of Malibu because we’re way classy, and mixed ourselves some cocktails right at the beverage counter.

We made our way to the mainstage and sat in the stands drinking our Slurpees and eating a cube of fries. We saw Lupe Fiasco, who was pretty awesome; I knew most of his stuff because he raps on a lot of Jay-Z and Kanye West tracks.

During the break in between shows, we noticed that a huge group sitting in our section kept cheering at people walking by on the floor, but we had no idea why. It was hysterical because they’d bust out screaming or groaning in disappointment ever minute or so. We finally figured out what it was about: there was a puddle of vomit on the floor, and they were cheering every time someone stepped in it.

It shouldn’t have been so damn funny, but it was. We couldn’t stop watching.

And then? It was time for the Wu-Tang Clan. It was the perfect ending to the festival.

wu-tang clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

Colleen headed home because she had to work in the morning, and Steve and Matt and I went to the Victory Lounge near their house. It was nearly empty, but the bartender was awesome and they had Naked Ladies. We played a few victorious games, then headed over to another bar that we found closed by 1am. What? Instead, we went back to their apartment, got ourselves some beverages, and went up to the roof of the building. It was raining so we couldn’t sit down anywhere; instead we stood under the awning and talked about work. Because we rule.

On Tuesday, Colleen’s dad came to get us for lunch at the Mexican wrestler burrito place, aka Bimbo’s Bitchin’ Burrito Kitchen in Capitol Hill. The burritos were great, and there was a poster in the bathroom for El Suavecito, which I believe should be Matt’s new nickname.

After lunch, Colleen went home to work, and Steve and Matt and I wandered around shopping. I made some very special purchases at Babeland, including panties, which I believe to be the best souvenir ever. We walked back to their apartment just in time to pack up our stuff and get a cab to the airport. I started missing Colleen and Steve the second we left, so I’m pretty sure that means they should move to Minneapolis.

On the flight, I told Matt that it was too bad it was so overcast, or we’d be able to see Mount Rainier again. We ascended through the clouds, and all of a sudden, there it was!