To my neighbor down the street:
As I was driving down the block this morning, I noticed some usual activity in the vicinity of your front yard. It wasn’t the huge truck and trailer blocking half the street, the backhoe in your driveway, or even the towering pile of dirt even taller than you. It was the large cement container. You know, the one that looked disturbingly similar to a cemetery vault. As I drove back down the street about ten minutes later, the vault had disappeared into a large rectangular hole in the ground. You were staring into it wistfully as the backhoe driver climbed into his seat.
Now, I’m not one to probe too deeply into my neighbors’ business, but I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. I hate to threaten, but I will call the city if I have to. You have to understand that when it comes to burying bodies in the yard, I plan on keeping my corner on the market.
Sincerely,
Jenni