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To Northland Plaza: I have a slight issue with one of your maintenance men. This is not a complaint, since I’ve given up complaining for this year. Specifically, I’m wondering if this particular person has it out for me (I’m recalling a specific incident involving me, the back hallway, phone sex, and him lurking quietly around the corner), or if ...

Nothin’ Special

Dear Diary, Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m nothing special. It’s good to keep this in mind during those times I begin to think that I’m really accomplished at an activity, or that I have something important and distinct to offer the world. Once one gets to thinking that way, the next step is to convince themselves they’re ...

Sedatives. Please.

To the Medical Establishment: I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m afraid of you. Like most people, I’ve always been a little bit leery of doctors. Recently, it’s started to develop into more of a phobia, and I don’t know why. I think it has something to do with having surgery earlier this year. I was in the hospital for ...

Remembrance of Things Past

Dear Heather, You are my long-term memory. For someone who notices far too many details, I have an appallingly bad memory. Once events age past a certain date (say, over a week), I start to forget them. People and places blend and fade. This is especially true of the block of time that constitutes our early twenties, although I think ...