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I love you.

No, wait! Come back!

Seriously, it’s one of those days. All you freaks who I encounter on a regular basis on the streets of this fair city, I love you. If you’re funny-lookin’, eccentric, or even just a little unbalanced, you’re my kinda folk. If you catch me staring and smiling, it’s out of affection. For real.

So, this weekend, I went to a going-away party for a couple of coworkers. It’s the only kind of party we’ve had for the past two years, but this one was not to be missed for the sheer volume of gossip and self-loathing. I talked to many ex-coworkers I hadn’t seen in a long time, and none of them have 1) committed suicide, 2) declared personal bankruptcy, or 3) been reduced to accepting a job as a greeter at Wal-Mart, so that’s encouraging, at least. Things aren’t great in the tech world, my droogies. I’m devoting more time to my portfolio as of late.

At the same party, I had an encounter with an old friend. After hugging me for waaay too long, waaaaay too tightly, he held my wrists and wouldn’t let go, despite the HR lady slapping him away, yelling, “Don’t touch! Don’t touch!!” Apparently, one of my failings is that I’m too polite to struggle. And I thought once he quit I’d have no need of that stun gun I was going to order. Time to rethink.

In other news, I’ve been really, really busy lately. In the six weeks sandwiched between the Deep South Road Trip and the Depraved European Adventure, I’ve gotten kind of booked up. But productivity seems to be creating its own spare time, and it’s working out well. I’m much happier not having a spare moment to contemplate what happens next.

And Europe. The hotels are booked, the plane tickets purchased, and the frequent flier miles already banked. I’ll be calling tonight to reserve our Citroen Xantia (or possibly an Opal Vectra, if the mood strikes). Heather’s getting a crash course in driving a manual transmission, although I’m partial to a trial-by-fire on the autobahn. She’s also avidly studying the phrasebook, while I’m just going to stick to the one most important sentence I can think of: “Officer, can’t we just work this out right here and now?”

Yours in solidarity,

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