Go Tits!

To my coworkers:

I don’t usually encounter many of you on the way into the office in the morning, but today I came in at just the right time, as a couple big meetings adjourned. As I passed and greeted several of you in the hallway and kitchen, I quickly became aware of an unplanned competition: in the eye contact game, my boobs are beating my eyes by a 2-to-1 margin.

You’re going to have to try harder if you want to make the Olympic team.


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