Hi there.
I’m feeling the need to update here, because I left off on a down note last time around. You know, unemployed, destitute, freaking out, etc. Remember? Alright then. So, it’s really not all that bad. I’m busier in the past few days than I was while employed. It’s a good mix of work (I have some freelance projects underway), jobhunting, getting financial affairs in order, working out, and hanging out with people I like a lot. I’ve heard from friends I haven’t talked to in months, and the show of support is nothing less than inspiring. It makes a girl feel very happy, and a lot more secure. I keep thinking back to what happened on Friday, when I got the big announcement. I never, ever would have expected to have the reaction I did. I had fair warning Thursday night, and marched into the office the next day grinning, carrying grocery bags to haul my belongings out the door. Part of it was just attitude, sort of a ‘fuck off, nothing can surprise me anymore.’ But most of it was relief over having resolution, finally knowing how the story ends. At any point in the last two years, I could’ve found another job. I knew that the instability and eventual catastophe were the price I would pay for my really good working arrangement, and I was willing to accept that. So I decided that I was going to stick around and see it through to the bitter, ugly end. And as far as that goes, I got my money’s worth. I don’t regret a thing. It ended up being painless and freeing. I realized that after all those miserable months of worrying, waiting for the other shoe to drop, that by the time it happened, I had forgotten to listen for it. I went out of town with my mom and sister over the weekend, and I think it was the perfect thing for me. I spent a lot of time talking about it, thinking, and laughing. I vacillated between panic and euphoria. It was mostly euphoria; I realized that I’m really excited about my options at this point. And one of those is to just not go back to a regular job. I don’t know. It’s something I’m going to figure out, though. I’m not sure what changed recently, but I know that if I had found out even three months ago that I was losing my job, I’d be a basket-case right now. Yeah, I’m not thrilled about having a good chunk of stability pulled out from under us, but something tells me that this is a huge opportunity, and that it might be a mistake to just rush back into the same routine without seriously considering other options. And right now, it seems like there are a million of them. It’s kind of exciting. Jenni