Dear Friends:
If I hate the days where I’m at the mercy of my own hormones, I really hate the days where I’m under the control of hormones that don’t even belong to me. The ones that are currently leaching their way into my body via a plastic patch on my ass. I decided to switch to the Ortho-Evra patch a couple weeks ago. For some reason, I had started to forget my pills. The patch is easy. Every week, I slap one on my butt cheek, and don’t think about it until the next Monday. Then I remove it, scrub off the attractive, sticky, grey ring, and apply a new one to the other side. I knew, of course, that there would be side effects from changing to a new prescription. There always are. In this case, the funniest one I’ve noticed is that the patch makes my nipples sore, but only on the side with the patch. Last week, it was the right, and this week it’s the left. I guess it could be worse. Oh, wait! It is worse. See, I’m also experiencing my very favorite side-effect, the mood swings. It’s like PMS, only then I tend to go back and forth every 5 or 10 hours. Now, it’s like every 5 or 10 minutes. I go from euphoria to rage within seconds. It’s dramatic and ugly. Luckily, it happens so quickly, that by the time I’ve begun the elaborate ritual suicide preparations, I’ve swung back to happy, and all is well again. I feel like I’ve probably apologized enough for my erratic behavior in the past, so just refer back to previous posts if you want to see it again. I just thought I should let you know, and I’m sure it’ll work itself out soon. On the bright side, I’m feeling better today because of a few things. First of all, I’ve been superproductive. My old company has a new project for me, and I’m back to writing scripts and queries and building database tables just like back in the day. It’s a positive thing, because it reminds me that I’m still really good at something. I was working on a file that I realized I had written three years ago, almost to the day. It was still good code: fast and clean and efficient. If you’re super-geeky, you know what a beautiful thing that is. Simplicity is perfection. Also, I’ve been working out a lot to try to overcome the hormone thing. Endorphins are my friends. Yesterday, I walked six miles and did 90 minutes of circuit training. I didn’t feel like lifting at all, but I pushed through it and felt way better afterwards. It was one of those nights where the class had this intense camaraderie, mutually enjoying the suffering of 2 full minutes of the plank in a way-too-hot room. I’ve been working on evening out my arms: I can curl 15lbs easily with my right, but it’s a struggle to do 30 reps with the left. I could feel a huge difference last night. Also, I think maybe I’m in love with Sandi, my instructor. Platonic teacher love, that is. You know. When I turned on my email this morning, there was a message from an old friend we haven’t seen in a long time. He moved to LA several years ago, and we lost touch. I had just been thinking about him while I was out there on vacation, and tried unsuccessfully to contact him during the little time I spent in LA. Hearing from him this morning totally made my day. Lastly, I was a little depressed about how quickly summer is changing to fall. It’s windy and rainy here, and there are already some leaves on the ground. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself when it gets too cold to go outside. But I realized, like all things, it’ll work out. It’s not good or bad, just different. And that’s what keeps things interesting. Jenni