To Northland Plaza:

I have a slight issue with one of your maintenance men. This is not a complaint, since I’ve given up complaining for this year. Specifically, I’m wondering if this particular person has it out for me (I’m recalling a specific incident involving me, the back hallway, phone sex, and him lurking quietly around the corner), or if my distress is merely a byproduct of his overdiligence. Here is a transcript of our conversation from last Friday.

Him: I’m going to open these vents. (points to ceiling above Dave’s desk)
Me: OK. Will that make it warmer or cooler?
Him: Cooler. I’m opening the vents.
Me: Is there any way to avoid that? I have to run my space heater all day as it is.
Him: It’s 76 in here.
Me: I’m cold all the time.
Him: It’s 76 in here.
Me: Did someone complain?
Him: No, but it’s 76 in here. (turns digital thermometer towards me: 75.8) See, it’s 76.
Me: Right, but…
Him: We like to keep the offices at 72.
Me: It’s cold in here. And if no one has complained–
Him: What about this guy? (points at Dave’s chair) Do you know who he is?
Me: (pause) Um, yes.
Him: We should ask him.
Me: He’s out of town until next Friday.
Him: We should ask him. I mean, all this computer equipment. It’s 76 in here.

It seems too clueless to be calculated, but perhaps that’s his genius. Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is this: it’s cold in here. Could you get someone to turn up the heat?


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