To my Coworkers: Hi. We’ve been talking a lot lately, huh? Are you paying attention? I have more to say. Yesterday was Sandra’s birthday. Yes, the receptionist, the one always has something friendly to say to everyone, which is more than the rest of us can manage. The one who makes sure you have a fully-stocked fridge, coffee all day ...

Hey. I love you. No, wait! Come back! Seriously, it’s one of those days. All you freaks who I encounter on a regular basis on the streets of this fair city, I love you. If you’re funny-lookin’, eccentric, or even just a little unbalanced, you’re my kinda folk. If you catch me staring and smiling, it’s out of affection. For ...

To my coworkers: I don’t usually encounter many of you on the way into the office in the morning, but today I came in at just the right time, as a couple big meetings adjourned. As I passed and greeted several of you in the hallway and kitchen, I quickly became aware of an unplanned competition: in the eye contact ...

To My Employer: I have decided that from now on I will only be coming into the office late at night. Not only do I get a hell of a lot more work done, I actually enjoy my time spent here. Granted, when I came in at 9pm on this fine Saturday evening, my office was 85 degrees. I’m a ...