Ladies and Gentlemen:
I’m so not even making an effort to structure this in any way. jenni ripley: wholeheartedly halfassed. First, I went to work: I had trouble focusing. I only got four hours of sleep.
Fig. 1: Indication that Jenni needs to stop testing this form and go to lunch.
Second, I went to an interview: I love interviews. I guess I like to talk about myself. Go figure. The business cards went over extremely well in their first real professional application. Third, I got coffee: Is the entire population of the US crabby today or what? On the way back, I was thinking about a new word I intend to popularize. It’s going to go over well with the evening-news crowd, I just know it. The word is brightside. An example, courtesy of Heather:
Newsguy Ken: The ongoing war in Iraq… brightside it for us, Jim.
Newsguy Jim: Thank you, Ken. Yes, the situation in Iraq seems to have gone from bad to worse, but appearances can be deceiving. An increased use of artillery means we need to replace each of those shells and mortars posthaste. Replacement means jobs, and nothing drives an economy like jobs. Back to you, Ken.
Fourth, I went to the Y: There were two girls on the treadmills in front of the TV broadcasting some special about Britney Spears. They were young enough to still have baby fat, but at the age where their moms become powerless to prevent them from dressing slutty. One of them was wearing tight, lowcut pants with ‘Baby Girl’ scrawled across the ass in glittery cursive. She’d probably find them less cute if she realized they were jerkoff material for the lonely balding guy who cruised by once, twice, then hurried to sign out the exercise bike immediately behind her.
Puke.
Fifth, I came home: And I wanted to work, but I’m still tired. This is holdover from the end of last week and the weekend, during which time I pushed myself way too hard at the gym. Most people see that they’re about to hit a wall and stop; I speed up and take a good hard run at it. And that hurt. My body filed an official complaint, and wished to remind me that no matter how much I don’t feel like it, it is, in fact, thirty years old.
Sixth, I wished all of you a good night.
Good night.Jenni