OK!
I take a lot of shit for my paranoid fears. I think I’ve mentioned here before that now that fear #1 has come to pass (losing my job), the second on the list had taken its place: getting pregnant. See, I had this theory that I was so damn fertile that the laws of physics and birth control were exempted around me. Today, the people at the clinic told me I’m right. I am unusually fertile. So, ha. I’m not so crazy after all. Other people get the flu, I get babies. This also confirms what I have just begun to realize the extent of regarding my six-month personality swap with the dark lord of the underworld. I switched from my low-dose birth control pill I’d been taking for years in May, when I lost my job and my insurance. Planned Parenthood gave me the patch, which releases more hormones, on a par with the normal pill. And my body became very angry with me. I became hateful and evil and paranoid and bitter. I was unmotivated and unhappy and frustrated. I stopped losing weight, even though I was taking in as few calories as a human being should to, you know, stay alive. I thought I was a horrible person for having so much trouble being at work. I thought I had gotten lazy. I was reading evil intentions into other people’s actions and words, and picking fights constantly. I can’t believe I didn’t lose friends over it. When I got insurance again and went back on the pill, all of those things magically went away. I realized I like my job. I like my friends; in fact, I like them even more, considering what they had to put up with. It’s been six weeks, and I’ve lost five pounds without trying very hard. Yeah, I still get angry, but there’s relief in knowing it’s actually me getting angry, and not this irrational urge to hate everything. So, yeah. All men must maintain a distance of at least six feet. I don’t want none of your stinkin’ babies. Oh, except you. In your case, I’ll make an exception. The other thing I learned at the clinic today is that people dig knitters. I hardly got any work done on my felted bag, due to the fact that forty or fifty people wanted to talk all about it. Awesome. Jenni P.S. You can stop your surfing now, because I have located the best site on the internet. Ever.