Hello, internet. How was your holiday? Mine was mas excellente, and here is a list of reasons why:
Tuesday evening, Matt and I went to Keegan’s for dinner and trivia. Now, I am a trivia genius, provided the questions revolve around any of the following: – puffins– geologic history
– 80s television
– fitness and nutrition
– Soviet constructivism
– random bits of music and art history However, this trivia? Did not touch on those topics at all. For the life of me, I will never understand why all trivia is not puffin-themed. But thankfully, Matt knows at least 94% of everything, so we did well. Afterwards, Bill and Cindi and I continued our Tuesday night tradition of ending the night at Town Talk. Wednesday, I realized that I was hosting Thanksgiving dinner the next day, and was completely unprepared in terms of hostesslike items, dishes excepted. I ran to IKEA and bought wine glasses, serving bowls, and a tablecloth, followed by a couple grocery stores (where two overenthusiastic old ladies trailed me around the store presenting me with unhelpful alternatives after I made the mistake of telling them not to worry if they didn’t have lemon oil, I could find it at Kowalski’s; the grocery manager even came up and asked me not to visit their competitor), and the liquor store. I ran home, made three trips hauling stuff inside, then raced over to meet Cindi and Jumi at It’s Greek To Me, where we dined on the half of their appetizer menu that consists primarily of garlic. We smelled so bad it was making me sick to my stomach, so we did the classiest thing we could come up with: walked to SuperAmerica, bought a bottle of Listerine, and shared it out behind the dumpster. We wanted to go in the back alley, but it was fenced off. Jerks. Breath freshened, we headed to the cowboy bar for happy hour, where I did a triple-take over the fact that our round of drinks cost seven dollars. Bill and Katie joined us close to 10pm, and we were once again driven out onto the streets of Minneapolis by the horror that is Shorty and Wag’s Country Bar and Grill Karaoke. We headed to Lyle’s, and ended the evening there instead. Thursday, I made my apartment sparklier than it’s been in an entire year, because at 4pm, it was Thanksgiving Time. The orphans (i.e. Cindi, Chele, and Lara) arrived, everyone bearing enough food to feed the entire neighborhood. Chele brought turkey, gnocchi, and pumpkin pie. Lara brought bread and a gigantic plate of fruit. Cindi made mashed potatoes and Captain Morgan sweet potatoes. We had two kinds of stuffing, two kinds of cranberries, cheese, crackers, nuts, pickles, and four different beverages, including wine and brandy alexanders. We ate only a tiny portion of the massive feast; I think I heard third world nations crying out that night. But oh my god, it was good. Kirby texted shortly after dinner, so I invited him to come over and eat. We sat around the rest of the night answering Trivial Pursuit questions, doing stupid shots containing cranberry sauce and whatever was in the liquor cabinet, and playing giant pick-up sticks, which kept us entertained far longer than it should have. The evening was best summarized by Lara: By the time I left, Chele had been called home by the siren of immediate sleep, Jenni was extolling the virtues of lying right where she was on the hardwood floor and Cindi seemed quite pleased that I’d cleared the Trivial Pursuit box off the couch for as much as to make it easier for her to alight there from the floor. Kirby was still fully upright. Please note: Kirby wins points for not flinching during vagina or penis talk, which is something not always seen in the male of the species. Kirby left around 11, and Cindi and I passed out on the couch and in bed, respectively. Our blissful sleep was only interrupted by the cattle, who decided to knock a vase of flowers onto the floor at 5am, taking Cindi’s stuff with it. The next morning, we spent some time searching the living and dining rooms for her glasses lens. We brunched at Al’s Breakfast, then I went home to do three rounds of dishes. I got bored with the cleaning towards the end, but I had the most exciting event ever as my motivation: the ERECTION OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE. Wait. Um, yeah! That’s right. And here it is!!! I stopped over at Cindi’s to see her Christmas setup, too; she proudly showed me the nativity scene with Baby Jesus nestled in the cozy she’d knitted him at
Jenni