OK, LISTEN!
I don’t want to instigate general panic and chaos, but this fact must be known:THERE IS A ZOMBIE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
I’m not sure what the effective range of a zombie is, so I can’t tell you for sure just how much of the Twin Cities is currently at risk. (I do know that we managed to cover a substantial portion of Northeast in one evening when we were zombies, and we were drunk zombies at that.) Anyway, he was last seen at the intersection of 42nd and Bryant around 11pm last night, trying to gain entrance to a vacant storefront. And, guys, HE REALLY FREAKED ME OUT.
(I confess it’s possible he may have just been drunk or stoned or concussed somehow, but, seriously, he was tall and thin and pale and staggering and goddamn scary, and therefore I’m pretty sure there’s a ZOMBIE IN SOUTHWEST MINNEAPOLIS RIGHT THIS SECOND, and I’m very glad I’m downtown.)
Events leading up to the zombie-sighting: we attended pub quiz at Keegan’s, taking 2nd place in the early round, and not placing in the later one (what??). Twas me and Matt at first, then Jumi, and later Wendy; after trivia, we crossed the street and joined Willis at Nye’s. We were far too excited to discover that Ken Speake‘s going-away party was taking place downstairs, but we decided to wait to crash it. After a run-in with an extremely drunk Iowan woman we tried (successfully? perhaps!) to convince to go to the Double Deuce, Wendy and I decided to go visit the photo booth.
What came out was so amazing we had to drink to it; it’s the most emo picture ever taken of two of the least-emo people on earth. Wendy is wondering why no one can see how she’s dead on the inside, and I’m searching for a razorblade to cut myself just so I can feel. Clearly, we rule.
While suffering the unenthusiastic synth-pop cover band and waiting for the machine to poop out our photos, we noticed that Ken Speake’s party was on TV above our heads, and in real life just beneath our feet. Our minds were truly blown, though we were somewhat disappointed to learn that the party had already dispersed, and the door downstairs was locked.
Sigh. Emo.
And then? Halfway between my house and Matt’s: A ZOMBIE. SERIOUSLY. I’m gonna be watching out for him tonight at Lyle’s. Ain’t no zombie ruining my hockeywatching experience.
In not-undead news, I should like to assert that Picnik is currently the best free service on the entire internet, as it obviates the need for Photoshoppe at work. Also, this is an extremely awesome article, and I believe you should all read it and agree.
And now, dudes, I have to work.Jenni