i want answers.

Queries:

1) Why do machines so often have British accents? Will the robots who someday overtake us sound like the queen?

I especially dislike when the ATM talks to me, because the logical extension of the speaking is the realization that it just vomited a hundred bucks all over my hands.

2) Does the Venn diagram of ‘people with rat-tails’ and ‘NASCAR fans’ look like a donut? Because I know there are NASCAR fans sans tail, but I do not believe the opposite is true. Also, I was pretty sure the rat-tail was the exclusive domain of North Dakota lesbians, but I was proven wrong today by a maintenance guy at the federal courthouse. It was stunning, and I failed at having a camera.

3) There was some discussion on Wendy’s livejournal yesterday about whether or not one could get away with drinking Sparks at work, because it looks just like an energy drink. I decided that I most definitely could! Then I realized I could be sitting here with a bottle of Jack and nobody would notice.

Note to self: it’s experiment time.

4) This is more of a complaint than a query. You know [insert beverage] Girls? Like the Sparks Girls at the Cubby Bear in Chicago, or the O GirlsBoys at the 90s or the Jager Girls who I can’t wait to see tomorrow at Oktoberfest? Now, I know they’re told to go hit up the dudes in the place. Obviously. Dudes like hot girls, and also booze, and they will buy whatever the Girls are selling. The thing is, they should not be ignoring the girls at the bars.

I like boobs. I like free things. And I will also buy your booze! Even if we can’t stop laughing about Sparks, we’ll still continue to buy it afterwards.

And, well, Jagermeister. You know how that goes.

Jenni