Dear Northwest Airlines, I hate you. I love you. I HATE YOU. I hate how you woo me back every time with, “Please, baby, just one more chance? I’ll give you whiskey and a nice meal on real plates with silverware while the poor schmucks in the back have to pay $3 for the red snackbox. I’ll give you your ...

OH, HOW TO BEGIN? Without question, I had the best birthday weekend possible, and that is entirely due to the fact that I have the awesomest friends anyone could be lucky enough to wish for, not to mention an intense dedication to the pursuit of all things convivial. Rather than try to detail it all, I will point you first ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHOCOLATE MUSSOLINI, WHICH TURNS FOUR YEARS OLD TODAY! Me, I’m turning 11 for the third time. Yesterday, we had birthday dinner at the parents’ house. My mom made me The Brick (my traditional sugarfree birthday cake), and we ordered out. In a very surprising turn of events, they gave me money to put towards my skydiving outing. ...

OH HELL NO! This domain was going to expire on Wednesday. Whew! I’m safe for another two years. So, I’d really love to write to you all about the events from last Thursday up until today, but that is a commitment I cannot manage, as I’d be writing for two more days. And then on Wednesday, my post would be ...