My fellow Americans:
If it weren’t for this work thing and the constant flurry of activity, I’d have time to write some of this stuff down. Since I don’t, I’ve made a list of the things I would write about if I had the opportunity. In fact, I’d make them into one giant post for your reading enjoyment. And, believe me, you’d enjoy the hell out of it. That’s because it would feature not one, not two, but all of the following: The disappearing pet;and, the greatest un-death scene ever;
and, gimme a deadline;
and, Maplewoodbury: outer-surbanites and self-absorption + oversized vehicles + sense of entitlement = complete fucking assholes;
and, enthusiastic jailbait;
and, the obscenely swank grocery store;
and, Yuri and the beer of the working class;
and, Crazy Mary;
and, the Tale of Two Volvos;
and, Silas and uninhibited impusiveness and conscious bad-decision-making;
and, my first woodshop project needs googly eyes;
and, Daniel the attorney;
and, statistics are my porn;
and, the local redneck rock radio station rips off Heather’s website;
and, daylight savings = +1 hour at the bar!;
and, self-righteousness / guilty secrets / passing judgement;
and, the clown under the stairs emerges;
and, winter purge + new tenant + shelving turns me on;
and, guilty pop music pleasures;
and, finally, insurance!;
and, worst mixtape ever contest;
and, polka singalong;
and, the perks of being a regular;
and, Jocelyn and Alina (i.e. girls);
and, qotw: ‘boys are dumb and deserve to be treated like sex objects’;
and, in another lifetime (or two);
and, spamatazoa;
and, Kill Bill‘s anime vis-a-vis Cowboy Bebop;
and, the new burlesque;
and, personal trainer: the new fragrance from ralph lauren;
and, the miracle of flaxseed oil;
and, the miracle of spaghetti squash;
and, the newly updated fears list;
and finally, I never want to be too old to not be envious of kids at Halloween. Seriously, you’d be laughing your ass off right now.
Jenni