Aloha.
We’ve been getting ready for the big house party tonight. It’s kind of a low-key production, with tiki crap, amusingly-bad themed food, and the champagne of beers. And it’s cool to get to see all the kids here in one place again. It’s been a while since we all hung out. But it’s such a weird feeling working on this now; it’s like I’m not really here. I don’t feel anything. This isn’t my life anymore. In a month or two, the house will be sold and I’ll be moving. I’ve already packed up a lot of my stuff, and there’s really not a ton that’s important to me. It’s the meaningful things I want to keep; the artwork and the various little items I’ve collected over the years. Stuff I’ve made. And my wienermobile collection, without which I cannot possibly survive. People keep asking me what I’m doing after we sell the house, and I don’t really know for sure. I’m not worried about it at all, which is strange for a habitual planner. I figure I’ll get an apartment in this area and do my thing. This work setup is too good to walk away from easily. And I’ve decided I really love it here. This is my city, and it makes me happy. I travel a lot, and other places make me appreciate my home. My family is here, as are most of my friends. It’s very possible to be happy by yourself, as long as you have really good friends, and I do. I’m not dating right now. I’m not feeling anti-social so much as not very social; it’s a huge change for me. I’m not meeting many people lately because I’m having trouble trusting. I’m sure that’ll go away soon enough. It’s strange how quickly your brain absorbs a new reality, and it only seems surreal in retrospect. It plays games with me sometimes. It thinks it’s so damn smart. Ha. So now I have to go apply to the fire marshal for a special permit for the number of candles we’ll have burning. And then put on that crazy-ass hawaiian-print skirt that will complete surreality for me. I promise there will be no photodocumentary evidence of this particular outfit; it’s a once-in-a-lifetime thang. See you tonight!Jenni