Good eeevening.
**BREAKING NEWS***The Sea-Monkeys have had their first feeding. I inspected them pre-dinner and found there to be at least 5 and no more than 80 of them in there. It’s hard to tell. I have this packet of Sea-Diamonds that came with the set, too; they’re supposed to be some kind of beach-toy-like exercise equipment for the little dudes. I think I’ll wait to add those, as you’re not supposed to play in the water right after eating. The last week or so, I’ve been waking up with a stiff neck. That’s customary for me, because it’s the first thing to bother me when I’m under any kind of stress, which in my life could be something as simple as not having done the dishes the day before. So, stiff neck. This morning, several ninjas burst into my room and engaged me in hand-to-hand combat for 4 hours straight, and I seem to have injured my back/shoulder in the process of defeating them and saving my family’s honor. And by this, I mean that I was pulling off my hoodie to cut the tag out, and hurt myself. I noticed the twinge and thought not a lot about it until a couple of hours later at my desk, when I couldn’t lift my arm or turn my head, and I became obsessed with whether or not I could take painkillers for it. Because you see, I was getting myself tattooed later in the day, and didn’t relish the thought of bleeding out through a million tiny puncture wounds. My sister, the amateur MD, told me I was safe to take Aleve even though I think the FDA recalled it for making people die. It didn’t work at all. I headed over to my tattoo appointment at Kore’s studio, figuring at least that would take my mind off my newly-useless limb. Now, this was my second visit to Kore as a tattoo artist; she also runs the dojo where I took martial arts classes last year until my vertigo knocked me flat on my ass. Let it be noted that I love Kore. She is the most wise, down-to-earth, centered, and yet totally sarcastic and badass* woman I’ve ever met. She’s an inspiration. She’s been a martial artist for 35 years, and is one of those people who has decided to do whatever the hell makes her happy in her life, no matter what. She’s amazing. When I first started that class, I’d come home and regale Scotty with stories of how awesome she was. How proud I was when she complimented me, because she was a master. A couple of the girls there showed me the tattoos she had done for them. We looked through her website. Very soon after that, a birthday card arrived from him, with a gift certificate for her studio. It was the best birthday present ever. We spent days looking for the tattoo. I’d been wanting a gemini symbol forever, but couldn’t find the perfect one. I had a picture in my head and a complete lack of artistic skill. I finally went to my appointment with only a description for her. She had the sketch done in just a few minutes, then spent the next half-hour redrawing it to some exacting specification I couldn’t discern. While she worked, we talked about martial arts class. She said she was disappointed I hadn’t gone back, so I told her about the vertigo upset. The rolling in Judo made me dizzy to the point I couldn’t stand up afterwards. And more than that, the frustration of running up against a physical barrier I had little hope to overcome was hard for me. She told me to come back for Tai Chi and Qi Gong. Her studio is unlike any other tattoo shop I’ve seen. It’s almost mystical, and the feel is much like one gets in the dojo as well, of complete serenity. That’s what she’s about: it’s more than a tattoo, it’s symbolic. It can be healing or sacred. She told me today they’d turn away people they felt were too much drunk-college-kid doing it on an impulse. In the few hours I’ve spent there, we’ve talked about all manner of martial arts training, about meditation and healing, about relationships and families, about feminism and empowerment, and also a lot about Scotty. Because she loves Scotty. But I’ll get back to that in a minute. So back in September, I got my gemini. Unless you know me in person, you haven’t seen the tattoo on the back of my neck. It’s very personal to me. Kore pointed out while she was working on it that Chinese mystics believe evil spirits enter the body through that point on the back of the neck, and that this was like protection. Whether I believe that or not, I figure I can use all the help I can get. At the end of the appointment, she signed and dated the sketch; I sent it to him on the front page of a book I put together for him. She sent him a card to thank him, and we loved her for it. The very best part of all was that not only did he get me my perfect gemini tattoo, I still had half a gift certificate left to use. When I told Homie the other night that I had another appointment with Kore, she said she could see that coming. Apparently, I’d started talking about tattoos again a couple months ago (come to think of it, it’s probably when I took my eyebrow ring out and decided I was done with piercing). She knew it was a matter of time. I think that’s hysterical. I’m predictable with my cravings! I didn’t expect to get an appointment so soon, and I think it’s awesome it ended up being the day before his birthday. We were both so excited we couldn’t wait. As usual, I had about 500 half-formed tattoo ideas, some of them good, most of them future-regretworthy. Looking around, I found a wristband I knew immediately must be mine. I got there today and sat in the lobby filling out my form. Art was doing his strange friendly-lecture thing which I’m completely unable to describe, except I find it so amusing I can barely keep from laughing. The first several times I spoke to him on the phone, I couldn’t tell if I was speaking to a man or a woman. (This is completely in keeping with her studio, which lists ‘transgender’ along with ‘female/male’ on the form. And yes, ‘female’ is first. She also asks your zodiac sign.) All I knew was that all my statements were being rebutted in a severely crabby, precise, and yet somehow friendly manner. Like, if anyone else spoke to you in that way, you’d have punched them in the throat, but he gets away with it. So while I sat there, Art friendly-lectured me about how my driver’s license number was now completely different, did you see it doesn’t start with the first letter of your last name anymore, did you even notice that there are more numbers, and how could you not?? Dude! I got it in the mail and put it in my wallet. Then he reminded me to spring forward on Saturday night. Thank you, Art. I will be certain to remember. Kore called me back and I showed her my design. As she started drawing, she asked me how Scotty was. That scored huge points with me. She asked if I was using the rest of the gift certificate he got me for my birthday. I couldn’t believe she remembered that from almost a year ago. And then she told the whole story of how he called and set it all up, then sent a letter with the information and a card to bundle it all up in, and how he was the sweetest thing, she just couldn’t believe it. By the tenth or eleventh time she said ‘sweet’, I was a blushin’, grinnin’ fool. She talked about emailing him and then sending a postcard. I was amazed at her memory. So then she asked all about us. Our lives. What we do. What our signs are. How we’ve changed. And she loves him. How much do I love that?? The tattoo was a new experience, as I’ve never had something right on top of bone or near-the-surface veins before. I gasped, “THAT’S AN INTERESTING SENSATION!!” as I tried not to die, and she laughed at me. She said one thing she’s learned about tattooing is that if you anticipate pain or are especially dreading the needle in one area, that area becomes ‘resistant’ and doesn’t want to take the ink as well. Which means it just lasts longer. So don’t anticipate pain, just keep breathing through it. Oh yeah, I guess I should probably show you, huh? OK, be aware that it’s all gooed up and temporarily unbandaged. I’ll try to post better photos when it’s healed. The front.
I love this design because it reminds me of henna patterns, a heart, and also it’s very yonic. No one I’ve talked to has known the meaning of this word so far (except Kore, ha). But I bet you all know ‘phallic’, right? Yep. The back.
Scotty only knew about the front; I had this added. The sorta-oval is to pull in another design element from the front, but as she was working on it she had to stop because she’d had a realization: she said that that was the exact pressure point to help with vertigo. Whenever it was bothering me, ‘just press that button’. Holy shit. And the other? Well that’s an ‘S’, of course. For my baby. On the way out, she reminded me to come to Tai Chi in a few weeks. Oh, and tell Scotty she says hi. CUUUUUTE.
Jenni * Seriously, check out her picture. She could snap you right in half.