Watch me type really fast with my bloody knuckles!
Last week, I went to the dentist. I haven’t been to the dentist in a long time because I don’t have insurance, and I’m forgetful. I hadn’t realized it had been quite as long as it had, however: 2 1/2 years. Oops. I have this constant worry about my crown, having had about a million issues with it, and the fact my teeth went to hell when I turned 18, so I always have at least one cavity. This time, the hygienist was awesome, and explained everything to me. I couldn’t believe it. Like, all of a sudden I understood the mechanics of all this stuff, and I felt way better about it. For example, she said that the cavity problem I have is caused by the fact I had braces when I was a kid, the oldschool kind that were bands wrapped around your back teeth. They cause the gums to recede around the molars, and then cavities form in the exposed areas. Also, having teeth pulled causes similar problems, and I’ve had eight or so teeth evicted from my skull. She also told me that coffee-drinking does not cause cavities, just sugar. So I have no guilt as regards that fact. And the crown is going to be a pain just because of how my teeth are shaped in that area. I have to clean it like a maniac and would be best going in every 6 months, instead of every year like most people. I can do that. So yeah, I’ll be paying the dentist over a thousand dollars in the coming months. Hi! Whatever. Friday night, we saw The Constant Gardener. The movie was alright plotwise, although intentionally misleading. Visually, it was beautiful. I started crying halfway through because I wanted to see Africa. On the way out, an old guy said to his wife, “I told you we should’ve seen The 40-year-old Virgin.” Haha. So of course, that got me thinking about travel again, and how important it is to me. I have passionate wanderlust, and the urge to see and experience everything just because it’s there. I got to thinking about how someone told me once that it would be totally feasible for me to be able to take a year off work and travel. I couldn’t do a year; I’d have fits of financial responsibility and guilt over feeling useless. A month or two, however, I could easily manage. I’ve decided I’m going to make that a goal, probably for late next year. I want to get the big emergency fund set aside and make sure everything else important is taken care of. Holy shit, that decision makes me happy. I’m going to do it. I decided to stop at the sample sale at International Market Square, since I was up at the farmer’s market anyway. I ended up with this, which is a lot nicer than it looks in the photo (I need a new frame for the daruma, too. That one isn’t right). I’ve been looking for a short benchlike thing to go under my windows, and this is even better. No, more than better! It’s perfect. Here’s a photo of my living room now; I wish the morning glories showed up. I’ve been moving a lot. I don’t know if it’s too much energy or the fact that winter is looming, but I have to make a conscious effort to slow down sometimes. This is actually a pretty good thing, because my body and I had a talk recently. We’ve had some rough times in the past, as far as understanding each other goes. I felt like we were at odds a lot, and I’ve occasionally thought of my body as my enemy, as destructive as that is. So anyway! We decided we’re going to lose some more weight. Yeah, I know you’ve told me a hundred times that I should be happy just being in awesome shape, excellent health, blah blah. I guess I’m just a sucker for numbers. This time, though, we’re in agreement about how this works. We’re cooperating instead of fighting. So the thing I was pondering last night is one of the most important things I know, not just about health but life in general: despite whatever excuses you might make, the only thing keeping you from what you really want is your own fear. It’s not time or money or something else holding you back, it’s you. So knowing that, I was trying to figure out what I was afraid of. What’s scary about another 20 pounds? What could be bad about that? It hit me last night. I finally figured it out. And it amazed me, because it’s an old pattern of thinking. It’s something I haven’t even really felt in a long time, but it’s obviously still there in my head. At the same time, I’m pissed knowing that thought pattern is still present, but I’m thrilled that I pinned it down. That’s how you get rid of it. I’m so glad, because this is like the figurative weight lifted. It makes the literal stuff seem so much simpler. Today I’m all sore from the leg work, and my hands are beat up from punching the heavy bag. I need bag gloves instead of those gel hand wraps, I think, unless maybe you build up a tolerance, just like in Kill Bill 2? Ha. It’s probably wrong that I enjoy seeing the way the bruises are creeping down between my knuckles, which are currently red and swollen but will soon be purple. I’m training my legs hard in preparation for Bodyshaping, because that stuff is killer. I’ve decided to lay off the arms until I talk to Sandy about my injury. I really don’t want to mess up my neck again. Also today! My Arabic class at MCTC begins. I went to the website and looked at the map to figure out where the classroom was, just like on the first day of school. I’m so excited. It’s from 6-9, which prevents me from going to the gym, thankfully. Tomorrow night I have my usual Iaido class, then Wednesday I have to go show off my stuff for Kore at the advanced class. Ack. ACK. OK! That’s all the also’s I have for you this morning, methinks. XOs and all that, y’know. Jenni