not the daily beet.

Dearest Everyone,

I cut through the lobby of the federal courthouse every day on the way to Sister Sludge in the skyway (Dunn Brothers requires walking 3 blocks in the freezingess, no thank you). I have discovered that the federal courthouse has the highest concentration of men wearing colorful bowties in the known universe. If you have a thing for men who wear colorful bowties (not to mention tweedy suits), this is the place for you.

Personally, I do not.

Soooo, let’s see. This week has been busy, mostly with holiday preparations. Monday, I went xmas shopping. We did well, although it’s hard to not shop for oneself as well, especially when you’re at Origins. Tuesday, Kaye and I went to IKEA for party decor. She’s in charge of the decorating and food-ideas; after the Halloween party at her place, it would be stupid to not leave this up to her. My apartment is going to be a winter wonderland, so you better be there. She also made me watch another Harry Potter movie, but I got even by making her write xmas cards. Everybody loves getting xmas cards.

Last night, Wendy, Bertine, Stephanie, and I went shopping for our Aliveness Project basket. We’ve adopted a single dad with three kids. Shopping for teenagers is hard, but I think we did really well. We got a ton of stuff, and it’ll make for really nice baskets, I hope. I wish I had time to volunteer with deliveries, too, even though I know I’d be a sobbing fool.

Tonight I have left activity-free so I may do the following: 1) go to the gym 2) get my recipe for the cookie fundraiser and go buy ingredients 3) work on my travel journal. I started editing photos a little last night and I’m really excited to get more done on it.

Also on Monday, I went to work with very little gas in Chico’s tank, but he told me he could go another 15 miles, so I didn’t worry. Granted, it was like 400 degrees below zero, but still. After work, I walked back to the parking ramp, started him up, put him in reverse, and then laughed really hard as he died RIGHT IN THE PARKING SPOT.

It was one of those times, yet again, when I was really glad I had AAA. I went back and hung out at my desk, and it took them less than an hour to send the cutest towtruck driver ever to help me. I was very embarrassed about the whole thing, since obviously it was totally my fault, but the guy told me that he’d seen people in far more stupid situations. I gave him $3 for the gas and I was on my way.

I was complaining to Stephanie that Chico lied to me about his gas situation, and she said, “Chico, exaggerating? Where could he possibly have learned that??” Hahaha.

So anyway, I may have been avoiding a little when I said before that things were completely awesome and wonderful. Because, truthfully, they’re not. I’m just dealing with an issue so devastating, I haven’t been able to talk about it until now. But [deep breath] I’m finally ready:

I hate my toilet.

No, seriously. See, we have old pipes in the building. Therefore, rusty water. It leaves stains in the sinks and bath, but those have been easy to scrub out. The toilet, however, is driving me crazy. All above the water line, it’s stained. It looks dirty. I AM NOT DIRTY*.

I clean it very regularly, and that doesn’t help much. The other day, I spent a long time in the cleaning-supply aisle, looking for something that specifically mentioned ‘rust’ and ‘toilet’ in the same sentence. I found these tablets that you drop in the tank, so I tried them. Number one, they smell. A chemical smell like maybe I’m using my bathroom as a meth lab, or I have some frightening disease. I’d be fine with a clean, bleachy kind of smell. But this, not so much.

And second, they’re not working anyway.

So, in conclusion, I’d like to say that things are really not peachy after all. I have toilet issues. I may be seeking therapy over this. Or at least some cleaning advice from my mother, who always seems to know these things, and I should’ve just called in the first place. Hello.

OH! The cookie fundraiser order form magically disappears tomorrow, December 9th, at 4pm. LAST CALL! We’ve raised over $1,000 so far. Baking begins Saturday! Those of you from out-of-town, we’ll be shipping Monday.

Later, you.
Jenni

* Well, not in a bad way, like my toilet is.