LISTEN.

Last night, Matt and I went to Chooglin‘s record release show at the Entry. We were very surprised to see a line out the door when we got there, and many members of the ‘Too Much Love’ crowd standing outside smoking. Twas a capacity crowd of 250, which is way too many for that tiny room.

At one point I was standing there watching the Rockford Mules and I felt an arm around me. This would not generally be unusual, as Matt was standing next to me. Then I realized his arm was still at his side, and the guy on the other side of me was giving me a hug. Then a kiss on the cheek. When he attempted the same thing again, I waved him away and he went to fall all over someone else.

The show was amazing. I’ve seen Chooglin’ many times, but this show beat them all. I can’t wait to get their new album, because the new songs were even better than their old stuff. I have no idea how we have a band like that in the frozen north, but I’m really glad we do.

You know what was not awesome, though? The crowd. I have absolutely no idea how people can go to a show, stand within 20 feet of a band that is rocking their asses off, and just stand there, unmoving. Isn’t it harder not to dance? Wouldn’t that suck to be that band, seeing a crowd of skinny white kids staring blankly at them?

So here are some rules for shows. Please pass this along to anyone who does not know how to rock.

1) If you came to talk to your friends by shouting over the band, you should perhaps consider that there are places you can go have drinks and discussions in a normal voice, called bars. Most of them, you don’t even have to pay to get into.

2) Ladies, don’t bring your purse to a show. Particularly if your purse is large enough that you’d have to check it on a flight. Everyone else will want to punch you.

3) If you have to wear a coat (I do! I’m cold all the time), stash it somewhere at the show. Don’t wear it or carry it. Put your ID and cash in your pocket. No, nobody in Minnesota is going to jack your stupid parka. You can’t get a drink without cash.

4) Dance. If you really can’t dance, bob your head appreciatively, ideally in rhythm. If you don’t feel the urge to dance, you’re should refer back to item #1.

    You’re welcome! Now go buy their album.

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