Today I played the words ‘dildo’ and ‘halibut’ in Scrabble. I’m actually more proud of the latter, because halibut is one of those things that’s never not funny, much like responding to questions with “your mom”. Not only is a halibut gigantic, he also has two bulgy eyes on one side of his head. He wasn’t even born that way; ...

I have returned to work not entirely willingly from the Best Weekend Ever, part 3409! Friday night, we had the Bum Wine Tasting. The concept was based on the fact we’re nowhere near pretentious enough for a wine tasting, but bum wines are just funny. As were the food pairings; we had things like fried Spam served in a tin ...

DUDES! I keep forgetting to tell you I’m back. Seattle was legendarily awesome, of course. I’m going to write about it in ye olde travel journal so I’ll save the details, but here are some photos. Also, I’m having Colleen and Steve (and their cats, I suppose) kidnapped and forcibly brought to live here. Don’t tell them; it’s a surprise. ...

This is shaping up to be the best week ever. Tuesday night, Matt and I decided to make it a date, so we went to Harry’s for dinner. It was so good we both died a little; my caesar salad was a heart of romaine chopped in half, dipped in the dressing, grilled til it was charred, topped with a ...