i still haven’t unpacked.

This morning, I threw my brown suede Adidas in the trash. It was a sad parting, because they’d been a lot of places with me. My shoes had been tied up in a plastic Target back since our return from the cruise. I wore them in Mexico to ride ATVs; I didn’t realize we’d be riding in rivers of mud ...

three lamborghinis in pristine condition

sat: flew to florida, played bocce on deck 9, cried with excitement as we left the harbor sun: saw the southernmost point in the u.s., had brunch featuring nachos and tropical drinks overlooking the ocean mon: made beautiful necklaces at arts & crafts, took italian lessons tue: kissed a stingray, got blowjobs from jesus at seƱor frog’s wed: kayaked in ...

S.S. RAZZMATAZZ: INCOMING

GUYS. I was not joking when I said this would be the longest week ever. I was pretty sure I was going to die between the hours of 1 and 2pm yesterday. However, it’s now Friday, there’s a hockey game tonight, and tomorrow WE’RE GOING ON A CRUISE!!! This week has been mostly dedicated to packing and organizing and killing ...

I’VE EATEN YER CARRRRR!

Day two of the longest week ever. I have an entire pot of coffee to myself. We leave for the cruise very early Saturday morning, which means that this week is likely to kill me. I’m kind of glad that I have plenty to do at work, because otherwise I end up staring at photos of beaches and palm trees ...