Dear Amazon: I appreciate all you to do lure me into spending my dollars at your fine internet marketplace, and I have to congratulate you on your success at that task. Every time I visit, you have so many new things to tell me I don’t yet have, but obviously need. I find the ‘You Know You Want It’ bit ...

To the City of New York: Remember me? I’m the girl who contributed so generously to your economy this last weekend. GWB told me that spending money was a good way to fight terrorism in the U.S., and who am I to argue? I’m a patriot. I think my favorite moments were the ones that were quintessentially New York for ...

Dear Friends, Lately, I’ve been playing pain roulette. Well, OK. Not pain, more soreness. In my muscles, the ones I keep forgetting I have until they hurt. Right now, I have my schedule perfectly planned to ensure that I am suffering in a new and different way every single day. I think it’s particularly ingenious. I work out at the ...

Dear Jim, I think I love you. In a platonic, services-rendered-for-cash kind of way, that is. Every time I see you, you hurt me. I walk away shaken and sore, but I still want more. You’ve introduced me to parts of my body I didn’t even know the names of until we met. I love the no-nonsense snap of your ...