It’s time for the Wednesday spectacular! Now with supersexy-asterisk-bullets! * A sure sign of the nature of last weekend is the fact that I totally forgot to tell you the story of Wendy not getting arrested. So, we were both illegally parked near Luce, as usual, in the no-parking-after-10pm spots. I was also in the short-term-meter, no-parking-ever,-really spot I always ...

Hey! Don’t mind the fake meat on my keyboard. I’m eating dinner. I have a LOT of recent photos. The fun part is that they’re all over the damn place. You already saw the phone-photos from the fair, so here are the real ones: my favorite crop art everklan sheep(I took a photo of these last year, too, but they ...

Hi! I had a talk with the government recently. IRS: Hi, Jenni! You owe us another $2,000! Could you get it to us by September 5? Have a nice day!Me: Uh. Excuse me?IRS: We didn’t get your first quarterly estimated payment a year and a half ago. Could you just send that, with interest? Thanks! Nice talking to you again!Me: ...

Oh my god. Definitive proof I’m no genius! The tortured soul (to say nothing of the emo kid) will cash out his hurt and buy inspiration. I’ve got it all wrong. Whenever I’m sad or depressed or reeling with the random gut-punch, I’m aphasic. My mind is deadened by the emotional barrage, drawn up monosyllabic and trite. Apparently, the world’s ...