Dear Friends: Danger! Danger!1 I’m wordy today. I didn’t feel like typing much this weekend, and now I’m going to make up for that. I won’t bore you with the weekend play-by-play, because that’s Alex’s job, and it features phrases like “epithelial cells”, which I can’t even spell (I pasted), much less comprehend. I hear it will also feature unflattering ...

Howdy. You’d think between the 16-oz depth charge1 and the southern punk rock2 I’d be awake this morning, but I’m not. The thing about contracting is that it forces you to assign a dollar value to your time. It’s an interesting experiment, really. With a regular job, you can weigh your options when taking time off; use vacation time, call ...

Note to Self: You know you’ve spent too much time on the internet when you overhear the following and have to stop and gawk for a minute before you realize it’s not what you think: “I just got the most incredible facial!” Dirty.Jenni

Dear Sirs: I have had a realization. There are two types of bad days: #1The kind of bad day that inspires frustrated, pointless violence; you want to kick the wall and yell and punch random strangers for wearing stupid-looking hats, or sitting too close; you want to throw things through windows just to hear the satisfying cacophony of shit breaking. ...