I think we saw all the casinos on the strip except the trashy ones I’d seen before, like the Boardwalk, the Frontier (free bikini mud wrestling!), and the Barbary Coast.\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/trash.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
My favorites are the Aladdin (the shopping), Caesar’s (the shopping), the Wynn (the most insanely opulent and miraculously least-tacky), New York New York (the entertainment), Paris (the insane gaudiness), and Mandalay Bay (the restaurants).<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/paris2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
MGM struck me as the stupidest, but maybe because I had to walk something like two miles through its vast cavernousness to a Starbucks that was technically right across the street from my hotel.
\nHave you ever really<\/em> noticed casino carpet?<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/carpet.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
BTW, Americanos cost $4-5 in Las Vegas. Fuckers.<\/li>\nWe had a great view of ass from our room at the Tropicana.\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/tropicana.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Also, Tom Jones on the giant video screen at MGM. He wasn’t there til next week, though. SIGH.<\/li>\n
Walking around in 100-degree weather after dark is disturbing. It’s fine during the day in the sun. One day we walked from the Tropicana, at the south end of the strip, to the Stratosphere and back. Ouch.<\/li>\nThe Fremont Street Experience would be most excellent if you were totally baked, dude. Otherwise, it’s just bizarre.\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/fremont.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
I’m a little sad that the cowboy is under that gigantic big-screen-TV-canopy-thing now, too.<\/li>\n
On Monday, we went to rent a convertible. They were out of Mustangs, and only had Sebrings. Shudder. David the Budget Man pointed at the parking lot and said, “What about that one? It’s a V8.”
\n“We’ll take it,” I answered.
\nTwo hours later, Hot Park Ranger Man found us in the middle of the Mojave Desert, our Bright Red 50th Anniversary Edition Thunderbird Convertible parked half on the road, half on the sand, just past a wash-out, with both doors and the trunk open, music blasting, roaming in the scrub looking for scorpions (me) and taking photos of the approaching storm (her).<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/washout.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
He said, “I seriously<\/em> hope you girls are turning around and heading back.” Perhaps we seemed a little unprepared for desert survival?
\nWas it the flipflops?
\nHe hung out for a while and told us the travails of a park ranger, which are basically that he wants them to mark more hiking trails in the park (there are currently two, even though the reserve is something like 90 million square miles of nothingness), and that his job is mainly to keep people from dying in the heat. Which apparently they do at an alarming rate.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/dead.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
It was actually only in the 90s in the desert that day, due to the occasional rain. We wandered not too far from the road on the hiking trail closer to I-15.<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/car.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/desert.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
I spooked jackrabbits and white chipmunks from under fallen Joshua tree branches as I crept up to this broken-down shack at the intersection of the railroad tracks, near the Cima Store (WE ARE OPEN! KNOCK LOUDLY!).<\/p>\n
![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/shack.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
There was rusted sheet metal and old pre-pulltab cans scattered around it for a hundred feet, and a pile of untorched kindling in the middle of the crumbling floor.
\nWe raced through the desert from Baker, California to Las Vegas, never going under 90. It was so Fear and Loathing<\/em>, minus the beat-up sun hat.<\/p>\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/sign.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
And the ether.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So here’s the Vegas stuff I have decided to tell you about! The rest you will have to imagine with your twisted little minds, amigos mios. It’s not that I didn’t lose the money I gambled, but I took a really really long time doing so on video poker. I make up in luck what […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[12],"tags":[513,175,97,225,99,124],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"geo":{"latitude":36.11324690000000003919922164641320705413818359375,"longitude":-115.176551799999998593193595297634601593017578125,"description":"Las Vegas, NV, USA"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5Z5R-1b","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":171,"url":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/las-vegas-4\/thursday-1022008\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":0},"title":"Las Vegas","author":"Jenni","date":"10.5.2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Thursday morning, we got up bright and early late and went to Paris for breakfast. There's a little cafe I'd stopped at on previous visits, and knew it to be good. Which is to say they'd have pastries and coffee.\u00a0 I think Matt died of awesome over his bacon and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Las Vegas #4"","block_context":{"text":"Las Vegas #4","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/category\/las-vegas-4\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/storage\/2008\/10\/2918954854_5b8b2dc8a7_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":315,"url":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/las-vegas-for-kates-bday\/monday-9-21-2009\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":1},"title":"Dancing at the Hawaiian Marketplace","author":"Jenni","date":"09.29.2009","format":false,"excerpt":"We got up bright and early Monday morning, only because we had to check out by 10. Nobody should have to see Las Vegas that early in the day. We took our usual trek through Planet Hollywood and over to Paris, stopping for our traditional delicious European brunch at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Las Vegas #5"","block_context":{"text":"Las Vegas #5","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/category\/las-vegas-for-kates-bday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/storage\/2009\/09\/3944573975_25c9e10119_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3924,"url":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/vegascalifornia-roadtrip\/vegas-in-the-morning-is-confusing\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":2},"title":"Vegas in the Morning is Confusing.","author":"Jenni","date":"11.30.2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Matt and I headed to the airport bright and early for our 9am flight to Las Vegas. We landed shortly after 10am, the earliest we'd ever arrived there. (We're fans of the postwork late arrival that basically just looses us onto the Strip.) We hopped the airport shuttle and picked\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Vegas\/California Roadtrip"","block_context":{"text":"Vegas\/California Roadtrip","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/category\/vegascalifornia-roadtrip\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/storage\/2014\/11\/15312253833_340ea121e3_o-e1418246096331.jpg?fit=900%2C1200&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":119,"url":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/team-awesome-in-las-vegas\/1122007-day-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":3},"title":"Vegas #3, Day 1","author":"Jenni","date":"01.15.2007","format":false,"excerpt":"We got started early at the lovely Hubert H Humprey Terminal at Minneapolis-St Paul International Airport. We continued the party on the aeroplane. The party also included canasta and the sammichsammich. We landed in Las Vegas, and were greeted at the airport by a limo driver holding a sign reading\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Las Vegas #3"","block_context":{"text":"Las Vegas #3","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/category\/team-awesome-in-las-vegas\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/storage\/2007\/01\/358777646_e29b9db2e8_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":33,"url":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/west-coast-roadtrip\/tue-7152003-san-diego-las-vegas\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":4},"title":"San Diego -> Las Vegas (Fear of the Desert)","author":"Jenni","date":"07.30.2003","format":false,"excerpt":"I got up at 6:30 and ran to Starbucks before heading out. My car was covered in what could only be described as humidity dust. It was in the mid-60s, but still insanely humid. I got on I-15, going the opposite direction from the rest of the traffic. They were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "West Coast Roadtrip"","block_context":{"text":"West Coast Roadtrip","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/category\/west-coast-roadtrip\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":311,"url":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/las-vegas-for-kates-bday\/saturday-9-19-2009\/","url_meta":{"origin":73,"position":5},"title":"Wanderings in Vegas","author":"Jenni","date":"09.29.2009","format":false,"excerpt":"We got up with plenty of time to make it to our pre-noon plans, which is always surprising in Vegas. We headed up the strip toward Caesar's, figuring we'd have plenty of time to get there by 11:30, but we barely made it! It's possible I stopped to take a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Las Vegas #5"","block_context":{"text":"Las Vegas #5","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/category\/las-vegas-for-kates-bday\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/storage\/2009\/09\/3944530427_127fd69731_o.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=73"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=73"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/\/photos\/clown.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/li>\n![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/queenofsubtle.com\/rt\/photos\/nyny2.jpg\")
<\/p>\n