I spent Friday afternoon at happy hour with Matt, who dropped a very-tipsy me off at the airport; I proceeded to board the plane and partake in Northwest Airline’s free booze, because I consider it my duty to exploit them as they exploit me. I’d been upgraded to first class on three out of my last four flights. How awesome is that?

I arrived in Albuquerque after 11, and walked over to the car rental place. They handed me keys and I sleepily rolled my suitcase out to the lot. I was confronted with a giant white minivan, so I sleepily rolled my suitcase back inside. I asked the guy behind the counter, “Do you have anything smaller? I drive a MINI!” He said no, that was all they had left.

I named my minivan ‘Cracker’.