{"id":98,"date":"2008-01-29T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-01-30T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=709"},"modified":"2008-12-12T11:45:17","modified_gmt":"2008-12-12T17:45:17","slug":"killer-toast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=98","title":{"rendered":"killer toast"},"content":{"rendered":"

Survivalist lesson #1:<\/strong> for days when it’s -15 degrees in the morning.<\/p>\n

1) have a very warm boyfriend – this will keep you alive while sleeping<\/p>\n

2) own a car with seat warmers – this will keep you alive while driving<\/p>\n

3) wrap a large Gophers scarf around your head – if you can still feel warm breath, you’ll have proof you’re still mostly alive while walking<\/p>\n

You know, I had five different opportunities to just forget to climb on a ship or plane, and I could’ve been living somewhere warm right now. Instead, I’m in the barren tundra slowly writing about those places<\/a>. I keep reminding myself how awesome Minneapolis is in the summer, but a short trip for Matt’s birthday is looking hella appealing right now.<\/p>\n

So, I got some new Superstars to replace the Mexican Jungle Shoes, and HOLY CRAP, they are fly. Too fly, in fact, for a cracker such as me. They have glinting white shell-toes and a gold medallion in the laces. Seriously. I love them.<\/p>\n

I had two big achievements yesterday: I played a lot of Guitar Hero (shut up), and I filed my taxes. Well, federal, at least, because I’m getting a big refund. The state can wait til April for its $50, especially since they won’t be giving me the renter’s rebate or that special $600 refund in July. JERKS. Anyway, I’m also proud of myself because I calculated that I’d get $300 worth of investment for free if I funded my IRA for last year, so I sent that off today, too. After this, my work IRA will take over and I won’t have to think about responsibility anymore; I’ll just be swimming in moneybags when I retire.<\/p>\n

Right.<\/p>\n

More soon!
\nJenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Survivalist lesson #1: for days when it’s -15 degrees in the morning. 1) have a very warm boyfriend – this will keep you alive while sleeping 2) own a car with seat warmers – this will keep you alive while driving 3) wrap a large Gophers scarf around your head – if you can still …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-98","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-list"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-1A","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=98"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=98"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=98"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=98"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}