Dear Penthouse Forum,<\/p>\n
I never thought your letters were real until something happened to me that I just had to share.<\/p>\n
I was at the grocery store last night, nursing a deep craving for velveeta and tabouleh. I was standing impatiently in line at the register, paging through “O”<\/em>. Suddenly, I felt eyes on my body. I looked up and caught the intense stare of the bag boy, and felt a chill of pleasure down my spine.<\/p>\n “Paper or plastic?” he murmured, brushing a stray lock of dark hair from his eyes. His firm muscles bulged beneath his green Lund’s apron.<\/p>\n “Paper… please!” I gasped, feeling my legs go weak. Did he know the power he had over me?<\/p>\n I managed to scribble out a check quickly, my face flushed with excitement. He took hold of the cart firmly and pushed it out the door, obviously expecting me to follow. To what, I could only imagine in my wildest fantasies… I paused only a second, my heart racing, before following him into the night.<\/p>\n I led him to my car and opened the trunk. He needed no prompting, believe me. He started thrusting the bags inside, pushing them in deep. I shuddered as I heard his breathing quicken and felt his pace increase. He slammed the trunk hard and I moaned in ecstasy.<\/p>\n I gave him a dollar and he thanked me quietly, a knowing gleam in his eye. On the way home, I smiled to myself as I realized I was out of cat food.<\/p>\n Penthouse, I hope you can print this letter.<\/p>\n Sincerely, Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought your letters were real until something happened to me that I just had to share. I was at the grocery store last night, nursing a deep craving for velveeta and tabouleh. I was standing impatiently in line at the register, paging through “O”. Suddenly, I felt eyes on my …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[31],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-805","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letters"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-cZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=805"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/805\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nJenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"