{"id":717,"date":"2003-09-16T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2003-09-17T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=91"},"modified":"2003-09-16T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2003-09-17T06:00:00","slug":"the-new-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=717","title":{"rendered":"The New Me."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Internet:<\/p>\n<p \/>All these years, I&#8217;ve been living a lie. Or not exactly a lie, since it wasn&#8217;t deception so much as ignorance. I hope you can forgive me, because it&#8217;s time to come clean.<\/p>\n<p \/>My last name isn&#8217;t Ripley. I am Jennifer Lynn Eppenberger.<\/p>\n<p \/>It&#8217;s doesn&#8217;t really have the same ring to it. It sounds so wholesome. I should live in Kansas. I should work at the Waffle House. No, I&#8217;d have quit my job at the Waffle House the second I got pregnant with the twins. No, triplets. And Randy would be pulling double shifts down at Wal-Mart just to make ends meet.<\/p>\n<p \/>If my dad hadn&#8217;t been so dedicatedly persistent with the family history research, maybe I could have continued on as is. But now I can&#8217;t, and it&#8217;s over. I&#8217;m starting my new life today, and between the kids, the hubby, and Jesus, I&#8217;ve got no time for this internet nonsense.<\/p>\n<p \/>Goodbye forever.<br \/>Jenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Internet: All these years, I&#8217;ve been living a lie. Or not exactly a lie, since it wasn&#8217;t deception so much as ignorance. I hope you can forgive me, because it&#8217;s time to come clean. My last name isn&#8217;t Ripley. I am Jennifer Lynn Eppenberger. It&#8217;s doesn&#8217;t really have the same ring to it. It &#8230;<a class=\"post-readmore\" href=\"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=717\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-717","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-bz","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=717"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/717\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=717"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=717"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=717"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}