{"id":681,"date":"2003-11-12T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2003-11-13T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=127"},"modified":"2003-11-12T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2003-11-13T06:00:00","slug":"imitation-belittles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=681","title":{"rendered":"Imitation belittles."},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Friends:<\/p>\n

It’s over.<\/p>\n

I received this message today as I toiled away obliviously on a client’s project. It took me by complete surprise, sneaking past my spam filter and nestling itself among emails from real human beings in my inbox. I knew it was spam, but how could I not open an email from Mainstays L. Excrescence? Could you<\/i> resist? Of course not. And what I found inside has changed my life permanently.<\/p>\n

This email, this single, perfect, radiant piece of junk mail, is the culmination of everything the internet was meant to be. It’s the Mona Lisa of spam. The moon landing. The Brady Bunch episode where the whole family, including Alice, goes to Hawaii. And because of that, I’m giving up. I could never hope to even approach this level of greatness, so why bother? I’m just going to shut down my laptop and go to bed. Forever.<\/p>\n

\n

From:<\/b> Mainstays L. Excrescence

Subject:<\/b> Imitation belittles.<\/p>\n

Good morning.<\/p>\n

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Click:<\/p>\n

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Bis denn<\/p>\n

To unsubcsribe form the Nettwleser sned an e-mail to: qAovltIhAb@htsogym.cmo.<\/p>\n

Happiness is a by product of an effort to make someone else happy.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Good, the more communicated, more abundant grows.<\/div>\n

Sweet Jesus. Suddenly it all seems so pointless.
Jenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Friends: It’s over. I received this message today as I toiled away obliviously on a client’s project. It took me by complete surprise, sneaking past my spam filter and nestling itself among emails from real human beings in my inbox. I knew it was spam, but how could I not open an email from …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-aZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/681","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=681"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/681\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=681"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=681"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=681"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}