{"id":467,"date":"2005-01-15T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-16T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=340"},"modified":"2005-01-15T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2005-01-16T06:00:00","slug":"youre-no-jesus-youre-no-fucking-elvis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=467","title":{"rendered":"you&#8217;re no jesus, you&#8217;re no fucking elvis"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Well, hello there!<\/p>\n<p \/>I just dropped in for a minute to update you on the things that have not already been documented elsewhere. And to say hi. Hi! How are you?<\/p>\n<p \/>You&#8217;re <i>what<\/i>? How the hell did that happen?<\/p>\n<p \/>Anyway! Item:<\/p>\n<p \/>Ye olde family dinner was postponed tonight due to some unforseen circumstances involving spicy Thai food and a hospital. An example of the way my sister and I relate is that I&#8217;ve been known to end many friendly arguments with, &#8220;yeah, well at least <i>I<\/i> don&#8217;t have a gallbladder,&#8221; because it does actually piss her off. Seriously. But now, I will no longer have that to hold against her.<\/p>\n<p \/>A related Item:<\/p>\n<p \/>My parents started attending church more regularly several years ago when Stephanie almost died of a bizarre illness. Today they made a huge point of having to go to the 6pm mass, presumably because she was in a hospital bed again. Some people become more religious in the face of adversity; me, I buy goofy pick-me-up gifts at Patina. Kitsch is my god.<\/p>\n<p \/>Also, an Item:<\/p>\n<p \/>ee cummings wrote the best love poems in all of history; they&#8217;re pure and succinct and gut-wrenchingly beautiful. He also wrote <a href='http:\/\/catalog.com\/mrm\/poems\/humanity.txt' target='stepdown'>this<\/a>. He is the man.<\/p>\n<p \/>The final Item:<\/p>\n<p \/>When my phone rang right next to my head early this morning, my mom&#8217;s voice asked, &#8220;Did I wake you?&#8221; I said, &#8220;Just a little.&#8221; I&#8217;m getting far too little sleep.<\/p>\n<p \/>That&#8217;s not a complaint.<!-- more, please. much much much more. ---><\/p>\n<p \/>Sweet dreams, and a happy tomorrow.<br \/>Jenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Well, hello there! I just dropped in for a minute to update you on the things that have not already been documented elsewhere. And to say hi. Hi! How are you? You&#8217;re what? How the hell did that happen? Anyway! Item: Ye olde family dinner was postponed tonight due to some unforseen circumstances involving spicy &#8230;<a class=\"post-readmore\" href=\"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=467\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-467","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-7x","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=467"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=467"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=467"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=467"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}