{"id":404,"date":"2005-08-28T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-29T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=403"},"modified":"2005-08-28T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-29T06:00:00","slug":"all-these-links-wore-me-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=404","title":{"rendered":"all these links wore me out."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hey! Don&#8217;t mind the fake meat on my keyboard. I&#8217;m eating dinner.<\/p>\n<p \/>I have a LOT of recent photos. The fun part is that they&#8217;re all over the damn place. You already saw the phone-photos from the fair, so here are the real ones:<\/p>\n<p \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/seedart.jpg' target='oot'>my favorite crop art ever<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/klansheep.jpg' target='oot'>klan sheep<\/a><br \/>(I took a photo of these <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=81'>last year<\/a>, too, but they fascinate me.)<br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/fairbread.jpg' target='oot'>i love the bizarre baking competitions<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/corn.jpg' target='oot'>giant corn!<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/bigfoot.jpg' target='oot'>i want these wheels on chico<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/babyducks.jpg' target='oot'>pile o&#8217; babies<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/eminem.jpg' target='oot'>you know you want to ride slim shady<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/bumpercars.jpg' target='oot'>bumpercars<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/clownchairs.jpg' target='oot'>all these clowns are now dead.<\/a><br \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/chef.jpg' target='oot'>i wish i knew what this was about, but then i don&#8217;t.<\/a><\/p>\n<p \/>I included three of my fair photos in this <a href='http:\/\/www.livejournal.com\/community\/pictureprobe\/608.html' target='oot'>photo contest<\/a>, too. I&#8217;m pretty happy with the duck one.<\/p>\n<p \/>Friday night, I went to a birthday party. The moment I remember most is when I walked into the bathroom and realized I was not only talking to myself, but gesticulating. I mean, I usually gesticulate, it&#8217;s just that generally it involves at least one other person.<\/p>\n<p \/>Saturday morning, I went for my shiatsu massage. I kept dozing off, starting to dream, then wondering if she knew I was dozing off. I wanted to be awake enough to enjoy my massage, but not as awake as I was the last time with boner-guy, because that was not relaxing in the least, even if the massage was awesome.<\/p>\n<p \/>We took some little kids we found hanging around out for a walk at the lake. They&#8217;re so damn cute it kills me. I&#8217;ve found that babies are nice to borrow sometimes, but while I was carrying 400-lb baby Wyatt around and they were asking, &#8220;Doesn&#8217;t he make you want to have a baby?&#8221; I had to say no. I mean, Levi was picking things up off the ground and playing with them; they could&#8217;ve been left there by a crack whore with leprosy, for all we knew. I was convinced Wyatt was going to fall down and crack his skull open on anything not covered in down-filled padding, which was pretty much everything within sight. Nate dropped his mini-muffin on the path, then picked it up and continued eating. I didn&#8217;t quite have a panic attack, but seriously considered it as an option. Those kids are way cute, though. Here are some photos!<\/p>\n<p \/><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/wyattphone.jpg' target='oot'>wyatt<\/a>, <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/levi.jpg' target='oot'>levi<\/a>, <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/wagon.jpg' target='oot'>nate and levi<\/a>, <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/wyatt.jpg' target='oot'>more wyatt<\/a>, and <a href='http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/queen_of_subtle\/37657595\/' target='oot'>even more wyatt<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p \/>Since we were going to Jens and Anne&#8217;s wedding on Sunday, Bertine and I went for eyebrow-waxing and the manicure\/pedicure special at the East Lake Street institution, DO ME NAILS. Hahaha. I feared all this girly crap would severely damage my <i>hardcore reputation<\/i>, and I think was right. Although I still stand by my theory that if you were to get a single acrylic nail on your thumb, painted black with the outline of the mudflap girl on it, and you used it to gouge out someone&#8217;s eyeball, you&#8217;d be hardcore.<\/p>\n<p \/>Don&#8217;t worry, I didn&#8217;t do that.<\/p>\n<p \/>Saturday night, we went to Luce. I <i>know<\/i> that may surprise you. We may perhaps have gotten a little more raucous than usual. Afterward, we wandered down to Gameworks at that stupidass Block E horror that I&#8217;ve been spending too much time in lately (the movie theatres aren&#8217;t even that good). Gameworks is adults-only after 9pm, which rocks. We <a href='http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/twodolla\/37779116\/' target='oot'>shot  zombies<\/a> and Bertine and Wendy played a lot of Skeeball, but mostly I was there for Dance Dance Revolution.<\/p>\n<p \/>If I had Dance Dance Revolution in my house, I&#8217;d never have to go to the Y again. I usually lift at home, anyway. Also, I&#8217;d probably become a recluse. <i>Hey, Jenni, want to go out tonight? No way, dude! DDR!<\/i><\/p>\n<p \/>Sunday morning, we were up way too early for brunchfast, because we had to go to the farmer&#8217;s market to buy armfuls of flowers and take them to the wedding locale. While standing in the parking lot under the interstate, I had a moment, which I will try to explain at the risk of sounding like someone you wished you didn&#8217;t know. I looked up and realized I was standing under the gap between the elevated east-and-westbound lanes. Between the two, I saw cloudless blue sky and a row of gigantic white streetlamps at perfect intervals. It was something about the rumble of the traffic and the perfect, orderly serenity of that space between; I started to reach for my camera to take a photo, but knew it would be pointless. It couldn&#8217;t be captured or really even explained. It made me so happy I wanted to cry.<\/p>\n<p \/>I think that&#8217;s why I&#8217;m taking so many photos and writing so much now. It&#8217;s because I see things again. Not in that &#8216;voices in my head&#8217; way, either, because I know sometimes you worry. For so long, I just stopped noticing, or caring, or wishing to create or contribute. I thought that was gone forever, but it&#8217;s back. Therefore, I want a better digital camera. Ha.<\/p>\n<p \/>The wedding was AWESOME. A cute boy picked me up and drove me there in a golf cart. I got to see the legendary Paul Holmboe in a tux. I sat with Emily on the bride&#8217;s side and watched all the Norwegians burn in the sun. It was the perfect day for an outdoor wedding.<\/p>\n<p \/>Serinia had her <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/seriniaboots.jpg' target='oot'>jump boots from the army<\/a> and knee-high pink socks on under her bridesmaid&#8217;s dress. Emily paid a dollar to dance with Jens; Bertine paid five to dance with Anne. I couldn&#8217;t dance with Jens because it felt way too dirty, and not in a good way. <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/bouquet.jpg' target='oot'>I caught the bouquet<\/a>! I&#8217;m <i>so<\/i> not getting married, suckers. I believe I slow-danced with Bertine, which caused some difficulty because we were both wearing bedroom slippers, and it took us a while to figure out who was leading. The spinning and dipping thing is not a great idea when drunk. The music sucked (except for the requested <i>Intergalactic Planetary<\/i> and the obligatory Chicken Dance), but that didn&#8217;t stop us from shaking our collective bootay.<\/p>\n<p \/>Someone I didn&#8217;t want to get way too close got WAY too close to me, and I had to run away. The pastor danced with us for a long time, which I admit made me a little nervous. Eric, the best man, was holding drinking contests with himself while wearing his bowtie on his head. The straps on Bertine&#8217;s dress broke and her boobs kept threatening to make an appearance. There was a girl at our table wearing a Rainbow Brite hoodie, and I never quite figured out who she was. I got handed a phone and ended up talking to someone I hadn&#8217;t spoken to in years, which was trippy. It&#8217;d be kinda cool to have a bizarre reunion sometime, actually.<\/p>\n<p \/>Anyway! <a href='http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/queen_of_subtle\/sets\/839991\/' target='oot'>Here are a few more drunken phone pictures<\/a> from the wedding aftermath.<\/p>\n<p \/>Speaking of aftermath, we had the really bright idea of going to Luce afterwards. We were an interesting crowd stumbling into the lobby, as I could tell from the look on Josh&#8217;s face. Eric in a rumpled tux, Bertine in a black party dress with pink polka-dots, straps falling down, wearing bright red slippers, Serinia in a bridesmaid&#8217;s dress with army boots, and me, well. In a skirt. That&#8217;s something. Holding up five fingers, I told him there would be four of us dining.<\/p>\n<p \/>This morning, I really didn&#8217;t feel so well, even though I went to bed at 10. I came home an hour early and took a nap. Now it&#8217;s 8pm and I&#8217;m awaiting my walk-date. One should always have a walk-date when walking in the dark, even if one does know how to break an arm in two moves or less.<\/p>\n<p \/>I didn&#8217;t get anything done that I said I wanted to do this weekend, like the creamedpeas episode, because I wasn&#8217;t home. I&#8217;ll work on that, and also doing my dishes. Eek.<\/p>\n<p \/>Last but nowhere near least, Feliz Cumplea&#241;os to Se&#241;or Jason Patrikios!!<\/p>\n<p \/>Gooooooodnight now, muchachos. See you soonly.<br \/>Jenni<\/p>\n<p \/>P.S. Does anyone else speed up when they see those &#8216;YOUR SPEED IS:&#8217; signs? I&#8217;m all &#8217;95! SCORE!&#8217; Please tell me I&#8217;m not alone in this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hey! Don&#8217;t mind the fake meat on my keyboard. I&#8217;m eating dinner. I have a LOT of recent photos. The fun part is that they&#8217;re all over the damn place. You already saw the phone-photos from the fair, so here are the real ones: my favorite crop art everklan sheep(I took a photo of these &#8230;<a class=\"post-readmore\" href=\"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=404\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-6w","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=404"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}