{"id":352,"date":"2006-02-16T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-02-17T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=455"},"modified":"2006-02-16T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2006-02-17T06:00:00","slug":"i-got-my","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=352","title":{"rendered":"i got my #|"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>BULLETS ARE TASTY!<\/p>\n<p \/>\n<ul>\n<li>Work has had me bleary-eyed all week. I am currently incapable of neatly-segueing paragraphture. I am, however, quite accomplished at reckless word-invention.\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>Allow me to draw your attention to that box over there! &#8211;>\n<p \/>I&#8217;m sure you totally missed it so far. So, I have less than $400 to raise to hit the $2,200 mark for the 3day. I&#8217;ve set up this thing where you can contribute as little as a dollar. So please consider donating your cup of coffee today, or a gallon of gas, or the $2.99 you save by ending your call to the phone sex hotline a minute early. Do it for the boobs!<\/p>\n<p \/>[I should note that a donation made through that link is not tax-deductible. If you want a tax receipt, you can always donate <a href='http:\/\/www.the3day.org\/TwinCities06\/jenni' target='3day'>here<\/a>.]<\/p>\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>Reason #1 I&#8217;m in love with the interweb this week: someone from <a href='http:\/\/www.43things.com\/person\/plinko' target='3day'>43things<\/a> wrote to say they wanted to help me hit my fundraising goal, so they contributed. How awesome is that??\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>I met a 3day team with a table in the skyway the other day. They knew who our team was, and asked for fundraising advice. I was so proud of Team Boobylicious. I&#8217;m also going to try to steal their skyway idea, and sell pink wristbands (I have 100 on the way), and um. Truffles? Cookies? Make-out sessions with the other team members, while I take photos and post them on the internet? YES!\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>Reason #2 I&#8217;m in love with the interweb this week: the editor of <a href='http:\/\/www.la.com' target='3day'>LA.com<\/a> wants to feature my <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/la\/1.jpg' target='3day'>photo of Griffith Park<\/a> on their site.\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>I have 50,000 frequent flyer miles. I am dying to buy my plane ticket. Man, I hate patience.\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>Knitting Olympics update! Here are the <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/ko6.jpg' target='3day'>front<\/a> and <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/images\/ko7.jpg' target='3day'>back<\/a> of the mittens. Technically, I should probably be done with one already, since we&#8217;re halfway through. But weekend mornings are better for these things, so I&#8217;m not worried about it.\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>Wednesday night was Kaye&#8217;s &#8216;I hate you, bitch&#8217; party. I&#8217;d try to explain the history of this holiday, but I lost track somewhere in the middle of the story, just as you would too. So anyway, it involves hating people and beating things up. And also pizza.\n<p \/>I felt really unpopular for not having anyone to hate and beat with a metal rod or wooden stick, but that&#8217;s not really me. I <i>joke<\/i> about my violence, I don&#8217;t actually perpetuate it. So I got to whack things, simply because it was AWESOME. We made a huge mess. I have videos of Jon and I beating the shit out of stuff and laughing hysterically, but I think some things are best kept on my hard drive. Hahaha.<\/p>\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>Last night, I was rounding the corner onto MyHouse Street, and I saw all this smoke behind me in the mirror. It took me way too long to realize it was CHICO&#8217;S SMOKE. The bastard! He&#8217;s going to get cancer!\n<p \/>I parked him quickly and popped the hood open, but not before I quickly gathered my things in case he was actually on fire. I can live without Chico, but not without my ice skates or gym bag. I decided he wasn&#8217;t burning, just having radiator issues. See, he started asking me for coolant every few months, and he&#8217;s been demanding it more regularly lately. I figured I had a leak in that system somewhere. Last night, he decided to stop asking nicely, and resort to self-immolation.<\/p>\n<p \/>The car shop said it was safe to drive him there if I added more coolant and watched the temperature, because they&#8217;re only 6 blocks away. I drove him up there so he could spend the night, and Tom gave me a ride to work this morning. I&#8217;d have ridden the bus, but seriously, it&#8217;s like -46 outside today. It&#8217;s miserable.<\/p>\n<p \/>They just called to tell me Chico is good as new (for the 15th time this year?), and it was just a radiator hose. I wonder what he&#8217;s going to complain about next? I hope he sticks to the superficial stuff, as it&#8217;s a lot cheaper.<\/p>\n<p \/><\/li>\n<li>TONIGHT I AM GOING TO HOCKEY.\n<p \/><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>OK, it&#8217;s time to face the cold again. Stay warm, dudes.<br \/>Jenni<\/p>\n<p \/>\n<div align='center'>\n<table border='0' width='400' style='border:1px dotted #cccccc;' cellpadding='8'>\n<tr>\n<td>\n<div align='center'><b>your questions, answered<\/b><\/div>\n<p \/><i>q:<\/i><br \/>What do you find offensive?<\/p>\n<p \/><i>a:<\/i><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>deceit<\/li>\n<li>bigotry<\/li>\n<li>the things your president is getting away with<\/li>\n<li>&#8221; &#8221; the banking and healthcare industries are &#8221; &#8221; &#8220;<\/li>\n<li>all &#8217;round hating just because your life sucks<\/li>\n<li>that dude at the auto repair shop who treated me like a girl just now. fucker.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p \/>hi l! xoxo!<\/p>\n<p \/>\n<div align='center'><a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/ask.asp'>ask a question<\/a><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>BULLETS ARE TASTY! Work has had me bleary-eyed all week. I am currently incapable of neatly-segueing paragraphture. I am, however, quite accomplished at reckless word-invention. Allow me to draw your attention to that box over there! &#8211;> I&#8217;m sure you totally missed it so far. So, I have less than $400 to raise to hit &#8230;<a class=\"post-readmore\" href=\"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=352\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-352","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-5G","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/352","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=352"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/352\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=352"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=352"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=352"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}