{"id":298,"date":"2006-08-14T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-08-15T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=509"},"modified":"2006-08-14T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2006-08-15T06:00:00","slug":"100-things-revisited","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=298","title":{"rendered":"100 things revisited"},"content":{"rendered":"

No way!<\/p>\n

I found this thing<\/a> last night while digging through stuff for a freelance project. It’s from three years ago, but it feels like an entire lifetime. I also started reading through some of my journal entries from that time. Holy shit, was I an unhappy person. Here’s to complete life turnarounds, yo.<\/p>\n

I updated it for fun:<\/p>\n

1<\/i> i don’t surf the web anymore.
if it’s not on lj, i’m unlikely to see it.<\/i><\/p>\n

2<\/i> i flex while driving. i make people feel my arm muscles. they love me for it.<\/strike>
stupid neck injury. i have to rebuild my arms again.<\/i><\/p>\n

3<\/i> i eat with my elbows on the table.<\/p>\n

4<\/i> i don’t want kids. i used to think i did.
if it happened under the right circumstances, i think i’d be ok with it. but i also think i’m too old to have kids.<\/i><\/p>\n

5<\/i> there is an fbi file on me.<\/p>\n

6<\/i> i hate morning sex. i have to brush my teeth first.<\/strike>
i dunno why i hated it so much then. i’d still prefer to brush my teeth first, though.<\/i><\/p>\n

7<\/i> i wanted to be han solo.
also, luke duke. the boys got all the best roles.<\/i><\/p>\n

8<\/i> i fall in love with people who are really good with words.<\/p>\n

9<\/i> i think there’s nothing worse than ordinary.
well, there are plenty of things technically worse than ordinary. but yeah.<\/i><\/p>\n

10<\/i> i’m very tactile.
also, visual.<\/i><\/p>\n

11<\/i> i prefer men’s clothes. they’re cuter.<\/strike>
i don’t buy men’s clothes much anymore. except wifebeaters.<\/i><\/p>\n

12<\/i> i go to dunn brothers at 50th and xerxes generally twice a day.<\/strike>
i only get there about once a week now. i go to the stupid caribou by work every day.<\/i><\/p>\n

13<\/i> i would marry you impulsively in a tacky roadside chapel, just to say i’d done it.<\/p>\n

14<\/i> i like almost everyone by default, until they prove me wrong.<\/p>\n

15<\/i> i hated that my initials were ‘jr’ during the years dallas<\/i> was on tv.<\/p>\n

16<\/i> i often have trouble remembering what i did the previous day.<\/strike>
i’m not as bad about this anymore. i think mostly because i’m recounting events to people so often.<\/i><\/p>\n

17<\/i> i feel guilty about downtime. i think i have to be productive 100% of the time. i set up rules for relaxation. i’m a freak.<\/strike>
<\/i>this is one of those self-hating behaviors that changed completely after my breakup. i’m not that hard on myself anymore. i know how to relax. i still only chillax completely when i’m out of town, but that’s fine. that kind of laziness shouldn’t happen that often.<\/i><\/p>\n

18<\/i> i like crowds. i love people-watching. i will always take the seat at the table that allows me to see everything that’s going on. usually, this works well because most of my friends prefer the opposite.<\/p>\n

19<\/i> sarcasm is a defense mechanism i learned growing up as a fat kid.<\/strike>
i used to be caustically sarcastic. i’m not so much anymore.<\/i><\/p>\n

20<\/i> i have lost touch with media. i don’t watch tv or read the news.<\/p>\n

21<\/i> i’m most likely to get angry over laziness, indecision<\/strike>, and bigotry.
make that ‘unreliability’.<\/i><\/p>\n

22<\/i> i am entj<\/a>.<\/p>\n

23<\/i> i wish i had a dick just for a week so i could see what it’s like to 1) pee standing up 2) jerk off 3) fuck 4) have morning wood. i think morning wood is hysterical.
i’ve totally peed standing up.<\/i><\/p>\n

24<\/i> i wish the web had existed when i was a kid, because i was dying for this kind of self-expression.<\/p>\n

25<\/i> i feel vulnerable when i know that i like someone more than they like me.<\/strike>
not really. i used to be pretty insecure.<\/i><\/p>\n

26<\/i> i have to live near a city, but i fantasize about moving to a tiny house in the middle of nowhere. no, not like the unabomber.<\/strike>
nope, i’m set on the city. although i do want a party cabin in minneapolis where all my friends can hang out.<\/i><\/p>\n

27<\/i> i walk 30-40 miles a week.<\/strike>
not anymore. but i do either walk or go to the gym almost daily. i try to get some form of exercise every day. it’s good for the body and the brain.<\/i><\/p>\n

28<\/i> i despise tickling and having my belly button touched.<\/p>\n

29<\/i> i have one tattoo and three piercings.<\/strike>
i have six tattoos (seven as of next week!) and seven piercings.<\/i><\/p>\n

30<\/i> i have a language fetish. i’ve studied russian, german, latin, greek, japanese, and spanish.
also arabic.<\/i><\/p>\n

31<\/i> i have never been to a strip club or ridden a motorcycle. i want to.<\/strike>
i’ve now done both, although the deuce is more of a titty bar.<\/i><\/p>\n

32<\/i> most of my friends are male.<\/strike>
i have a higher percentage of female friends now. they’re all the kind of girls who say they don’t get along with other girls, though. it’s kind of perfect.<\/i><\/p>\n

33<\/i> i feel like i used to be smarter, but now i’m wiser and more confident. it’s worth the tradeoff.
also a hell of a lot more fun. i don’t think intellectualism is worth much if you lack people skills and the drive to do what you want.<\/i><\/p>\n

34<\/i> i think sleep is an inconvenience.<\/p>\n

35<\/i> i don’t consider myself a nice person at all, even if people tell me otherwise.<\/strike>
while “i’m the friendliest motherfucker you ever met” might be a joke, i still try to be decent to people.<\/i><\/p>\n

36<\/i> i really like giving head.<\/p>\n

37<\/i> i don’t eat sugar.<\/p>\n

38<\/i> i think the sexiest accessories are enthusiasm and a bad attitude. no, they’re not exclusive.
also, braaaaaaaaaains. especially when it comes to sense of humor.<\/i><\/p>\n

39<\/i> if i got pregnant, i wouldn’t think twice about having an abortion.<\/p>\n

40<\/i> i can turn anything into a competition.<\/strike>
this isn’t really me anymore, either. if i’m competitive against anyone, it’s myself, generally.<\/i><\/p>\n

41<\/i> i had wonder woman underoos.
i wish i still did.<\/i><\/p>\n

42<\/i> i’m excellent with short-term goals and deadlines. i wait until the last minute to do things, but i’m not a procrastinator. i just do it because i know i can.<\/p>\n

43<\/i> i swear too fucking much.<\/p>\n

44<\/i> i can crochet, but not knit.<\/strike>
i can do both now, but i rarely have time for either.<\/i><\/p>\n

45<\/i> sometimes i hate owning a house.<\/strike>
i love my apartment. i sometimes consider buying a house again just for the investment, but eh. i really love my low cost-of-living, too.<\/i><\/p>\n

46<\/i> i am the most impatient person you will ever meet.<\/strike>
not always. i am, however, the most persistent person you will ever meet.<\/i><\/p>\n

47<\/i> i’ve probably forgotten your name at least once, but i promise i’ll have remembered it by the time we’ve slept together.
HEY NOW I’M NOT HITTING ON YOU. i’m still really bad with names, and recognizing people not in the element in which i first met them. i know a lot of people, though. and i have a shitty memory.<\/i><\/p>\n

48<\/i> i don’t think i speak well. i prefer writing.<\/strike>
i write like i talk.<\/i><\/p>\n

49<\/i> i like to be overheard in bed.
i’m STILL taking credit for driving my neighbors out of their apartment.<\/i><\/p>\n

50<\/i> i don’t feel 30.
or 33, for that matter<\/i>.<\/p>\n

51<\/i> i’m a perfectionist, but not in a counterproductive way. i have a talent for making things look like i put in about 200% more effort than i actually did. this served me well in school.<\/p>\n

52<\/i> i was on paxil for about 6 months in my early 20s, because i was having frequent, terrifying panic attacks. it was exactly what i needed. i stopped taking them because i couldn’t have an orgasm.<\/p>\n

53<\/i> i have guilt over paying people to do things i could be doing myself (valets, room service). i overtip.<\/p>\n

54<\/i> i’ve only had sex with one girl, but i’ve been doing it with her for 10 years now.<\/strike>
well, i’ve still only had sex with one girl. i’ve made out with a few.<\/i><\/p>\n

55<\/i> i hate it when you crack your knuckles. it makes me squirm.<\/p>\n

56<\/i> i had ear tubes four times as a kid.<\/p>\n

57<\/i> i think the two best cures for stress are exercise and masturbation.
also, meditation. also also, i just realized i rarely ever have any noticeable amount of stress anymore. score.<\/i><\/p>\n

58<\/i> i like doing the dishes and laundry. not because i like cleaning, but i enjoy the process and the result.<\/p>\n

59<\/i> my mood is hugely affected by the weather.<\/strike>
my energy level is, though. i’m pretty much always in a good mood, unless work or people make me temporarily crabby. and then there’s pms.<\/i><\/p>\n

60<\/i> i have food obsessions. currently, they are: oatmeal, raisins, mangoes, mock duck, and paneer.<\/strike>
smart bbq, tofu pups, string cheese, and the awesome pizza.<\/i><\/p>\n

61<\/i> i will try almost anything once. i have trouble turning down a challenge or dare.
that dare thing? it’s a problem. i know this.<\/i><\/p>\n

62<\/i> i’m obsessed with mormons, truckers, and the amish.<\/p>\n

63<\/i> i’ve had times where i’ve wondered if i exist.
i look back at my journal from this time, and realize how completely fucked up my life was. i am glad i’ve moved on.<\/i><\/p>\n

64<\/i> our first apartment had roaches. that has scarred me for life.<\/p>\n

65<\/i> i want someone to call me ‘sugar’ in bed.<\/strike>
WAY HOT.<\/i><\/p>\n

66<\/i> i could so<\/i> easily go ocd. i think the awareness is what’s saving me.<\/strike>
this isn’t likely anymore. i’m kind of compulsive about some things, but not in an unhealthy way like i used to be.<\/i><\/p>\n

67<\/i> my dad’s side of the family tree is more of a trunk. mmm, inbreeding.<\/p>\n

68<\/i> i have this bump on the back of my neck that i tell people is cancer, but it’s probably a cyst. either way, i hope it doesn’t kill me.<\/strike>
that? was a cyst. although now i have a bulging disc in that spot!<\/i><\/p>\n

69<\/i> i am fanatically non-religious, spiritual, or mystical, but i can’t deny that i’m the ultimate gemini.
i think i’m somewhat more spiritual now, but not in any organized way. i believe in karma.<\/i><\/p>\n

70<\/i> i want to write a book. i want to buy a copy of my book on amazon.
i want that book to be a self-help book about logs. yes.<\/i><\/p>\n

71<\/i> i’ve never had a dream-orgasm, and i’m a little disappointed about that.<\/strike>
ohhhhhh yeah.<\/i><\/p>\n

72<\/i> i love coincidence and good timing. i think i have a talent for putting myself in the right place at the right time.<\/strike>
i don’t really believe in coincidence anymore. i believe in opportunities presenting themselves at the right time, and being smart enough to take them.<\/i><\/p>\n

73<\/i> my boobs are way smaller than they used to be. i like them better this way.<\/p>\n

74<\/i> i cry 3 or 4 times a year. i should do it more often, because i like that numb feeling afterwards.<\/strike>
oh jesus. i cry all the time now. i’m a happy-cryer. it’s a joyful thing.<\/i><\/p>\n

75<\/i> my career goals as a child: marine biologist, pianist, museum curator.<\/p>\n

76<\/i> i can sing all the states in alphabetical order. it’s served me well in trivia games.<\/p>\n

77<\/i> i hate watching sports, but i’ll go to any live event just to see the funny people.<\/strike>
I LOVE HOCKEY. and lacrosse. and sometimes cage-fighting.<\/i><\/p>\n

78<\/i> if you flirt with me on a day i feel i look like shit, i tend to become ferociously bitter.<\/strike>
oh god no. thank you, therapy.<\/i><\/p>\n

79<\/i> i often suspect that i’m a fraud because i’m good at what i do, and therefore it’s easy to me. i don’t think there’s any merit in what comes easily. i realize that i’m going to drive myself crazy one day.<\/strike>
clearly, i used to have some very unhealthy thoughts. i’m great at my work. it’s easy because i know what i’m doing.<\/i><\/p>\n

80<\/i> i went to therapy until my insurance ran out, and loved it.
sometimes i wish i could go back, even though i don’t feel any pressing need to. it was just really great.<\/i><\/p>\n

81<\/i> i don’t snore, but i used to.<\/p>\n

82<\/i> i have damage to my optic nerve that is especially noticeable in my left eye.<\/p>\n

83<\/i> i’m turned on by footnotes, parentheticals, and strikethroughs.
OH BABY.<\/i><\/p>\n

84<\/i> i’m well-aware of my tendency towards self-destruction, and try to redirect it in positive ways.<\/strike>
i don’t think i’m very self-destructive anymore. i had a lot of anger that i directed inwards. i am, however, still too extreme about some things.<\/i><\/p>\n

85<\/i> i am the oldest of four kids.<\/p>\n

86<\/i> i think almost all illness is psychological, and that we can talk ourselves into and out of almost anything.
i think meditation and self-awareness are a huge part of this.<\/i><\/p>\n

87<\/i> i will never be happy with the way i look, but i’m trying to at least accept that attitude.<\/strike>
while i still relate somewhat, i dislike the wording in this a lot. i love my life. i’ll never have the perfect body, no matter how hard i work at it. that’s totally irrelevant to my happiness. i’m fine with it.<\/i><\/p>\n

88<\/i> i think that my current career is my true calling, and that makes me incredibly happy.
it evolves, but this is still true.<\/i><\/p>\n

89<\/i> i have excellent aim.<\/p>\n

90<\/i> i hate that hello kitty is trendy. she’s mine, since 1976.<\/strike>
eh.<\/i><\/p>\n

91<\/i> my dad was a dea agent.<\/p>\n

92<\/i> i’m attracted to younger guys. not because they’re younger, but because they’re more likely to have that look.<\/strike>
sometimes, but i have a lot of different standards for attractive now. also, the age difference can cause a lot of problems.<\/i><\/p>\n

93<\/i> i was very surprised to realize it didn’t bother me that people saw me having sex outdoors.<\/p>\n

94<\/i> i’m selfish. and unapologetic about it.<\/strike>
i’m selfish in that i make sure my own needs are taken care of first (because martyrs are useless and make everyone unhappy), but i think i’m pretty generous as well. i’d do anything for my friends.<\/i><\/p>\n

95<\/i> i’m almost always cold.<\/strike>
thank god that episode is over.<\/i><\/p>\n

96<\/i> liquor-breath turns me on.
also cigarette-breath. vice is tasty.<\/i><\/p>\n

97<\/i> i’ve been interviewed for magazines, newspapers, websites, and radio. i’ve been on the local news twice. i have both instances on tape.
i’ve been on the news four times now.<\/i><\/p>\n

98<\/i> i think time is infinitely more valuable than money.
money does buy you a certain degree of freedom, however.<\/i><\/p>\n

99<\/i> i’d love to write a sex-advice column.<\/p>\n

100<\/i> i’m a compulsive list-maker. obviously.<\/p>\n

OK, time for the doing of stuff now.
Jenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No way! I found this thing last night while digging through stuff for a freelance project. It’s from three years ago, but it feels like an entire lifetime. I also started reading through some of my journal entries from that time. Holy shit, was I an unhappy person. Here’s to complete life turnarounds, yo. I …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-4O","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}