{"id":243,"date":"2007-01-21T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-01-22T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=564"},"modified":"2007-01-21T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-01-22T06:00:00","slug":"i-heart-seamen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=243","title":{"rendered":"i heart seamen."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Humanity,<\/p>\n<p \/>I would very much like to rejoin you now.<\/p>\n<p \/>Remember last week, when <a href='http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=563'>I said I had emphysema<\/a>? It was actually the plague. My lungs got worse, and Thursday I woke up with a sharp stabbing in the side of my head, so I knew it was time to visit the doctor.<\/p>\n<p \/>I think the ear infection is probably gone, but the sickness seems particularly fond of me. It&#8217;s all clinging to my leg, yelling, &#8220;but I love you, baby!&#8221; while I&#8217;m trying to shake it off and run far, far away. I&#8217;ve slept enough in the past week to make up for all the sleep I&#8217;ve been (happily) missing the past couple months. Today is the first day I haven&#8217;t been dizzy every time I stand up. I&#8217;m nearly deaf and my brains are fuzzy and scrambled, so I feel confusingly detached from people and events. My memory of the week since we&#8217;ve returned from Vegas is muddled and surreal, but here are some things I recall playing a part:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strike>fighting<\/strike>knitting: our group keeps attracting new members, which is strange, considering the first rule of knit club.<\/li>\n<li>Town Talk: Dodgeball says I was there, but I have no memory of it.<\/li>\n<li>dinner at the Independent, coffee plus whiskey making things temporarily better, subsequent collapsing on the couch<\/li>\n<li><i>Infinite Jest<\/i>: I was somewhat delirious, and therefore the words will be rattling around my brain forever.<\/li>\n<li>doctor visit, <a href='http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/queen_of_subtle\/364868869\/' target='j'>knitting<\/a>, sickness, knitting, drugs, <a href='http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/queen_of_subtle\/364910070\/' target='j'>knitting<\/a>, drugs, coughing, sickness<\/li>\n<li>missing our first broomball game, dammit (but they won!)<\/li>\n<li>pub quiz, considering dying in the Keegan&#8217;s restroom<\/li>\n<li>apparently we watched <i>the Office<\/i>?<\/li>\n<li>a couple very dizzy hours at work, going home to sleep on the couch again<\/li>\n<li>hockey at Mariucci (we were both miserable, but I&#8217;d have to actually be dead to miss a game I had tickets to), wanting to lay on the floor during the first period, but I think the pretzel helped (though it didn&#8217;t actually help them <i>win<\/i>)<\/li>\n<li>more couch, more coughing, more dizziness<\/li>\n<li>called into work on Saturday, followed by more sleeping on the couch<\/li>\n<li>hockeywatching at Lyle&#8217;s, the beginnings of denial about the sickness<\/li>\n<li>Kieran&#8217;s, the Yacht Club, Nye&#8217;s: learning that cold medicine plus having no appetite at all makes for a terrible combination<\/li>\n<li>Sunday morning: bed; Sunday afternoon: couch; Sunday evening: Matt&#8217;s couch (I managed to eat some pizza! Success!)<\/li>\n<li>the AFC championship game, in which we witnessed the <a href='http:\/\/www.nfl.com\/features\/rulebook\/signals\/32' target='j'>football-equivalent of too many men on the ice<\/a>!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p \/>Anyway, today I&#8217;m at work again, and my current status is 43% normal, and gradually improving. Once I&#8217;m able to hear again, I think I&#8217;ll feel a lot better. In the meantime, I&#8217;m going to sit here and ponder the fact that we&#8217;ll be on a giant ship in the Caribbean in two months, and I will be rockin&#8217; shuffleboard and chillaxing in deck chairs like nobody&#8217;s business. And I hear there will even be sun.<\/p>\n<p \/>Let us all raise our glasses of Robitussin and toast to the end of The Sickness. Right now.<br \/>Jenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Humanity, I would very much like to rejoin you now. Remember last week, when I said I had emphysema? It was actually the plague. My lungs got worse, and Thursday I woke up with a sharp stabbing in the side of my head, so I knew it was time to visit the doctor. I &#8230;<a class=\"post-readmore\" href=\"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=243\">read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-243","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-3V","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/243\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}