{"id":177,"date":"2007-07-19T23:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-07-20T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatemussolini.com\/cm\/default.asp?n=630"},"modified":"2007-07-19T23:00:00","modified_gmt":"2007-07-20T06:00:00","slug":"2-days-and-counting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/?p=177","title":{"rendered":"2 days and counting."},"content":{"rendered":"

Holy Friday, dudes!<\/p>\n

I just spent half an hour on the sidewalk waiting out a fire alarm. My fear that my mushy romantic photos, Gophers hockey poster, and #44 Ryan Ward magnet were being consumed by a massive conflagration was lessened by the gloriousness of standing in the sun, listening to Pam and Mary debate going over to the Little Wagon for a drink. We watched a hook-and-ladder pull out of the fire station two blocks away, then turn and go elsewhere. Apparently it was a false alarm again.<\/p>\n

On Wednesday, I went to get my cervix pierced, by which I mean I got an IUD. I will spare you the details that would make your downthere regions contract and try to hide inside your body, but these are the important points:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I’m not pregnant. Of course I knew this, but there’s something about having a medical professional say it that makes it 75% more reassuring.\n

    <\/li>\n

  2. Carrying a bottle of ibuprofin with you everywhere is an excellent idea.\n

    <\/li>\n

  3. It’s not exactly painful, just horrifically uncomfortable. It makes you cramp instantly, and there’s all this poking and sensation in areas you’ve never felt those things before, despite your naughtiest adventures.\n

    Unless, of course, you’ve had a baby, in which case you’re probably telling me to shut the hell up right now.<\/p>\n

    <\/li>\n

  4. You’re not supposed to have sex for 1-2 weeks afterward.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Let’s<\/p>\n

    just<\/p>\n

    pause<\/p>\n

    and<\/p>\n

    feel<\/p>\n

    my<\/p>\n

    pain.<\/p>\n

    Mostly my brain shut off at the word ‘one’, so I didn’t hear the high end of that estimate.<\/p>\n

    Anyway, I’m verymuch looking forward to this weekend, because we’ll be in town. Tonight is a BBQ, tomorrow is Willis’ birthday party and the D4\/Arrivals show at Triple Rock, and Sunday is brunchgating and the Stitch n’ Pitch game. Interspersed will be hanging out, and trying to figure out how to fill the time while we’re not… never mind.<\/p>\n

    And now, are you ready for the cutest thing I’ve ever made? YOU ARE!<\/p>\n

    \n

    <\/a><\/div>\n

    Happy pretzel!
    Jenni<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Holy Friday, dudes! I just spent half an hour on the sidewalk waiting out a fire alarm. My fear that my mushy romantic photos, Gophers hockey poster, and #44 Ryan Ward magnet were being consumed by a massive conflagration was lessened by the gloriousness of standing in the sun, listening to Pam and Mary debate …read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/po9qt-2R","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=177"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/queenofsubtle.com\/cm\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}