Land of 10,000 Malls

Dear Southerners, It has come to my attention recently that there is widespread misunderstanding about my home city. On several occasions, I’ve had a conversation very similar to the following: Southerner: “Where ya’ll from?” Me: “Minneapolis.” Southerner: “Oh, that’s where they have that big mall!” Now, I know the Mall of America is well-publicized and acknowledged. However, there’s something I ...

Stop Pay Toll

Dear Illinois Highway Department, I’d say that $.55 is a fair enough price to get the hell out of Rockford. Sincerely, Jenni

In the Hood

Dear Mr. Rogers, You don’t know me, but I know you. In fact, I feel that we share a certain uncomfortable intimacy, like coworkers who see each other at work the day after drunkenly making out at a party. You know what I mean. When I was a kid, probably pre-school age or earlier, my mom used to make me ...

Dear Diary

Dear Diary, I’m prepared to admit that sometimes I put a little too much effort into my job. Jenni