Stop Pay Toll

Dear Illinois Highway Department, I’d say that $.55 is a fair enough price to get the hell out of Rockford. Sincerely, Jenni

In the Hood

Dear Mr. Rogers, You don’t know me, but I know you. In fact, I feel that we share a certain uncomfortable intimacy, like coworkers who see each other at work the day after drunkenly making out at a party. You know what I mean. When I was a kid, probably pre-school age or earlier, my mom used to make me ...

Dear Diary

Dear Diary, I’m prepared to admit that sometimes I put a little too much effort into my job. Jenni

Do You Smell Meatloaf?

Dear Tuna, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for almost 15 years now. You’d think I would have let it go, but you’ve become sort of a paradigm of irritation for me. The thing is, I hate you. No, really. I never liked you, and I’m mystified as to how I managed to spend so much time with you. ...